Over-analyzing recovery
 

I thought of something recently; Kindof like how I tend to over-analyze my drug/alcohol use, I think I do the same with recovery. Like constantly researching different methods of recovery, and every thought has to do with getting better, yet I feel like through all of that I put this enormous amount of pressure on myself making it even more difficult to stay clean.

What I've been doing the past few days is just taking it easy.. Not thinking too much about recovery, doing different healthy activities to keep my mind focused off of using, and just reminding myself every so often to make the next right decision. A lot of people say it's nessecary to keep recovery as your number one, but I feel like when I focus on it that much I don't have time to enjoy it..

Anyone else ever feel the same?

I know I spend a lot of time thinking about not drinking, and I am still obsessed with counting days, I am only on Day 24 and I hope that gradually this will just become part of who I am, rather than what I am working so hard on.

I think focusing on making healthy choices and staying in the moment sounds good Jakec.
:)

My husband always tells me that I make it so much more complicated than it really is. He has no issues with substance abuse so in some ways he has no idea of my perspective, but in other ways he is so right. Just don't drink! He tends to think my alcohol problem was merely situational as it reared it's ugly head when I was unemployed for 2 1/2 years and bored out of my mind. I prefer to reject this thinking as I see it only as a conduit to try alcohol again now that I'm employed and happy.Keeping it complicated does make it more taboo and I think that helps me stay sober.

ugh, me too! just remember, we only have right now, because it's always now! so as long as we're sober right now, that's all that matters.

That's interesting....I don't know if I over analyzed it...Or just put everything I had into it...To start. I drank a long time...35 years that got progressively worse as promised..When I got to the point I couldn't live like that anymore...I had no choice but to throw all I had into recovery....I worked on it like I drank...Hard. I look at it like I invested my first six months into saving my life. I use AA simply because it's the program my rehab recommended and it's the one I've seen with the most success....No other reason.
They told me to do 90 meetings in 90 days....I did over 180...i got a sponsor...As suggested to take me through the steps...And did the steps...Within the 90 days. I continued to attend one meeting a day till I got to six months....By then my recovery program had taken shape...I had a simple recovery program to live by...My obsession with alcohol no longer existed for me...And I had an incredible support network that are now close friends....Most important for me...I have a purpose in life now...I can be useful. I can help someone that suffers like I did. What a gift.
I get to a few meetings a week now...Because I really do enjoy them...But better yet....I'm enjoying being sober. I just got to 16 months sober...But I understand now how that early investment pays off...And how my AA friends have reached so many sober years.....Maybe I didn't over analyze it....Maybe I just learned to simplify it.

I sooooo get you!..I concentrate so hard on it to where I feel tense. I feel like if I dont have it on my mind all the time..that somehow I am not doing my part and somehow this will mess up my recovery. I have always over analyzed everything though..its kinda just in me. I have to just step back for a bit and focus on something else..even if its as simple as playing a game with my kids for a few hours. Keep it simple....YEA RIGHT when I master that..I will be sure to let you know.

You have to create a balance between your 'normal' life and your recovery life. I went from one extreme to the other. I didn't do enough recovery and focused too much on life and it went badly. But then I got really dedicated to my recovery and I found that life and recovery became intertwined and that's the balance I am at today. It is possible to burn yourself out with too much recovery and IMO it's the same as not having any recovery.

Jake, I get what you're saying, and I fully agree that enjoying recovery is so very important.

I made recovery my priority, BUT I incorporated it into my everyday life. I knew that I needed balance. So, I started walking each day, which was about recovery, but so enjoyable on many levels. I started reading books on spirituality, again about recovery, but the books were so uplifting and inspirational to me. And, I started to keep a Gratitude Journal to help my mental health, again about recovery, but it simply felt like taking care of myself. I felt like a person with a balanced and centered life, not like someone who was obsessing about recovery.

I'm with you Jake, all I feel like I do is research recovery stuff and read anything I can! I make myself take a break, I have too!

So true...I think most addicts are extremists in everything they do. I know I am. Balance is crucial. I hope I find my healthy balance.

Argh, yes! But then it is a difficult balance to find. I tend to over analyse things a lot but keeping a track on my thought processes is what's keeping me sober. I definitely put too much pressure on myself by thinking I should be further along than I am. But who knows where I should be? I'm learning to let go a bit now and not be too tough on myself but I still think I need to be really vigilant. It is amazing how easy and quick it is to revert back to old ways of thinking. That said, distraction is a totally viable option. Sometimes it hurts my brain to think about certain things too long, so it's best to watch some trashy tv and forget about it :) x

Balance is the hardest thing, I'm not there yet.
I never do anything by halves, I guess that's why I became an alcoholic!
I'm working hard at my recovery because without being sober, I have nothing.
Balance will come in time, but until then my focus has to be on recovery. No 2 ways about it x

I've always taken my freedom from addiction seriously, but part of taking it seriously means (for me) that it can't be my whole life. To me, the point of living a life free of addiction is to have...well...a LIFE, which for me means a balance of things. At the start I did need to put more time and effort into simply learning how to live without booze; it was such a strange thing at first! But over time my lens got broader. For me the process was fairly natural. If you are having the same experience, my suggestion would be not to fear it. Living a full life is a reward of recovery, not something to be afraid of.

I am feeling ya..lol

At first recovery was my main and sometimes my only focus. It may be what I need at the time, but as I became stable in my addiction recovery, I shifted my focus to an overall wellness program. I now balance my time and efforts across a wide variety of healthy activities. In a way, all my activities are recovery based in some way or another. That being I can not ingest any ethanol beverages and live the life I have now and that life is http://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/co...smiley-019.gif awesome compared to a low-some http://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/fr...smiley-013.gif dope freak barely serving to live.

I can definitely relate. I feel like I need a break from recovering lol I'm finding I'm spending less time on SR too, because it's draining me mentally. Trying just to exist without booze, focusing on work and other stuff, and keep it simple. It's confusing because on one hand SR is what got the ball rolling and is keeping it rolling, but sometimes it wears me out realizing how many people are struggling with this. It seems overwhelming that we all have to deal with this on a constant basis.

I think for a period of time there is "driven" thinking that goes on. I think it is part of the withdrawal process in the thinking / emotional biological systems. There was a compulsive nature to all my alcohol related thinking- that got turned into Not-drinking compulsive thinking. It all settles down in time- now I am 17 months I don't get it at all- and can go for long periods without thinking about alcohol and "my recovery situation"

it takes time to heal

the obsession can be lifted

Well, I look back at what I was like 73 days ago since I started recovery:

- I was terrified, believed fully in my mind that I would lose my job, not able to even do basic things at work
- I was just terrified inside anyway -- always super anxious and dreadful about everything
- Drinking boatloads of beer every night -- and embarrassing as it is -- wetting my couch, bed, and other furniture multiple times (I know, gross!)
- Not horribly hungover in the mornings/afternoons anymore and it can actually eat other things again!
- Getting to the point where I needed to binge right when I got home from work and in the middle of the day on the weekends
- Never able to just feel completely calm and have a "this too shall pass" attitude on things
- Now in AA, with a sponsor, home group, and got a good recovery program going so far
- Feeling a lot more peace now

So I would say the hard work has payed off so far. If it got better so far, then it must get even better than this eventually, right? I have to have some faith, continue my program, and just wait for these things to happen (obviously taking action in the meantime).

I guess in the end, recovery is very important in the beginning. But after a long while, as long as you have a solid recovery program going, you can start to focus more on life again too -- like the things you want to pursue in life, your dreams, etc. -- those things you wanted to do but could never do because you were too busy getting drunk all the time!

jalec: There's a lot of wisdom in the admonition to "keep it simple". Let the doctors and researchers debate about what alcoholism is, what "causes" it, etc. The main thing for me is how to recover and how to make recovery stick. Some of the insights of AA have been a tremendous help to me like "one day at a time" and not trying to change stuff you can't change. I don't take it all dogmatically however. All I know is that it seems to be be working for me and I'm grateful for that. Over analyzing recovery can be a subtle way of avoiding the process itself, like taking endless time to plan a canoe trip, researching the history of canoes, reading up on camping, etc. and never shoving off in a canoe and grabbing a paddle. You could end up by being the biggest self styled expert on alcoholism and still very unhappily drunk as a skunk.

W.

That's exactly how I feel. When I just chill out and keep it simple, I find it a lot easier to stay clean.