hesabitdaft

This is a real question, I have not joined this site to upset anyone, my first post was long and honest and not something you would normally read from someone who did the job I did, it had its barriers though, I am new to disclosure.

The question is.... as an alcoholic you have done many things, experienced many things when drunk, many forgotten, some idiotic, maybe some have been helpful? Now you are sober would you take them back?

I only ask because I have saved two peoples lives when I was really drunk, if I was not there, they would be dead, if I was not drunk, I would not have been there.

I am trying not to drink, questions like this crop up in my head, I know two people are alive because I was drinking, me being drunk saved their lives. I know this is unusual, I probably should not post on here but sometimes a man needs to connect and reading through your posts we share pain and so I have. Maybe I should go elsewhere, we will see?

YEM

I helped people when I was messed up as well and possibly wouldnt have been there if I wasnt using. Who really knows? I try and stay away from thoughts where it seems like I am trying to justify using (insert drinking) to myself.

I probably could have helped many people I did not because I was out there getting messed up. I prefer to look at it that way.

Thepatman

Not many of us saved lives drunk. But we did come close to our own death. Probalities of you story are one in a million. Our stories are not ;-)

Thepatman

And to think that ones Physical abilities are increased while impaired is also not logical.

That's they call DUI

MIRecovery

I would say the score card is lopsided. A bazillion dead because of alcohol a few saved because of alcohol. That said not all alcohol related events were bad there was a lot of good times and I would not take them back but the bad times eventually far outweighed the good.

ricmcc

Well, it is an unusual question, I'll grant you that, but not at all upsetting, so no worry over that. You happened to be in the right place at the right time because you were drinking with these people; I am curious as to whether their drinking put them into life threatening situations? I can see no causal relationship between alcohol and the ability to save lives, so perhaps the better question to ask yourself is just why you feel a need to stop drinking. Good luck, Rick

Casmasta

I don't know..
Some people have met the love of their life while they were out having drinks..
But then maybe blew it because their alcoholism progressed.

There's a lot of what ifs.

I too had a lot of good times..
Met a lot of really good friends being a drunk.

I just know that in the end, it was making me miserable.

hesabitdaft

answers my question, special forces, there is nothing for us really, we are just meant to die, retire or cope.

Thepatman

Sorry real sorry, I did not realize you are in the army or have been. My answer was just about me, and my 6 year old son that would probably grow up alone if I don't stop. Sorry, hope there is help you can reach out to. What you did counts for all of us, you sacrifice and courage. But watching you die of booze would not be right for us. If you do have a problem like us. The liver can only take so much

Dee74

I think all of us are the sum of our experiences - good bad and indifferent, hesabitdaft.

I probably did some good things when I was drunk - I can't remember any of them but the law of averages is on my side over twenty years when you were as drunk as I was day after day.

I don't think any good I might have done at all negates the harm or the bad things I did drunk tho - and there was a lot of that - nor does it change the fact I was killing myself as a drinker.

I'm not even sure I agree you saved someones life because you were drunk - seems to me you might have some special training and that kicked in in spite of you being drunk, not because of it...I think you saved someones life because you were there.

You can argue you were there because you were drunk - but hey, if we're gonna play what if, maybe you were there because you were meant to be?

D

hesabitdaft

forget what I said, just life, read some Chris Ryan... I would probably be shot for being on here but who knows who I am and does it matter why I want to get better, the old boys are giving me nothing. Read some Chris Ryan, novel????

dogmamma

I think some of the best times and worst times in my life happened while drinking. My writing is more inspired when I drink because my mind is temporarily unburdened. That's why alcohol was so seductive to me.

Aaaaand then, all that other horrible crap happened. So it had to go. I will always miss the good times, but the bad ones out weighed the good.

Threshold

I personally don't ascribe to this manner of thinking, I mean, at ANY moment in time, had we been doing something different, in a different place the fabric of life for ourselves and others would change. Spending a lot of time reflecting on what if, in one direction or another... well like statistics, that can be used to support or condemn nearly anything.

If I was at the pool...maybe so and so wouldn't have drowned. If I took that job at the bakery, maybe I wouldn't have met that guy who burned me so bad in a relationship, If I'd adopted a different dog...it goes on and on.

No matter what, we will have good things happen and bad things happen. Not everything we do drunk is horrible, and not everything we do sober is comendable. That's life.

I think we have a better shot at making good decisions sober, and carrying out the things we want to do for ourselves and others.

Ironically, in my case, I turned to drinking and drugging in an attempt to cover up my anxiety so I could "be there" for others. I only became less available to them and myself, and any good I might actually do.

coming_clean

....
Karmatic luck you were at the right place and time.
...my opinion.
Alcohol is a poison, that kills and does not save.

Cleopatra1

hes,,, my hubby reads all the andy mcnab books,, and true stories written by many sas blokes,,, we really admire your courage and bravery in what you do for our country,,, you sure do rock,, and its true many of you suffer huge ptsd,,, and indeed are just brushed to one side,, its a crying outrage how we treat our sas guys,,, have you read bout the guy with the gun in uk??
he got a prison sentence when stupid idiots here are taking our tax money and getting away with crime right under our noses,, all in the name of human rights!!!
i salute you very muchly,, your one helluva dude,,, and glad you are here ,,, your anominity is safe here my friend,,,
good luck with the sober life,,, i have all faith in you ,,,
your rock,,
lv xx cleo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ps my hubby met andy last week,, got his book signed to!!! xx