choublak

By learning and accepting who you are, you quit listening to other people trying to tell you who or what you are.

Sazzle

Endless I was confronted by a man in my 2nd meeting. He said I didn't look like an alcoholic and asked if I knew what one was. He obviously had his own views. But I ignored him and returned. If it had been my 1st meeting I'd have been put off.

Not everyone at AA is nice and good. Everyone in the room is sick. I've since learnt from talking to others after that meeting a f at my home meeting that the guy is a douchbag.

I encourage Chef to go back and find a home group he gels with, but indi think its a little harsh questioning what he was told 10 years ago when the exact same thing happened to me 2 weeks ago.

Chef, you're right to be cautious over what you tell people. Words can hurt. I was advised to remember that everyone is sick and you must take the good advice and drop the bad!

Don't give that experience any more airtime, start your new AA story without prejudice.

Good luck

S x

YVRguy

Hey thewastedchef

I lost the wife and the kids before I got a plan and a program and took it seriously and started doing the work.

I went back to AA as even just going to meetings in the past had helped me stay sober a while. You may find going back a good start or look at other methods and programs but you probably need a plan and I found it impossible to get sober without a program of face to face support , but that's me.

Now I tried AA two years ago by just going to meetings for a few months but not doing much else. I admired the steps and traditions but I did not do 90 meetings in 90 days let alone any serious step work. Then I started going less and soon I was out on my own and my sobriety vanished very quickly. I had all sorts of reasons not to drink but I drank. Its the insanity of the whole thing. I knew it was destroying me and I fought it , and kept losing to the bottle.

This time back to AA I was in all the way , 90 in 90 , got a sponsor and got on the step work. After several horrible sprees and withdrawals I was licked and came to SR and then to AA as my choices to gain some sanity and sobriety. It meant changes and I truly believe the saying " If nothing changes , nothing changes". I had to put sobriety as priority one as I had sure put drinking as priority one for decades. If you look at the effort , time , money and the rest you put into drinking , AA or any program is a lot simpler and a lot less time but not as easy as downing a bottle. I have yet to get a hangover , regret what I did or said , lose a pile of money , or a hundred other bad things from an AA meeting.

90 meetings in 90 days isn't actually all that much to do to give AA a fair shot. If AA isn't your things check out the other programs as they have helped people get sober too. I took the 90 meetings in 90 days offer and I won't need my misery refunded as I feel free of the obsession to drink.

recoverytime

Hi Chef,

Welcome to SR. I can completely identify with your story and have been in similar situations myself after drinking/using. It's terrifying I know. I very nearly lost everything but I had to make a decision that I would never use or drink again. I was ready to go to any lengths to do this although I wasn't entirely sure how to go about it. I then found AA/CA and the wonderful people in those rooms told me the truth about myself as I was at a point where I didn't know what was real and what was fantasy created by my ego and my distorted brain. I was a pest to society and I was angry and frightened.

It took me a while to get my head around the program, but when I did my life started improving immediately. By working the steps and doing my daily suggestions I have 35 days behind me. I no longer obsess about drinking or using and very slowly I am getting my sanity back.

I quickly realised that my drinking and drugging were merely symptoms of the main problem which was me. I am still doing my 90 meetings in 90 days and although it seemed like a big amount of meetings I knew that I had done more than 90 use ups in 90 days so it was no brainer and I am able to look at it one day at a time so it doesn't get overwhelming. Hell, I pretty much live hour to hour at the moment, but that's OK.

I am not saying it was easy to get to the point of surrender. I was battered and a physical and emotional wreck by the time I did it, but once I had things got better very quickly.

I am not telling you what to do, but the 12 step program is a very simple program although my head really likes to make it complicated. It's free and it allows me to be myself without fear of judgement.

instant

Glad you are here. You are in the right place. Let's not forget it is an addiction, and breaking free can be hard. This is going to test you.

The struggle can be over if you surrender unconditionally, and just take what comes.

My thoughts are with you.

ru12

Hi,

It sounds like you tried AA and for whatever reason it might not be a good fit for you. That is fine. There are many ways to stop drinking: AA, Rational Recovery and AVRT, SMART Recovery, Alan Carr's Easy Way, to name a few.

There is nothing in that bottle that is going to make your life wonderful. You could find new levels of pain, embarrassment and suffering though. The first step to your new life is to put the stuff down and NEVER pick it up again. I've been not picking up for close to two years and my life is so much better.

The evening you described in your first post was frightening to me just reading it. You never have to go there again.

Veritas1

I keep hearing AA speakers, like the link I gave you for Sandy B., who talk about their sponsors.

How they turned to an AA sponsor for help, when their ideas were not working.

Turning to someone for help when our ideas are failing is a good idea.

No need to try this alone.

Each failure helps us to see how much we need help.

Seek help from others.

You said you are willing to go back to AA.

Go...

Reach out, and create support. Get some telephone numbers and call.

Listen to AA speakers.

Read your book.

Pray