Northwest

I have many questions, always. I come to this forum seeking answers and hopefully sharing some of mine. I have about 11 months sober. I am 25 and have been recovery minded and geared since the age of 18. Nothing ever worked until I prayed for the first time. Things changed and now I am obtaining more and more victory everyday that I abstain. Heroin was my DOC. Coffee is my new one!

Anyways, I have been struggling with trying to fit back into society. I work, I pay bills, I drive, I contribute to the world in a monetary sense. The problem I have is that I feel as though I don't fit in. I have trouble finding friends that don't drink and that don't flake off because they would rather go to the bar. It makes me feel like a dull and boring person to be honest. Life is still WAYYYY better then it was when using but I cant shake this shade of grey that I see my situation through.

I am curious if anybody has struggled with this sort of after sobriety blues and if its specific to heroin users or just in general. Any Help would be much appreciated, Thanks.

YoungAndClean

There are sober friends out there for you you just havent met them yet. Learning how to live sober can be depressing at times and when that comes take it easy and try and indulge in other pleasure giving activities. Things will get better, have you thought about going to AA you will probley meet sober young people there. Isolating is really bad for sobriety.

FreeFall

See if there are any "sober meet ups" or social groups near you. They normally do activities that don't involve drinking and would be a way to meet some new people.

sugarbear1

Narcotics anonymous Linn Benton Lincoln Oregon Area NA

Call and see if they have a young people group in the area.

Northwest

I guess I just need to get over my fear of NA and AA. I have had a few bad experiences with the meetings but I think its time I move on from that. Have any of you been to Celebrate Recovery?

hypochondriac

How were things for you before Northwest? I never really felt like I fitted into society. I realise now that I just didn't feel okay in myself. I had a lot of self doubt and always tried to do what other people expected of me, or what I thought they expected at me while at the same time seemingly being happy being an outcast. I guess what I'm asking is who's society are you trying to fit into?

Staying connected to other people is good though. Try and stick to activities which are 'safe' tho in that you won't be tempted and know you'll feel comfortable x

Delilah1

Good for you for stopping so young, I waited until 41 and wish I had the courage to stop at your age. I think trying to find groups is a great idea.

Also, not sure if you like to run, walk or bike but I met a lot of people through Team in Training when I moved to San Diego 12 years ago. We had lots of time to talk while we were training, especially since we nicknamed ourselves the turtles due to our pace!! I was in sports in high school, but had never run before and I trained for a marathon. Might be s good way to meet people your age.

Welcome to SR!!!!

Northwest

Things for me before were of course out of control. Although socially, things were a lot more exciting. I met new people and made new friends. I do miss the social aspect of it, and maybe that is a wrong frame of mind to have but I honestly feel that way. Thats the only part I miss.

I know what you mean hypo about having self doubt and consistently trying to meet others expectations. I battle those exact two issues. I am obtaining more and more victory with the expectations but the self doubt is the issue that lingers most. I know I will overcome, I know the me I want to be and I know its all possible. Having people around me along the way is a hurdle I have yet to jump over.

And thank you Delilah! I have been running for about 2 months now and absolutely LOVE It. It helps my mind frame and health quite a bit.

hypochondriac

You can meet new people and make new friends sober too. It is a weird adjustment I know, and it takes time but it is actually easier in the long run. I had to go through a lot of effort to make sure my drinking was acceptable with the people I hung out with. I still automatically hone in on the drinkers! Basically now my potential social circle has grown.

Have you looked into anything to help you with the self doubt? I have been trying Mindfulness and CBT to help with that. Just from books at the moment but it does seem to help me focus on the positive more x

Northwest

Ahhh, mindfulness. Yes it does help. Is CBT like DBT? I have been reading/listening to some stuff by Dwayne Dyer that goes along the line of positive thinking and inspiration. Good stuff. Do you have any suggestions on how to brush up on the "tools" for sobriety?