hman0217

Hi everyone

I am trying this again now after ending 12 days of sobriety with a substantial one-night relapse this past Friday night.

Twelve days ago, I contacted an acquaintance who took me to an AA meeting and I sat through the meeting in non-participatory fashion, as I did the only other AA meeting I went to(this time around), two days later at the same venue.

I actually appreciated the meeting but my ego stopped me from raising my hand and saying I only had a few days sober - like that was something to be ashamed of. Or maybe it was also not a total lettiing-go. Because I didn't want to truly commit to establishing myself as an AA-er.

Anyway, the point is the half measures failed me miserably. As have the quarter measures before that when I didn't go to meetings at all but just woke up and had the "Oh my god I need to get sober now!" mornings - about 10,000 times over.

So now faith runs low but I want to give this a better effort. It has to come first, no question.

So here's a big hello to everyone. It's not as humbling as face-to-face surrender but it's something. With that being said, who wants to point me to good AA meetings in Brooklyn, New York? I'm a 35 year old middle eastern male with an inclination towards meetings that are drugs-tolerant and have a diverse attendance.

Thanks everyone. Happy Sunday.

Hman

Hollyanne

Hman, There is a booklet with ALL the meetings in NY. Get it and start your hunt!
When you go to your local meeting, ask one of the guys you click with, what other mtgs he would recommend.
Have fun finding all the different mtgs!

hman0217

I should clarify when I said 'drugs-tolerant' I'm not looking to go to meetings high but, rather, I prefer to go meetings where mentioning drugs other than alcohol is tolerated.

dig

welcome back! ive been struggling with this for about 6-8 months now with success here and there. im starting off a fresh new try at sobriety today too... maybe we both will be looking back on this day many years from now thinking about how sobriety has changed out lives for the better!

hman0217

Thanks Holly. It's silly I suppose, because I have been to meetings years ago that I didn't really enjoy for whatever reason and so I want to be "efficient" by finding out the best meeting for me first shot.

But drinking and getting high is the least efficient thing ever. How many hours go up in flames from this sort of thing? Oh, the wasted time. If I spent 6 or 10 hours going to several meetings to find what works, that would be less than the hours I spent Friday/Saturday getting drunk and high until 4 am and then feeling like death all day trying to recover.

Ok, I do have that paper booklet with the meetings in it. I've picked one to go to tonight. Here I go...again

One more thing... I was thinking not only that it's important for me to be active in the meetings, but it's important for other people also. Because the well people will see me, the sick guy, and if any of them is secretly entertaining using again, then I can serve as a reminder to them about why that's a horrible idea.

Ok. Thanks in advance. Reaching out is helpful.

H

hman0217

All the best! Strength in numbers. It helps to know there are others right where I am at this moment.

Hollyanne

Good plan Hman.
How lucky are you to live in Brooklyn?
I would imagine you would be able to find many mtgs there.
A word of caution, some of the "friendly, tolerant" meetings can have less sobriety.
We need a little kick in the pants!

773niki

You're re-entry into the program sounds like me. I've been trying to stay sober my myself on my own terms for 2 years. Isolated, lied, indulged, binged, etc -- all with periods of sobriety in between so it was ok, right?! HA. Man, I have FINALLY come to the realization that I cannot do this on my own. No pill is going to help and to be honest, an online chat group is not enough (however, it's a fantastic supplement).

I finally have to buck up, throw my ego out the door, get vulnerable, follow the steps, attend meetings everyday (at least I'm determined to do 90 in 90. Since I spent about 132,453,347 hours drinking I figure I can go an hour a day to stay sober! But most importantly, this time around, I've realized SURRENDER and WILLINGNESS is key. It's something I"ve never fully had going for me. I also never (was scared) to ask for a sponsor. Not this time. I'm giving myself 2 weeks.

This morning is my 8th day sober and I feel grateful and blessed this morning.
Good luck buddy - I am forcing myself to go to these meetings, but each and every time, I leave feeling wonderful.

hman0217

Congrats on 8 days Niki!

Keep it up. We're fish out of water right now and I think the first day is the easiest because the bad memory is freshest. The next 89 days are terribly hard because... Well, when it ain't raining, the roof doesn't leak!

Ya know?

jennikate

Good analogy! I think you are right on about the participation. In other failed attempts, I went to meetings, listened, but never got involved. This time I was determined that it would be different. My advice is to go early and stay late. Help make coffee/clean up. That's where you really make the one on one connections that are so important at the begining. Get phone numbers and call them. Share if you can. Be open to getting a sponsor. I know it sounds corny but it works if you work it.