myoldself

I feel like I'm going crazy..really, I do. Married husband #2 8 yrs ago...he drank and continues to drink 3-4 high balls and then 1/2 to 1 bottle of wine 7 nights a week w/o fail..has been drinking since 17 and is now 59. He was raised in a family of highly functioning drinkers such as him. I am 56 raised to not curse, no drinking,etc..although I married at 26 and it lasted 20 yrs and we only had a drink if we went out to eat which was not often at all..if I had half a dozen drinks in a year that would have been a big woo hoo! So I started drinking with my new husband..no mixed drinks for me but 3-4 glass of wine 7 days (evenings only) a week. Lots of stuff in between but as of May 2012 I decided I needed to stop..not a little..completely which I have done. The reason I stopped was our constant arguing, the damage it was doing to me physically and emotionally plus the fact that someone has to grow up in the partnership and since he refuses then it had to be me. I am very proud of myself. He decided a month ago to cut back while he's home (he travels quite a bit for work) but explained that he WILL drink when he's traveling. Well, his not drinking at home lasted about two days and now it's slowly starting up again..everything's my fault, I feel like now that I'm clear headed and not drinking I'm talking to a lunatic..am I crazy?

MIRecovery

You most definately are not crazy. You are seeing life the way it is not through the filter of alcohol goggels. You may wish to go to Alanon to get some ideas on how to deal with your situation

myoldself

i've thought about that but i'm only a short time sober myself and although I'm rarely tempted I did fight a good fight over a bottle of white wine in our wine rack a few weeks ago...I didn't open it but it was difficult but really other than the first 30 days I've not been too tempted. I guess I'm still ashamed of myself for my drinking in the past...I guess what I'm asking is would I "fit" at Al Anon??? I guess too sometimes I feel bad judging him when I'm so new to sobriety myself if that makes sense.

MIRecovery

You would fit just fine in both programs. AA and Alanon. Both programs are not about him they about you getting better

myoldself

understood..thank you. I am definately in the trap of always trying to fix BOTH of us...always the one researching for marital help, help drinking,etc...he could care less..how sad but I get what you mean.