1qaz

hi, I dont know what to do, hope im posting in the right place, about a month ago it was confirmed that my 16 year old brother is on drugs (im 19), he is saying that hes not involved but i know he is. I have found hash in the house and can get a smell from his room. Alot of money has gone missing from my room reciently, this was the money I had saved for my insurance for the car! No-one else in the family believes me that he is involved, i tryed to confront him but this ends up in a screaming match! any ideas on what i can do to get help or should i just let on i dont know whats going on? Was thinking of moving away, would this help as i know he blames me for alot of the problems!

Northwest

This post breaks my heart. I have been in your brothers shoes before and I have a sister that was in yours. Honestly there is not a whole lot things that you can do. I know what helped my sister was she clearly set her boundaries with me. No financial help but she would make sure she let me know that she knew what I was doing. Be ready and be waiting with a response if he ever reaches out to you for some kind of support when it comes to quitting or getting counseling. If he continues to rip you off and do the normal thing drug addicts like me do, my best advice is that you love him from a distance. Prayer no matter what religion you believe in will be beneficial to you and him. I wish the best for you and your family. God bless.

thislonelygirl

yes moving away may help.
when i was younger my sister stole money, did drugs etc she was a mess!! and just what others would call out of control kid thankfully she never needed to go to rehab or was an addict . now she has an amazing job, wonderful fiance , drug free and is a well rounded person. sometimes its a bad kids faze, sometimes its not but i will say that moving away will help you and as for your sibling if it is a problem and not some faze your parents will hopefully awaken to it because they and him are the ones who can make any decisions regarding that. but for you to encourage and not enable. best of luck

artsoul

Welcome 1qaz -

Not sure what advice I can give (other than finding a way to protect your money), but wanted to welcome you to the forum. You may want to take a look at the Family/Friends section, as I know there are others who have been in your shoes:
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

I hope things work out for you!

Maylie

Welcome. I'm sorry that you are the only one that seems to think there is a problem.
Basically, the only thing you can do is protect yourself. Make sure your money isn't
in a place that he can reach and also make sure that any valuable things you own
aren't out where he can a hold of them since as his addiction progresses he will most
likely do what addicts do and steal items and pawn them for drug money.

I know it must be fustrating and heart breaking to see your little brother go down the wrong path but you can't make him stop. Also, move away if YOU want to move away for YOU. Don't move away if the only reason is because he blames you for him problems. You didn't cause him to do drugs. He made a decision and he continues to do it because he decides to. When I ask still actively using I used to blame my using on anything and anyone to allow me to cover up and not confront what was really eating me inside.

Addiction is a progressive disease. Protect yourself and your belongings because as addiction progressive the addict becomes angry, sneaky, unpredicatable and manipulative. Addicts are very good at getting what they want even if it means using people, playing on their love and good intentions, and making up stories for the pitty effect.

1qaz

thanks for all the replys, i have spoken to my mother about this now and she believes that something is going on but she has said to let her handel it, to me she is doing nothing but we'll just have to wait and see. i have now set up a bank account where I keep any money and have taken the point of hiding valubals aswell. never realised that so many go through this too. also not moving away as I feel im as entitled to live here as he is. again thanks for all the support!