Switch

It's my first morning without a hangover in I can't remember how long, and it feels good!

I didn't experience the nasty withdrawal symptoms I'd read about, perhaps I wasn't drinking enough to stuff my body chemistry up that much? I went to bed with a headache but that was probably from staring at the laptop screen too much (I need new reading glasses), and I was thirsty most of the evening. I had a minor anxiety attack but that was from reading about the withdrawal symptoms. It took me a long time to get to sleep as my mind was racing, but that was normal for me pre-alcohol, I need to find a non-drug way to slow down at nights.

I have always drank 2-3 litres of water a day, and have been taking a vitamin B supplement with a glass of fresh OJ every morning for some months now. I ate a healthy meal last night, drank more water and OJ, had a protein shake before bed, but importantly immersed myself in Allen Carr's Easyway book - I'm halfway through it but I really think that is going to be a huge help in staying sober long term - thanks for the referral Hypochondriac ;-)

Thanks to everyone for all the posts of support and encouragement :-)

Delilah1

Welcome Swith!

Like you, I would pick up a bottle (and not a small one!) of wine on my way home from work. I am on Day 27 and have refocused my energy to exercise, time with my kids and reading.

This site is a great support. I too was an exercise fanatic, and I have lost 9.5 pounds since stopping by just getting back into my regular routine, continuing to eat healthy and cutting out probably 1000-1500 calories of wine a day!!!

I too worry about the holidays, but know that I will not just have one glass. Keep reading and posting, there are great people here.

Switch

Alcohol free yesterday evening/night as well, so onto day 3 now. Been feeling great, more energy, clearer thinking, vision has improved, this is how I want to live. However...

It's Friday night and my girlfriend wants me to come over to her house for dinner. I know there will be a bottle of wine there for dinner and a bottle of scotch for later.... I should just say no but I won't be able to. If I have a few drinks I reckon I'll fall back into drinking again.

My main problem is I do actually want to have a few drinks, it's a routine Friday night thing, but that means I don't have my head in the right place - I should know better and not have any desire to drink at all, as I know what it does to me and all the bad things about it (Allen Carr's book has helped me there, but I'm only 2/3 of the way through it). How do you deal with this sort of thing? I can't just ignore my girlfriend until I'm solid enough in my no-alcohol beliefs (can I?).

hypochondriac

Well I think all of us at some point go through a point of wanting to drink but don't so it is possible. It takes practice, you have to force yourself at first and it gets easier with time. You just need to remind yourself of the reasons why you don't want to drink.

You have told your girlfriend you're quitting right? Could you ask her not to have wine there? If you don't feel up to it is totally acceptable to say no for now. I am sure she would understand x

Switch

I changed the plans so we had a bbq at my place instead, so all is good. I had previously told her I was giving up drinking but I don't think she took me seriously. I hope she does now, as that will make it much easier.

I need to finish that book.

Switch

Monday morning after my first alcohol free weekend for years - it's so good not be hungover at work!

I am surprised how easy it has been so far. I've finished Allen Carr's book and I believe that has made a change in my attitude to alcohol, which has made the process easier. I no longer see it as something to help me get through my issues in life, rather as the cause of many of them.

I still need to read it again though, as I'm worried about an upcoming awards night I need to attend. While I don't want to drink I am concerned I will have a few wines to fit in with the crowd, I've always been a bit too conscious of other peoples opinion of me.

I guess this stems from my teen years - where I grew up it was a badge of honour to drink yourself into a stupor and throw up, then keep drinking. I was never any good at it, and looking back my life would have been so much different if I had grown up in a different peer group, or just knew what I know now (not that I would have listened to reason). All the stupid, embarrassing, hurtful, dangerous things I have done were a result of alcohol, and a number of good relationships failed because I was an idiot when drinking (not violent, just made a fool of myself and those with me).

So, I am well on my way. I regard myself as a non-drinker now. Not as an ex-alcoholic, or a recovering alcoholic, simply a rational person who understands the dangers of alcohol and chooses to avoid it and all it's negatives. Allen Carr's book has helped me change my life, I highly recommend it. Although I found his writing style a bit hard to keep reading at times, the message is worth it.

It's only been less than a week I know, and there are probably experienced people reading this thinking they've heard this before, but I am confident this is my future. :-)

Hevyn

Hi Switch. It's wonderful to hear the good news. Your life will keep on improving. You didn't need that poison after all.

Switch

Just a quick post to let everyone know I'm still going strong.

Day 9, and just passed my first payday - normally that's a cause to go out and buy a bottle or 3, but it never even crossed my mind, didn't realise that until this morning actually. I'm looking forward to saving the $150 a week or so I was spending on scotch and wine! (No wonder I have a credit card problem).

Still haven't been in a social situation to really test out my resolve, but I'm confident I have the right frame of mind now...

hypochondriac

Glad you're doing so well Switch!

Don't worry about the whole fitting in with the crowd thing either. So many people said on here 'No one cares if you are drinking or not' and it's actually true. I didn't believe it at first. I thought everyone thought I was boring and actually wanted me to drink. Sometimes I thought it was a conspiracy and they were all out to get me and pour alcohol down my throat. Turns out I was being melodramatic I projected all my fears onto everyone else. Even people who seemingly take the mick for you not drinking still don't actually care if you drink or not. Only your feelings matter on this and you will get more confident as time goes on x

Delilah1

Good for you Switch! One of the first things I did 34 days ago was make a list of all of my debt and a plan for paying it off. I am also putting money in an envelope to save for a trip with the family this summer. All of my alcohol money is going in that envelope.

Sounds like things are going well. Keep up the great work!!!

Switch

6 months since my last post - no doubt you can guess why...

back here again, with the words of those telling me moderation is not an option ringing true. Thanks for the advice, sorry I didn't listen. After a couple of functions with alcohol I slipped straight back into my old pattern, as if those Alcohol free days never happened.

I am going to beat this addiction, change my mind-set and become a non-drinker.

I've realised I have a few other things I need to deal with in my life that I was (not) dealing with by becoming comatose every night. I am going to learn how to deal with them with a clear mind and clean body. Alcohol actually compounded the problems, they didn't go away just because I was drunk every night (stating the obvious I know).

So, onwards and upwards....

suzi_Q

Hi Switch, I hear you buddy! I have been on the merry go round for years. Now I have set the goal of one day at a time, and am seeking help from my GP as well as counselling. I kept telling myself that I could control my drinking as on some days I really could! But drinking alone was when I had no control or stop switch I could flick. Day four for me, taking Antabuse, so luckily for me the choice of drinking has been taken away from me while I work on myself and find a better way of controlling my anxiety and building my self esteem! You have come to a great support network here at SR. Best of luck.

Mdub

Switch, Switch, Switch. So many of us have walked your path. I HATE when people tell me this, but you might need to find your way to a meeting (AA, SMART, etc.). Sounds like you are just like me. The switch (punny) is on or off. There is a chance that you are like me and many others. I can not drink at all. When I do, my life falls apart. And I had to pay some hard debts to learn that. Here's where you can benefit. Don't make yourself go through the hell. Get a handle on it now. Save yourself the heartache. Quit totally and for good !! Do it ! You can. It is NOT easy. It IS simple, but not easy. Good luck. I'll be checking into this thread. Good luck !!

fantail

Wow! This thread just made my head spin. I could have written your first few posts last July and your post today in February. Right down to the crazy recovery calendar involving working on my Spanish! And I actually have an email thread saved with a friend telling me the same thing the people here told you. It really is crazy to me how this thing is so similar for all of us.

But yeah, I quit for like 10 days in July, after which point I was so proud that I let myself drink again, and about six months later I was a mess again.

I stuck this in my wallet when I tried again:

"If they do stop, out of fear or whatever, they go at once into such a state of euphoria and well-being that they become over-confident. They're rid of drink, and feel sure enough of themselves to start again, promising they'll take one, at the most two, and — well, then it becomes the same old story." -- The Lost Weekend, published 1944

I pull it out to remind myself that someone described my habits 40 years before I was born, so there it is. It confuses me that I have so much in common with everyone else who has this problem, but it helps me to detach a bit and let recovery happen. It lets me not get so caught up in judging myself and worrying about other peoples' perspectives. I guess being a young woman I've always planned on spending either 9 or 18 months of my life pregnant, so this feels like a similar form of acceptance. Not that great but no point railing against it, it's not a negotiable process if you want the end result.

Trying to moderate was actually really important, because it taught me I can't. It embarrassed my pride. But I'm getting close to 90 days now and finding it so, so much easier to keep going because I remember failing the last time.

Anyway welcome back to round 2! You've got this!

Switch

Thanks for the support, it means a lot - I have no-one to confide in on this particular problem in my life.

I have no desire for a drink at all right now, same as last time I quit, and the times before that. Right now I loathe the stuff and never want another drink in my life, because of what it does to me and my family. It's easy, really, I just don't drink, I go to the gym, enjoy the clean life, focus on a healthy and alcohol free future with a smile in my heart....

then I get lazy and think "hey, I know I can go without, I'll have a couple of wines with my family/friends over dinner, then go back to not drinking, what's the harm?"

of course everyone knows what happens next....

I'm not sure I can do the AA thing, I'm not one to open up easily. Then when I do I get overly emotional.

I think I'll visit a local doctor and ask if there's anything they can do to help. I'm taking B1 and multi-vitamin supplements and eating a clean high protein diet but perhaps they will do some blood work to see what's happening in there.

I only had 2 drinks last night so went to bed sober, but I'm counting today as day 1. It's 77 days to my 46th birthday, so that's my first goal. I'm going to put the money I would have spent on alcohol into a savings account and buy myself a nice present when I make it there alcohol free.

Dee74

Welcome back switch

D

Switch

speechless.....

Switch

Afternoon of day 3, it's Friday and about an hour from knock off, and I had this sudden desire to get a couple of bottles of wine on the way home and spend the night with the tv and the couch... I've been doing really well, where did that come from?

I dismissed it easy enough, wrote it in my journal (which I started on day 1 and think will be very helpful later on), then spent a couple of minutes with my eyes closed building my mental vision of life without alcohol (until the phone rang). All good now :-) Writing about it here helps a lot too...

I've booked a GP appointment for next week to get a referral to a cognitive behavioral therapist, I think that will help me work on the underlying causes of my alcohol abuse. Will also get some blood tests done to see if the drinking has done any damage.

This forum is awesome, I spent a couple of hours reading here last night...

Dee74

good for you for not giving in to the impulse, switch

D

DisplacedGRITS

Journaling is good. When i start to get mopey or disgruntled, i make a gratitude list. I search my heart for what i'm honestly grateful for at that moment. Even the little things help to erase the negative state of mind i put myself in. Sometimes, it's something as small as "i don't have any unexplained bruises" lol. Good on you for not giving into that sinister voice. Keep coming back here.