Parrotice23

I already posted on here today but I should give myself more of an introduction, I suppose. I'm a 40-year old male who has been drinking most of his adult life. My tolerance is pretty high and I rarely feel bad after drinking (no hang overs). However, things have spiraled out of control on more then a few major situations, usually with an excuse - death of a pet, money trouble, etc. I've wanted to stop drinking for a long time, or at least try to moderate it (which I now have given up on, I'd rather just go for sober).

A few years back things got pretty bad and I went through a lot of life changes, which kind of broke me apart and left me open to doing a LOT of drinking. I lived by myself and worked from home, often a trip to the store was the only chance to get out of those house. I had some friends that pretty much saved my life, I moved back to my home state of Washington, got in a good relationship with a wonderful girl, started over.

Only problem is the drinking started over too. It's rare that anything happens when I drink, I don't get mad, go driving around, etc. I used it to signify the end of the work day... but then it starts creeping into the morning hours... all hours, really.

In July I went sober for 30 days. It was great, I felt better, was happier, felt like I was on a new course in life. Then at the 30 day mark, I felt compelled to get a bottle of something or another. Wash, rinse, repeat. Here we are with Halloween just past, and I missed out on most of it - I should mention I have a little 7 month old now, how's that for a new course on life... and I missed the whole dang thing because I was on a bender I thought I could control.

Well, that was that. Missing that experience of his life and also getting to hear that wonderful girl say to me "we have to fix this... I can't tell my family why you keep getting sick on holidays". Tore my heart out even though I knew what I was doing when I was doing it.

I'm nearing the end of the first 24 hours without alcohol now. I don't miss it, I don't want any. I know the bottle strikes when we least expect it though. It means a lot to have you people out there that can relate, or at least listen (ok, read) and know what it is like.

I have a lot of amazing things to be on this Earth for. It's time I start living for them, and not for a bottle.

Change4good

Welcome, and glad to have you here. Thanks for sharing your story. Yes, a new addition to the family is one of many reasons to quit.

Take care tonight. You have 24 hours down. Keep going.

SoberForMySon

Welcome to November! We can do this. I do it for my son, too. And myself.

awuh1

So what’s the plan? Lots of us tried to stop drinking without anything more than a plan not to drink. That plan failed over and over. Not drinking (for the vast majority of us) involved making some big changes that went beyond not bending our elbows. You sound like you have a true desire to stop drinking. I’d like to see you succeed.

nonblondechef

When temptation comes a calling, what are you going to do, my fellow Washingtonian, to stay vigilent and avoid the beast? A plan will really help in the long run. Congratulations on coming to join us - you won't regret it and neither will your lovely family. Welcome!

Parrotice23

Thanks everyone.... yes, a plan is needed, a strategy of attack for when I "get confused" and decide it is ok to get just one drink (oddly enough, I never was a bar person and never had that issue with stopping in for something on the way home). I don't have any doubts that I will stop drinking, I was able to do that for a month and was very successful. BUT, there's always a but, there will be that one day where it seems like a good idea for whatever reason. My plan right now is to stay vigilant with support and telling others (important people in my life, people here, etc) what is going on in my head. I'm also planning on going to the doc this week to start that process and maybe look for some medication to help with the stress levels (I've always been anti-pills but I'm learning I need to try some new ideas. Also, if needed I won't go to the grocery store alone - it's inconvenient, and seems a bit silly, but that's always the place where I talk myself into thinking it is ok.

I also wrote out a small statement for myself last night when I was feeling the worst, to keep in my wallet for a reminder of what I was going through at the time.

One great thing about quitting drinking, especially in this first few day period so many of us are in, is each hour starts to seem a little better then the hour before.

Writing this all out helped. I've been thinking about it all day.

Dee74

welcome aboard parrotice

D

awuh1

Parrotice, the plan you have, as far as it goes, is good. Letting key individuals around you know what’s going on is particularly important. Visiting your doctor is also a VERY good idea at this stage.

Here are a few things I have found really increase the odds that things will improve. First adopt a plan that has worked for others. This involves a program or method such as Alcoholics Anonymous, AVRT (info is in the secular connections section on this web site) or even follow the lead of a few folks on this site who have stayed sober long term through a combination of methods or programs.

It’s only my experience, but my self-made plans never worked out for more than a few months (at best). It is also a pattern I have seen in people who post on this site. The self made plans are the ones that seem to work the least often. Go with a proven plan or method. You deserve to have the best chance for success. Best wishes

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR Parrotice x