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False accusations----

Old 11-09-2012, 05:01 AM
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False accusations----

False accusations at work, regarding other people's clients wishing to see me, when their stylist is busy. The girls at work have been **** talking together and the boss confronted me yesterday, with a defensive body language from the get go. And a bunch of other nonsense bs, that honestly, is a case of false evidence appearing real on their own parts. I can just imagine them in the back room feeding off each other to create a monstrous allegation against me. Well, my boss also said well, you aren't talking to anyone around here and they are all on eggshells. I said, so I get sober and deal with my life and I am at fault for that? It was a ridiculous conversation we had, and I know she is not confrontational, so she was left feeling more awkward than me, but i did tell her I would apologize to everyone, but I am not stealing their clients, and if they choose to book with me, what am I supposed to say no? I also said that I am left feeling like I need to find another place to work, we shall see what happens regarding that. Anyways I talked with 2 of the girls and said, I apologize if you believe that situation is that I am stealing clients, but that's not the case. I also said I am going through a lot right now and that I have been sober for 38 days and attend aa 5 nights a week. I am working on me, so I am sorry if I am not caught up in the usual beauty shop drama. I felt better after talking to them, but I am still pissed. Until this point, I have worked more days and hours than the owner, and helped her out immensely, I told her yesterday that If she is a business owner then she NEEDS to handle the bad situations as well as the good, where in the past, I have handled all the bad problems, which leaves the girls pissed at me. No more. I am there to do a job, and no more. She can do it all on her own. And what's really funny, is the thing that she is pissed about, is basically good customer service. Shaking my head......

Anyways, I thanked her for the conversation, because although it was a ****** one to have, it opened my eyes a bit further. While I don't appreciate the method, I appreciate the message. Which to me is "at some point, everyone wants to f over everyone"..... I'm gonna do the next right thing, FOR ME! And today, that's walk into work with a smile on my face and rock out some awesome styles. I have put forth too much time and energy to be left feeling like a piece of crap, knowing full and well that I am not. So, on this day, I will work, go to a meeting and watch a movie tonight. Have a great day and thanks for reading.... Sorry it's all over the place, my mind is working in overdrive right now.
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Old 11-09-2012, 05:26 AM
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Thank you for posting this!! I am 17+ months sober and may possibly be given a 2-week notice by noon....

Working with people who don't like me & who have created problems...

Someone said that maybe they are intimidated by my spirituality, whatever it is, I am not taking it personally. I am alive & sober today.

Last night my laptop dinosaur died and I'm on a metro train with track problems.

Not drinking over it!
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Old 11-09-2012, 05:43 AM
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I'm glad you're doing well, and got through that.

I'm also glad that no one I work with knows about my alcoholism.
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Old 11-09-2012, 06:12 AM
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The only person I have to answer to is myself and my higher power. When I was drinking I was a liar, cheat and thief. I hated what I saw in the mirror.

Today I still have a few problems but for the most part I like what I see. When people stop drinking the dynamics change. My sponsor says, "It is none of my business what other think of me."

I know when I am doing the right thing and as long as I am doing it other peoples drama is none of my concern. It is only when I am wrong that I have to take action and try to make the situation right.
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Old 11-09-2012, 06:14 AM
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Oh falling, I have been there! Hang in there. I learned the hard way that most people can and will F**k you over, it's a fact of life. I have decided not to be one of those people, I want to be kind, not mean! I am slowly regaining some faith in mankind, but I still trust very few people at this point. I watch nurse Jackie sometimes and she said something funny once "I didn't have any problems til I got clean" LOL!!! Have a great day....you rock!
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Old 11-09-2012, 08:35 AM
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Yep def not drinking over it
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Old 11-09-2012, 03:13 PM
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as an update, I am given another week to "improve" my "therapeutic talk" with the students.... so no 2 week notice.... and I bought a cheap laptop. A new day....

Here's to hoping I keep the talk proper for the school (I think they've realized they really are making a mistake with me, it was mostly from others talking about me)

Anyway, stay strong and stay stopped! All things are possible! HP rules!!
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Old 11-09-2012, 05:01 PM
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I had a hard time understanding the block of text. I don't mean to be flippant. But things would be much easier to read with liberal application of the Enter key as you're typing, just to space things out.

I work with other people. Sometimes (well, more than sometimes) they are, well, just dead wrong. Most of the time when this happens, you need to suck it up and go with the flow. If your boss came to you, with a concern, empathy is probably a good course of action.

People who disregard the boss's feedback don't last long.

Good luck.

I edited this post to add that if you are in early sobriety you really ought to give people the benefit of the doubt. You are by definition going to be in serious chemical and emotional flux.
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Old 11-09-2012, 07:25 PM
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Funny thing...... The same situation happened in reverse today. A client was down in my book, and someone else took him, apparently, THE BOSS, booked a client with me that was to be with another person. I watched the man come in, and she asked who he was here to see and suggested another's name. He said yes, I believe that's who is m with. And the other stylist took him. I simply asked about an hour after the fact, if the man who was down with me had called and canceled or just not showed up. No one came to me and admitted their mistake, nor did I create a scene. I simply said, ok, no big deal and smiled. I refuse to get wrapped up in the petty nonsense. Point is, we are human and we make mistakes, but at the end of the day, a certain level of professionalism needs to remain. I'm going to bed happy, and very appreciative that I didn't drink over any of this. Bring on day 40.
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Old 11-10-2012, 12:23 AM
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Falling, congrats on day 40. Before I started this whole sober experience I would NEVER have thought that I'd be dealing with jealousy. But, there you have it. People agre weird! It seems like you are better at running the shoe than your boss is. And your skills are a point of jealousy amongst your colleagues.

I see you running your own salon in a few years time? Sounds like you've got what it takes and you are focused on customer services, which is where a lot of salons can let themselves down.

Well done for being calm about the whole thing. Sobriety is like someone turned the spotlight on others behaviours as well as your own.

S x
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Old 11-10-2012, 04:28 AM
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Thanks sazzle! The owner/boss and I have ha many conversations about me buying it from her. Shall see where that goes in the future. We are very close, that's what disappoints me so much, and I told her that. I also told the girls to please come to me if they have an issue with someone in my book or in my chair, I absolutwly will not consider confrontational. 40 days of sobriety and life is showing up.
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Old 11-10-2012, 05:05 AM
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fallingtogether, you inspire me, thank you very much!

Have a fabulous sober Saturday!
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Old 11-10-2012, 06:45 AM
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Sounds like a sucky situation. I hate having to deal with confrontation of any kind, but that kind really makes me want to duck and run.

Thing is, that even though in recovery we feel bright and shiny and want people to appreciate that we are doing something noble and difficult and be understanding, sometimes we fail to remember that they are going through crap of their own, often that we know NOTHING about.

99% of the choices others make and the things they do have nothing to do with us, it's about them, doing what they need to do for their own reasons.

They are usually less interested in screwing us over, and more interested in saving their own butt.

I just am not that important to most people for them to put effort or energy into worrying about me one way or another.

Even when we aren't aware of it, everyone is fighting their own battles. Just like we are. I try to cut them some slack, and in doing so realize I am giving myself a break as well.
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Old 11-10-2012, 07:16 AM
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I also keep my work and my personal life separate and private. People don't always understand and really can turn it around and make life more difficult for you.

I dont think its a great idea to share too openly in the workplace. I hope things work out for you, be careful.
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Old 11-10-2012, 08:20 AM
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Hp

Originally Posted by sugarbear1 View Post
as an update, I am given another week to "improve" my "therapeutic talk" with the students.... so no 2 week notice.... and I bought a cheap laptop. A new day....

Here's to hoping I keep the talk proper for the school (I think they've realized they really are making a mistake with me, it was mostly from others talking about me)

Anyway, stay strong and stay stopped! All things are possible! HP rules!!

Sugar,
Had to laugh, at first I though HP referred to a Hewlett Packard - new lap top!! LOL
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Old 11-10-2012, 11:19 AM
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that's funny!

I got a lenevo, but this keyboard is possessed! (I'm trying to figure out what I am doing wrong....of course, it's me, it's not a sensitive keyboard or whacked laptop....)
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