dedubya

I have been here before, some may remember. Fact is, alcohol is controlling my life. I cant stop!I dont know how to do this. I was sober first part of this year and now I am back drinking. This sucks, I dont sleep, Im depressed I guess, well thats enough. Anyone with comments or advice I would appreciate.
Dub

Anna

Dub, you know what you need to do. You just have to make the choice and do it. You can stop drinking if that's what you want.

bbthumper

I as well as many others have found it necessary to get involved in a recovery program. It seems to me that there is a certain type of alcoholic who cant get well just by not drinking. In fact life seems to get worse when we just stop and do nothing else.
I have recovered from alcoholism through AA. Other folks here have used other methods. Bottom line though is that it seems that many are unable to recover on will power alone with out the help of a program of recovery.
Best wishes my friend. Welcome back.

dedubya

Thanks Anna
I do know. Just cant get it. I have crazy anxiety issues since stopping my meds, which is a good thing- benzos arent a solution for me as I was on klonopin for 4 yrs script, been over year for that. I am just struggling. I guess I am just sick
Dub

MIRecovery

What you are experiencing is the nature of alcoholism and the only solution is abstinance.

The only real question is what is my plan for recovery

Fernaceman

Well you are here, so in some form you accept there is a problem and want more out of life.

My sponsor told me some very wise words when I was still actively using that made a lot of sense to me. He said there is not a thing wrong with drinking or using if that's what I wanted to do. The only catch is I had to be willing to accept whatever consequences life threw at me as a result.

Sounds like you really aren't appreciating the depression that accompanies heavy substance use. Coming here for advice is great, don't get me wrong. But in the end...STOP the physical act of drinking and only then will things begin to get better for you.

I wish you only the best and hope we will continue to see you here.

dedubya

Well it has costed a ton in money and relationships, I really never get drunk. It seems like I drink to just feel normal. Guess today is a start.
Dub

MIRecovery

What is your plan to stay sober this time. "If you alway do what you always did, you will always get what you always got."

dedubya

I need a plan. And dont have it. AA has worked in the past but since I stopped klonopin last year I have really just not been able or willing to go anywhere. I know that sounds weird. Its true. Sorry for pity stuff. Just looking for help.

aasharon90

Find a sober person working and living
a good recovery program and stick with
them. Let them lead you for a yr. or
so or till you can stand on your own.
To live sober on a solid recovery foundation
the both of you have started and you can
live comfortable on by yourself.

Let someone else carry you till ur confident
and strong enough to continue on ur own recovery
journey.

Fernaceman

Love that quote MIR. So true.

As far as getting a plan...seems like you already have one in mind that could work (AA). Now ya just have to get up and go there. What's the big deal? You probably spent more energy obsessing about drinking/using than it would take to get to and participate in a meeting. I know I wasted quite a bit.

dedubya

Thanks. My last counselor mentioned if I spent 20% of the time getting sober that I spent getting alcohol my sobriety would probably work. I just have crazy withdrawals and anxiety. I need to just commit and go through the crap.

Fernaceman

Yeah. I hated when people told me that too. Because they were right and frankly I just wanted to get sober, live a great life while having good things constantly happen to me, but did not want to do ANY work. If you can figure out how to make that happen, please tell me. Hell, write a book and get rich off it. I'd buy it.

least

Please see your doctor and ask for help in getting past the initial withdrawal. The first week always used to stop me cold too and I couldn't get past it. But with determination I made it thru and will soon be celebrating three years sober. And I used to think I was hopeless.

Please get help to stop and then find a method to stay stopped. Your life depends on it.

dedubya

Not sure if that is possible. I will check it out.... Im just going through my normal Nov/Dec blues also. Thanks for the comments.
D

Fandy

maybe it's time to work on the issues that surround the drinking?

i do remember you from when i first joined SR. you were happy in your career and actively seeking sobriety then...You have a daughter if i remember correctly and a family, are they supportive?

Mark75

Yep.... I identify with that statement...

Welcome back Dub! I know you know that I do the AA thing and that's something you could look into.

dedubya

Hey Mark
Yes I remember the cycling.. good to hear from you. trying hard..
Dub

Dee74

welcome back Dub - some good advice here.

I think the main thing is to do something - because if you do nothing you'll get lot more of what you're getting right now.

If you have anxiety issues - why not see someone about them...?

coming off benzoes is not easy either...did you do that on your own initiative?...see someone about that too.

If AA worked in the past...get yourself up on your feet and to a meeting Dub.

reach out and start making those support connections and positive changes and your life will change

D

dedubya

Thanks friends
I really dont think I can detox by stopping due to my anxiety. However I know I need to. Guess I will try to taper. I know that is not good...I am trying really hard today.
D