poppyuk45

I could kick myself! I was doing ok until last night, I had company and got out the wine, at first I said I was having tea, then I gave in, opened the bottle, then another, then another. In total I drank one bottle of wine sociablly, then two bottles to myself by myself. I'm so disappointed in myself that I wasn't stronger

Windancer

Its ok! I broke down again last night too (Im not trying to minimize btw). My task today and im trying to reinforce why I am choosing not to drink. The most important thing is that your back, dusting yourself off, and keeping at it. Dont be too hard on yourself....the past is done now .

MidnightBlue

Hi, Poppy.

There is no use to kick yourself. Dust yourself off and keep going. You slipped, it happens. You are posting here - that's great. Next time, be aware of "first social glass", your triggers, make some changes to your plans. And you will win.

Keep the faith. Take care.

Weasel1966

Failure? NO!

This is something we need to unlearn. We need to encourage ourselves to try again to unlearn these behavior and reactions just as it was when we encouraged ourselves to learn anything else new. Only unlearning is a bit more tricky. Needs more practice,

Go easy on yourselves. You will be just fine.

Take today to push those negative thoughts out of your head.

Take a deep breath so you not holding all.

And today is a new day.

I have struggled a lot. And I do understand the frustration.

All my best to you!

Ken

poppyuk45

I feel like crying because I was doing so well. Why can't I be stronger?

Windancer

I felt like that briefly this morning too. But I am just trying to see it as a sign that I need more coping skills, more thought awareness, and I must NOT forget why I dont want to drink. For me feeling like a failure makes me want to drink again, so Im trying to be positive (again, not minimizing). You can do it! Many many people have and if they can, we can too! And many many people have stumbled a abit along the way too.

Anna

My suggestion is don't keep alcohol in the house, then you can't just get it out. Don't buy it. Stock your fridge with other things. You can do this!

2granddaughters

I could always quit drinking but I couldn't stay quit ......

I found lasting sobriety, sanity and serenity in Alcoholics Anonymous.

All the best.

Bob R

zanzibar

Hi poppy, I agree with the others in that you shouldn't beat yourself up over this. Figure out what happened as something in your plan didn't work. And it sounds to me that part of your plan seems to be to allow yourself around alcohol.

For me in early recovery I had to isolate myself from booze whenever I possibly could, and never put myself in a position where I had to handle it or have access to it.

In situations where I couldn't avoid it I made sure someone knew that I had quit. I was very open about my desire to stop although I realize that this openness is not for everyone.

BruceJ

Sometimes we just have to surrender. We have to realize that our exerting our willpower just doesn't work. For me, I have to listen to others that have succeeded and just do what they suggest. My best intentions and my best thinking dam* near killed me.
Those simple steps don't need my studying, my interpretation, or my opinion.....they just need me to work them despite my inhibitions.

All the best.

version2

I had multiple slips - a couple of days, a week. I understand now that it was not because I was not strong - it was because I was not solving my problem. I drank because I did not like my life. Wine was my method of escape. I drank a couple bottles of wine every night - not to be social - I did that alone.

I joined AA and it has given me something else to do instead of drink.

Maybe you can find something to replace the drinking. You will still want it but maybe you will want something else even more.

MIRecovery

I was handed my butt more times than I can count when I got into the ring with King Alcohol. So I stopped fighting the fight. I absolutely stopped going to any situations with alcohol for almost 2 years

Abetterway

Hi,

I am coming up on one year sober. For me to stay sober i had to clear all alcohol out of my house and keep it out. I let my friends know that i wasn't drinking(lied and said i was trying to loose weight until i felt comfortable enough to tell the truth) and explained that they would have to bring their own if they wanted a drink at my place. I don't think I could have stayed sober this long if I had kept any around. Can i ask why you had that much wine?

Jeni26

Poppy, I was just reading some of my old threads. I do that sometimes to keep myself focused and remind myself just how far I've come.
Day 5 was difficult for me too. Don't know why, it just was.
The early days and weeks are the pits. It's so hard to break old habits.
But it can be done.
Let it go. You're back and posting.
Get rid of any alcohol in the house. Jump back on the wagon.
Getting sober requires changing your whole lifestyle and routines. But it is really worth the effort, I promise you x

hypochondriac

Is there any way you could avoid social occasions for a bit Poppy? There is no way I could have managed that on day 5. I found I had to avoid certain things which would trigger me and situations where I would feel pressured to drink. It is only a temporary arrangement until the worst of it is over at the beginning. It's worth doing to make your life easier x

nogard

Its just a bump you hit, change some things and start again, get rid of the booze, dont invite people over to drink, change your habits, dont go to bars or places where there is a lot of booze. Do this until you are able to be there and be ok. Although I find I have little interest being around people drinking today

Delilah1

I agree with everyone, you can't go back, you can only move forward. I am only on Day 36 and I skipped a function last night because I knew the free wine would be too tempting. I also would have been around colleagues I haven't seen in a while and they all would have had wine or beer. It is not easy, but we can do this.

Hang in there, and have a happy and sober weekend!!!

poppyuk45

Abetterway - I had the wine because at the time I started on one glass but it soon turned to bottles. The wine that we have in is supposed to be for over Christmas when we have people round. Think hubby will have to hide the garage key where it's kept. Thanks for all of your support, I'm trying again, day 2.