kmick0871

I was day 15 had been doing great.. Then I let my emotions take over, my ex called and it was not a pleasant conversation.. That threw me over the edge. I drove to the liquor store. Turned around and around and around and one more time around. I reluctantly went inside feeling uncomfortable and out of place. Purchased a pint of my demon. Took it home and starred at it for like an hr. And then.....gave in. Took two shots. Decided it want worth it and dumped the rest. No I didn't get loaded or even get drunk but even giving in to this disease just pissed me off to no end. I'm so mad at myself, no it didn't compare to the fifth or more a night I used to drink but still...I lost I let in, now all the work I've done the last two weeks is garbage... Just needed to vent.. Thanks you...

Casmasta

All the work you put in is quality. Don't beat yourself up.
Two weeks of work is two weeks of work. Now put in two more.
You didn't drink the whole thing.
You made a different choice than you have made before.
I know you're angry, but shake it off.
Tomorrow/today is new!!

JungleGirl

You decide every moment of every day, who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance every second x

Dee74

All the work you put in is still there....and it's not garbage

Recovery's not a sprint - it's a marathon - with hurdles..if you fall at one hurdle that's not the end of the race

maybe you just need to work a little more on your reactions and your coping strategies for those intensely emotional situations?

That's what places like SR are for - you log in and you find support and you talk the insane ideas down...

the guys here have saved my butt more than once

D

choublak

You could block your ex's number, maybe...

kmick0871

We have a child together. its not his fault I broke or can't cope in a healthy way. Its mine and I own it. There are going to be many more times I'm tested and its up to me to find ways to find a healthy outlet... We'll see..

choublak

Oh okay. I didn't know about the child. I thought he might have been calling you just to be a pain...lol

kmick0871

Haha. not saying he wasn't doing that.. Lol but yes it would be easier if we didn't because he is one of my biggest triggers but I can't use that anymore. Its almost like he knows when to call.. Ill be fine he'll only talk to our child then he tells him he wants to talk to mommy... Ggggrrrrr I really think he just knows when its not a good time.. lol oh well. I know he will be my biggest challenge but I know I can do it.. The fights on!!!!!

DisgruntledGoat

I can understand your frustration, but look at the positives. I think it's fantastic that you dumped the rest of the bottle, I don't know if I would have been able to do that in the same situation. Well done!

You've learned something about yourself!

instant

We never lose sober time, and we can keep on learning. Letting people push your buttons is something you can work on if you want to.