I have always known that I am an alcoholic.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: fort wayne, IN.
Posts: 1,085
I have always known that I am an alcoholic.
Remembering reading to my children a long time ago. I read The Little Prince to them. One character has remained vivid in my mind. The Tippler. He drank to forget how ashamed he was of his drinking. When the kids were little I did not drink. I had quit because of them. In truth, I had to because I could'nt drink normally. I did'nt call myself an alcoholic then. Never could admit it. My thoughts were alcoholics sleep in gutters and are the epitomy of immorality. Denial isn't 100%. In reality, I knew I was which is why I related to The Tippler.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
I believe I was born an alcoholic. Even as a child I always wanted to escape to a place of serenity and safety. Alcohol did that for me until I figured out it was trying to kill me in the process
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,618
Honestly I dont know when I knew I was an alcoholic. I *think* it was something that developed over time with my mother making a drinking buddy out of me at 14, and that combined with anxiety, an all or nothing personality and perhaps some "crazy drinking genes" gradually contributed to a really really big issue that almost killed me.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 133
I, too, remember that first drink, also at 14. Shared three budweiser cans with a guy. Warm, enlightening, comforting, relieving and I felt a apart of something. Most of those feelings didn't last too long and none of them much into my thirties. Now in my late 40's and trying to figure out where the last 12 years went. Lots of at home drunk nites. Lots of sorry days at work the next day. Couple of failed relationships. More debt. No social life to speak of. When I write it down, its depressing. I don't want my 50's to be the same and I don't want to get more ill. But yes, those first early times - what eye-openers!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: fort wayne, IN.
Posts: 1,085
My first drink was at 14. I felt relaxed. I had a very abusive home. I was scared from age 7.
It was then my alcoholic thoughts were born. I thought more is better. I ended up throwing up.
It would be many years later that I would consider alcoholism a diagnosis for myself.
I would quit only to fall harder the next time I would start drinking. The longest sobriety I have ever had is 8 years.
It was then my alcoholic thoughts were born. I thought more is better. I ended up throwing up.
It would be many years later that I would consider alcoholism a diagnosis for myself.
I would quit only to fall harder the next time I would start drinking. The longest sobriety I have ever had is 8 years.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
I drank like an alkie from day one. The thing is it was the 70's and everyone else was doing the same (plus other substances). They grew out of it. Now I need beer just to not shake and spin in my tracks and to sleep properly. I gave up all other substances long ago, but can't quit the beer.
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