New to the forum and recovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Sittingbourne, Kent
Posts: 23
New to the forum and recovery
Hi everyone,
I am an addict and an alcoholic.
So I am new to this forum and new to recovery. Well I say new...but I have been trying to get sober since September. It will be 30 days on Monday so I am very happy about that. Getting sober was hard, but the last 30 days have been amazing, but now I am just trying to work out the feelings I have managed to hide for the last 20 years. It's not easy and I have to work 1 hour at a time as my crazy mind likes to take to places I didn't even know existed.
I am pleased I have found this forum as I need all the support I can get from other recovering addicts both in my home group of CA and beyond.
That's all I have to say for now, but I look forward to talking to you all.
Thanks
RT
I am an addict and an alcoholic.
So I am new to this forum and new to recovery. Well I say new...but I have been trying to get sober since September. It will be 30 days on Monday so I am very happy about that. Getting sober was hard, but the last 30 days have been amazing, but now I am just trying to work out the feelings I have managed to hide for the last 20 years. It's not easy and I have to work 1 hour at a time as my crazy mind likes to take to places I didn't even know existed.
I am pleased I have found this forum as I need all the support I can get from other recovering addicts both in my home group of CA and beyond.
That's all I have to say for now, but I look forward to talking to you all.
Thanks
RT
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Sittingbourne, Kent
Posts: 23
Hi Rosie,
Wow 6 years. That amazing, well done. I have to work 1 hour at a time with the way I feel and conduct myself. I have realised that I am selfish and self-centred to the core and my god trying to be honest is a struggle. Now I am not blocking myself out with sunstances and alcohol I can see my behaviour for what it is. I just lie to people about the silliest things. It's frustrating, if I work within the hour I can review what I have said and done and correct it. It's difficult, but it is getting easier.
I have become so used to lying that I do it without thinking about. But having this awareness is amazing and means I can do something to change one day at a time. My obsession to use or drink has gone with the exception of fleeting thoughts which for today or for this hour I can manage.
I guess many people can empathise with this...
Wow 6 years. That amazing, well done. I have to work 1 hour at a time with the way I feel and conduct myself. I have realised that I am selfish and self-centred to the core and my god trying to be honest is a struggle. Now I am not blocking myself out with sunstances and alcohol I can see my behaviour for what it is. I just lie to people about the silliest things. It's frustrating, if I work within the hour I can review what I have said and done and correct it. It's difficult, but it is getting easier.
I have become so used to lying that I do it without thinking about. But having this awareness is amazing and means I can do something to change one day at a time. My obsession to use or drink has gone with the exception of fleeting thoughts which for today or for this hour I can manage.
I guess many people can empathise with this...
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
Hi recoverytime - we're so happy you've joined us.
30 days is great. You'll continue to feel better each day.
I know what you mean about the feelings you've numbed with alcohol. Be kind to yourself as you heal - you will sort everything out and put things in perspective. Try not to allow guilt or remorse to set you back. It's not bad to remember where you've come from, but don't be overwhelmed with negativity. This is a great place to talk things out!
30 days is great. You'll continue to feel better each day.
I know what you mean about the feelings you've numbed with alcohol. Be kind to yourself as you heal - you will sort everything out and put things in perspective. Try not to allow guilt or remorse to set you back. It's not bad to remember where you've come from, but don't be overwhelmed with negativity. This is a great place to talk things out!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 134
I'm new here as well. On my 5th day so far after finally admitting to my family my problem, probably the hardest but smartest thing I could have done!! They've been so supportive it's great
-still not feeling great, but whatever, I'm hanging in there. Will continue to post here, seems like a great site!!
-still not feeling great, but whatever, I'm hanging in there. Will continue to post here, seems like a great site!!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,473
I used to lie about everything too, for no particular reason. Like you, I had to be conscious of everything I said and did and work on myself. I very much relate to trying to deal with each hour, each day, with what seemed like little experience. 
But, it's so worth it and you sound like you're doing well. There is lots of support here, so keep reading and posting.
But, it's so worth it and you sound like you're doing well. There is lots of support here, so keep reading and posting.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Sittingbourne, Kent
Posts: 23
Hey Twenties,
5 days is great and I totally know what you mean about telling my loved ones. They all reacted in hugely different ways and at first I went down my normal route of trying to control the reactions in some and feeling resentful when I couldn't. I actually felt that my partner should be pitying me, even though I had spent all of our savings and had been deceitful, dishonest and completely selfish for some, OK not some, all of our relationship. But the dust has settled and 'coming out' as an addict and alcoholic is the single best thing I have done. I don't have to lie anymore (although i do, as i said for no particular reason) and I can be myself, even though that is painful at times. Lastly I worry less about what people think about me although this is a work in progress.
It's the foundation for my recovery and I just know that I have so much good stuff in store, no matter what life throws at me. I have a new found faith that everything is going to be OK and by handing my days over to my HP (even though I don't what is, I just know I am completely powerless) I will be OK. God as I understand will take care of it.
Thanks a million to Anna, Heath and everyone else, just being on this forum has increased my joyousness and sense of freedom for today.
5 days is great and I totally know what you mean about telling my loved ones. They all reacted in hugely different ways and at first I went down my normal route of trying to control the reactions in some and feeling resentful when I couldn't. I actually felt that my partner should be pitying me, even though I had spent all of our savings and had been deceitful, dishonest and completely selfish for some, OK not some, all of our relationship. But the dust has settled and 'coming out' as an addict and alcoholic is the single best thing I have done. I don't have to lie anymore (although i do, as i said for no particular reason) and I can be myself, even though that is painful at times. Lastly I worry less about what people think about me although this is a work in progress.
It's the foundation for my recovery and I just know that I have so much good stuff in store, no matter what life throws at me. I have a new found faith that everything is going to be OK and by handing my days over to my HP (even though I don't what is, I just know I am completely powerless) I will be OK. God as I understand will take care of it.
Thanks a million to Anna, Heath and everyone else, just being on this forum has increased my joyousness and sense of freedom for today.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
