Sueski

Amanda, I'm so sorry. That is Diesel in the picture, right? Beautiful.

You were with her all the way, and gave her the kindest gift of all - release from her pain. If there is a heaven, I believe that she's there. Please be as kind to yourself as you would to her as you adjust to her loss. Take care of yourself. If you use, the pain of losing Diesel will still be there afterward plus all the other crap. With this kind of pain, the only way out is through. It's awful but there it is. But you CAN do this.

And wpainterw is right - when you are ready, there is another wonderful dog out there for you. Sending warm hugs and comfort your way...