bellee

I am a new addition to al anon and acoa. Both of my parents are recovering for 25 years. i joined this to better understand someone I began dating, even though i have been fearful to ooen up. When he told me he was recovering and he felt it would be good to examine the root of my dating anxiety and possible link to my childhood, I thought I actually had someone patient enough to support me in my journey. Instead, he kept taking my inventory, suggesting/mandating steps I needed to take then ignoring when I was anxious or felt like a low priority in his time. I was. Last night, after a weekend of no return of texts, missed calls when I told him I was unavailable, an extremely anxious and emotional week at work, and just plain feeling like I have been trying to get to know someone who thinks he is my counselor, he called and broke it off. Telling me he can't handle/process and respond to texts. He said I need to work harder on my sickness... I lost it. How does someone lead you into this journey of self help, tell you he wants to be there for you, keep talking about wanting to get to know you, you tell him you are dealing with a lot and please be patient, plus he knows you are affected by someone else's alcoholism and you are trying so hard to understand him and his confusing behavior.... I am devastated. It was not a long relationship but intense. He put everything over making time for me a priority. I figured it was too early to expect more. Then he ignores me asking when will we get together. Well, now I get dumped. What is anyone's advice? I will continue acoa but this sours my view of using AA to judge someone. He used it through out the dumping process saying I don't realuze I am "sick". Or I don't know what I am talking about. I should mention my parents fully involved me in their recovery and we talk about it all the time.

Dee74

Hi Bellee

I'm not trying to be flippant but it sounds like to me, you might be better off without this guy.

I wouldn't blame AA either - I'm not a member, but it sounds to me like this guy has some serious control issues.

D