Boot flask
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Westcoast
Posts: 26
Boot flask
I have never really thought about, little lone talked about what has happened to me in the last 3 years. And only now am I even beginning to see and remember. Situations, events and memories keep hitting me sudden- I now realize I was drunk during most, desperate to find alcohol, angry and discontent I didn't have it, or looking forward to the time I would be with it again. Always carrying my trusty flask, its always there, just in case, it won’t let me down..no big deal no worries.. Justifying justifying...
Remember that Christmas, going shopping, that time I went to church, when I babysat my little brother and sister, when I drove eight hours to Oregon... oh yeah I was drunk for all of those and so many more like them. Remember that time you stole from him, her, them, they because you had to have a drink, oh no not one as much as you could... Like many posts I have read it is like slowly coming out of a fog but it is also like I have been struck by lightning.. with the rod of truth. This didn't/ doesn't make sense to do this to myself or to others!
So far I have only told my close family what is going on, it was my dad I called.. "I think I have a drinking problem." I called him driving drunk, on the way to work 5 hours late, coming from a guy's house whom I had just "used." That night he found a flask in my boot and I was so embarrassed. I literally said, "Oh that.. haha its just my security blanket." That was 5 days ago.
I feel like I have finally been reading the book on my life, this place, the wonderful strong people here... I feel so encouraged to have realized that worse things can happen to me, to my life, to my family and friends if I do not admit I have a problem, NO I am an ALCOHOLIC. It will steal my life from me.
I am elated at what my future could be and terrified because today is Friday. It’s as simple as that.
This is not the first time I have taken a break from drinking or even "tried" to moderate. This is the first Friday since I began drinking that I will intentionally be saying NO to alcohol because I am addicted to it. I won’t have a flask in my boot… I threw all of them in the dumpster!! HAHA take that! I will be truly tempted by my addiction I know I will be in situations where I will want to drink and friends will be. With the help I am learning here I will prevail.
Thank you to all you brave people whose words and advice are helping me. Thank you for telling me your failures, your victories and for your honesty.
One day at a time.
Remember that Christmas, going shopping, that time I went to church, when I babysat my little brother and sister, when I drove eight hours to Oregon... oh yeah I was drunk for all of those and so many more like them. Remember that time you stole from him, her, them, they because you had to have a drink, oh no not one as much as you could... Like many posts I have read it is like slowly coming out of a fog but it is also like I have been struck by lightning.. with the rod of truth. This didn't/ doesn't make sense to do this to myself or to others!
So far I have only told my close family what is going on, it was my dad I called.. "I think I have a drinking problem." I called him driving drunk, on the way to work 5 hours late, coming from a guy's house whom I had just "used." That night he found a flask in my boot and I was so embarrassed. I literally said, "Oh that.. haha its just my security blanket." That was 5 days ago.
I feel like I have finally been reading the book on my life, this place, the wonderful strong people here... I feel so encouraged to have realized that worse things can happen to me, to my life, to my family and friends if I do not admit I have a problem, NO I am an ALCOHOLIC. It will steal my life from me.
I am elated at what my future could be and terrified because today is Friday. It’s as simple as that.
This is not the first time I have taken a break from drinking or even "tried" to moderate. This is the first Friday since I began drinking that I will intentionally be saying NO to alcohol because I am addicted to it. I won’t have a flask in my boot… I threw all of them in the dumpster!! HAHA take that! I will be truly tempted by my addiction I know I will be in situations where I will want to drink and friends will be. With the help I am learning here I will prevail.
Thank you to all you brave people whose words and advice are helping me. Thank you for telling me your failures, your victories and for your honesty.
One day at a time.
A simple guy making his way
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
That's a very honest post. Yes. Living a full life without drinking is possible. You just need to want it. I used to waver on that point. It's what everything hinges on.
Welcome to SR.
Welcome to SR.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: fort wayne, IN.
Posts: 1,085
Today is my third Friday sober. The people here told me last Friday and the Friday before that it would eventually get better. They were'nt lying I can tell you that. This Friday contains a lot of problems. Domestic life is tense, my husband has'nt spoken to me in two days. Professional life is tense, I got a call for a national company that wants me to do a job for them starting tomorrow and rolling through the week. I just want to go home and focus on repairing my seriously messed up body.
In all of this crap I just spilled out on you I don't feel like drinking ......yet.
But I will say to you what was said to me. It does get better.
In all of this crap I just spilled out on you I don't feel like drinking ......yet.
But I will say to you what was said to me. It does get better.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Loved that, Jaycee. You are facing this head on, eyes wide open. Admitting what you were and where you've come from - and vowing to reclaim your life.
We know you can do it. You're on your way to being free. Keep talking to us.
We know you can do it. You're on your way to being free. Keep talking to us.
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: GA, USA
Posts: 130
Hi, JayceeL.
I just wanted to let you know that I appriciate your post. It takes a strong, willing person to talk to others (strangers) about your past and about your future.
I, too, have done some incredibly stupid things while drinking/drunk. Drunk at church, drunk at my close cousins wedding, drunk while driving my children around (that one scares the heck out of me the more I think about it), "using" people becuase you were drunk (knowing if you werent, you would NEVER do such a thing). I would go places sober and be such a jerk to people, simply because in the back of my mind, all I wanted was to be at home (or anywhere) drinking. I was never complete and happy until I was.
Tonight is my first Friday sober, but to be honest, to me, Friday is the same as any other day of the week because I drank EVERY SINGLE DAY. I'm ok today. I'm even sitting here, home alone. My husbands beer is in the fridge right behind me and I'm perfectly content with not grabing a single one. I know I cannot stop at "just one."
Congratulations and keep up the good work. Its fantastic that you went to someone in your family and let them know you have a problem. We always need someone there with us when we go through something like this!
Take care. Have a fantastic, healthy weekend
I just wanted to let you know that I appriciate your post. It takes a strong, willing person to talk to others (strangers) about your past and about your future.
I, too, have done some incredibly stupid things while drinking/drunk. Drunk at church, drunk at my close cousins wedding, drunk while driving my children around (that one scares the heck out of me the more I think about it), "using" people becuase you were drunk (knowing if you werent, you would NEVER do such a thing). I would go places sober and be such a jerk to people, simply because in the back of my mind, all I wanted was to be at home (or anywhere) drinking. I was never complete and happy until I was.
Tonight is my first Friday sober, but to be honest, to me, Friday is the same as any other day of the week because I drank EVERY SINGLE DAY. I'm ok today. I'm even sitting here, home alone. My husbands beer is in the fridge right behind me and I'm perfectly content with not grabing a single one. I know I cannot stop at "just one."
Congratulations and keep up the good work. Its fantastic that you went to someone in your family and let them know you have a problem. We always need someone there with us when we go through something like this!
Take care. Have a fantastic, healthy weekend
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Westcoast
Posts: 26
Did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you all very much. And I did do it. (: (: (:
Here it is Sunday night a COMPLETE weekend drink free. I was around tons of temptations, alone in a room with open bottles, in several bars, had offers of beer multiple times and I managed to stay the line. I am not going to lie I was tempted. But everytime that little voice would say "come on just one beer, it will be delicious" But then I remembered something I had heard from several people... I didn't want just one beer nor would I have been happy with one. I wanted a whole 6 pack and more. So I didn't. I am so happy! Well the funny thing is right at this moment I am cranky, dang mood swings, haha. But really I am for the first time I am beginning to see the future, a sober future, a happy future with promise.
I know there will hard times ahead. I am going to continue to learn and be ready for them. The answer is never in a drink.
I MADE ITTTTTTTTTT!!!!! (And I didn't have to hide in my bed all weekend)
Here it is Sunday night a COMPLETE weekend drink free. I was around tons of temptations, alone in a room with open bottles, in several bars, had offers of beer multiple times and I managed to stay the line. I am not going to lie I was tempted. But everytime that little voice would say "come on just one beer, it will be delicious" But then I remembered something I had heard from several people... I didn't want just one beer nor would I have been happy with one. I wanted a whole 6 pack and more. So I didn't. I am so happy! Well the funny thing is right at this moment I am cranky, dang mood swings, haha. But really I am for the first time I am beginning to see the future, a sober future, a happy future with promise.
I know there will hard times ahead. I am going to continue to learn and be ready for them. The answer is never in a drink.
I MADE ITTTTTTTTTT!!!!! (And I didn't have to hide in my bed all weekend)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Inbetween dances
Posts: 548
Nice job Jaycee! Ironically, that flask in my boot got me sober too.... Wow! Huge wake up call! Although mine was in my boot at my gpa's me oriel service 
..... Life is better today, with no alcohol! ... Best wishes!
..... Life is better today, with no alcohol! ... Best wishes!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,335
Good for you Jaycee!
I would have had a tough time early on being near so many temptations....I had to change my routines for awhile. Nice feeling to start the week clear headed and focused, with no ill effects from the week end
I would have had a tough time early on being near so many temptations....I had to change my routines for awhile. Nice feeling to start the week clear headed and focused, with no ill effects from the week end
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
JayceeL: Wow! What you're doing is really impressive. Sounds like you're really going to make it if you go on this way. Just be wary of getting overconfident. That thing will always be watching for an opening- like a death in the family, some extraordinary success to be "celebrated". But, if you stick to sobriety, time will be on your side and you'll grow stronger and stronger, and happier and happier.
So anyway, congratulations! What you're doing isn't easy and it's really great that you're having such success!
W.
So anyway, congratulations! What you're doing isn't easy and it's really great that you're having such success!
W.
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