myoldself

i can't begin to explain the deep pain i'm feeling today. My husband and I both went to our first marriage counselor appt on Monday..we were told to buy a certain book, read two chapters, and also list anything that has been hurtful caused by each other over the next week, also write out thoughts on the first two chapters of the book. Besides alcoholism or I guess the reality is because of alcoholism, my husband never does what he says he's going to do...and it's so hurtful, I cannot rely on him to do anything concerning the two of us that he says/promises he'll do..this is one of our BIG issues..no trust on my behalf of him. I feel like I'm in a very unstable environment at all times. As I've posted before, he's VP of a company, straight as an arrow at work, everyone loves him @ work, he will climb the highest mountain and go above and beyond for work but homelife..zero, nothing..cold as ice. So he had to go to his home office Tuesday thru today and packed our new book..said he was going to take it to dinner with him, read it, make his notes and it made me feel really good..i was excited about this new venture and what changes it might bring. Well, he left the book at work overnight, instead went to the store (i'm guessing to buy wine for the evening in his hotel room), went out to eat & read USA Today and Indpls STar & News, came back to the room and watched Piers Morgan..no mention of the book. I asked him this morning if he read any of it and he said no, I left it at work. I texted him back & told him I was disappointed and hurt as I thought the idea was to follow thru w/what he says he's going to do and I feel like everything else but our marriage was his priority..I've not heard back from him at all today. I'm too mentally exhausted to go thru his drinking routine but he has tried for the last month to cut back..but he does not consider himself to have a drinking problem..oh brother anyway, I'm really hurting..I'm guessing I should focus on me and let what he's doing go but I'm crushed right now...I need some encouragement and direction!

Anna

My best suggestion is for you to seek out AlAnon in your area as a support for yourself.

Hopefully your husband will seek help for his alcoholism.