Drinking works for a little while
And then it doesn't.
There's a quote from Greys Anatomy that's something like "It's the high we're chasing, the high the makes everything else fade away. But eventually whatever was making us high stops feeling good and starts to hurt"
This describes pretty much every addiction out there. It feels good for a while, it makes you THINK it's helping you deal, when really it's often making things worse. It's not until you get sober that you realize how depressed drinking was making you.
I never really felt "ready" to quit. I just reached a point where I knew it wasn't a way to live anymore. I knew that if I kept going at the rate I was drinking every day, lying to everyone, spending hundreds of dollars a month on booze, missing work and class because of drinking... I'd lose everything.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It only gets worse as time goes on. Things get more and more out of control and it gets harder and harder to keep everything together.
The fact that you're posting here and recognizing you have a problem is a huge step in the right direction.
I recommend checking out an AA meeting. Maybe try and find a Newcomers meeting in your area?
I relapsed last night and only had about a month and a half sober, so there are probably people much wiser then myself. The way I handled it is by taking it one day at a time. Just not drinking for today. Going to meetings. Picking up the phone and calling a friend when I wanted to drink.
I also started running. It's helped a lot because it makes me feel really good, gives me something to accomplish and helped curb cravings.
I also was honest with the people in my life. I didn't flat out say I'm an alcoholic but I said I had a problem with alcohol and I wasn't drinking anymore. Most of the people a very much aware that I have issues with alcohol. It wasn't a secret to anyone.
People are probably more aware then you realize. Being sober I noticed how much someone who drinks a lot smells like alcohol.
Welcome to SR, keep reading and posting. You'll find a lot of great information and help here