One week sober today
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Bisbee az
Posts: 11
One week sober today
I am a heavy drinker, have been for about seven years now, since I entered high school. I do other stuff on occasion. Coke, weed, xanax. But my problem is definitely alcohol. I've tried to quit off and on for a few years, since a really destructive/controlling relationship really kicked up my drinking.
Enough about my past. I was doing really strong all week. I felt good, strong, and like I was going to succeed. Tonight... I freaked out. I'm in a pretty unstable relationship.. Saw him facebooking some girl, and flipped. I started shaking, semi anxiety attack.. It took a phone call from a good friend, writing, and a run to calm me down and keep me from driving to the bar.
I drink to cope with my problems, I feel like I am alone in the world aside from my mom. I drink to deal with really bad social anxiety and the feeling of constantly being judged and watched. I was homeschooled until the age of thirteen. my crucial socialization years were spent in church, with one or two friends my age a year. When I got to high school, it was so overwhelming and terrifying I was a loner. I cut myself, kept to myself and really close friends, and was considered either shy or stuck up. I finally fit in with a group of stoners. Thats around when I started drinking. That is where I met the first love of my life.. Who I later introduced to coke. He killed himself shortly after.
I realize I may need some help with this. My only sober friends live two hours away. My other friends have completely cut off contact with me since I stopped drinking. I work in a restaurant. We are rewarded with after shift drinks. Everyone goes out together to bond. My entire town revolves around the bar scene. Exercise has been my only escape. I literally would have nothing else to do now. Oh and I started going to school.
I'm tired of using alcohol as a crutch. I want to be able to walk into a room of people without having to take a shot first.
No idea how this forum works. Advice and encouragement are really appreciated!
Enough about my past. I was doing really strong all week. I felt good, strong, and like I was going to succeed. Tonight... I freaked out. I'm in a pretty unstable relationship.. Saw him facebooking some girl, and flipped. I started shaking, semi anxiety attack.. It took a phone call from a good friend, writing, and a run to calm me down and keep me from driving to the bar.
I drink to cope with my problems, I feel like I am alone in the world aside from my mom. I drink to deal with really bad social anxiety and the feeling of constantly being judged and watched. I was homeschooled until the age of thirteen. my crucial socialization years were spent in church, with one or two friends my age a year. When I got to high school, it was so overwhelming and terrifying I was a loner. I cut myself, kept to myself and really close friends, and was considered either shy or stuck up. I finally fit in with a group of stoners. Thats around when I started drinking. That is where I met the first love of my life.. Who I later introduced to coke. He killed himself shortly after.
I realize I may need some help with this. My only sober friends live two hours away. My other friends have completely cut off contact with me since I stopped drinking. I work in a restaurant. We are rewarded with after shift drinks. Everyone goes out together to bond. My entire town revolves around the bar scene. Exercise has been my only escape. I literally would have nothing else to do now. Oh and I started going to school.
I'm tired of using alcohol as a crutch. I want to be able to walk into a room of people without having to take a shot first.
No idea how this forum works. Advice and encouragement are really appreciated!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
Hi and welcome hcantral 
if there's one thing I've learned, it's that drinking can't make unstable relationships any more stable, I'm afraid.
You'll find a lot of sober support and encouragement here
D
if there's one thing I've learned, it's that drinking can't make unstable relationships any more stable, I'm afraid.
You'll find a lot of sober support and encouragement here
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 16
i'm a newcomer, too. so i understand the next to reach out with support at this time. i tend to isolate, which probably doesn't help. good for you for staying away from the bar!! sidenote: my boyfriend and i don't access to each other's Facebook pages. that may be part of the reason we've been together for eleven years (today is our anniversary!) with each other's help and support, i know we can do this!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Bisbee az
Posts: 11
I actually have heard of a lot of couples doing that. I'm not so sure I could handle not being able to look at his facebook. I'm a ridiculously jealous person. I'm always certain I'm being cheated on or lied to in some way. I hate that part of me as well. Another thing that drinking calms down!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Owatonna, MN
Posts: 6
good for you for reaching out!.. im still fairly new to recovery but i as well know when it's a good time to reach out. i'm from a small town of a thousand people with five bars. drinking is the lifestyle there. i was lucky enough to move out of there however to a larger town with meetings every day and plenty of sober people. may be extreme.. but sometimes we need to take extreme measures to get the results we are searching for. i wish you the best of luck!
much love- jess
much love- jess
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