Can't stop drinking...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: 574
Posts: 1
Can't stop drinking...
I'm 23 years old and probably have a drinking problem. I drink when I'm happy, sad, angry, bored - you name an emotion, and I'll find an excuse to drink. I've been in trouble with the law more than once for drinking, but I still can't seem to stop. Everyone I know tells me I need to quit, but that means completely giving up my social life. Literally everyone I know my age drinks. All my friends want to do is go to bars. I'm afraid if I stop, I'll lose my social life and be single and alone forever. I can't just go out and "make new friends," where I live, EVERYONE drinks. There's nothing else to do in this town. I know if I keep doing what I'm doing, I'll probably die, but at this point, that prospect doesn't really seem to bother me. I've done AA before but it didn't really help - everyone there was way older than me, and I missed hanging out with my drinking friends.
I really need help, but not sure if I can really quit or not..
I really need help, but not sure if I can really quit or not..
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Santa Monica, CA
Posts: 168
im 24, and I had the same problem. Most weekends I would just hit up bars with my friends, and the main motivation was to meet women. And even though I may have gotten one night stands and stuff like that from meeting chics at bars, all the girls i have had serious relationships I met randomly and NOT IN BARS.
It sucks that I have to pass on going out to drink with my friends now, but i would rather live a healthy life so I can one day get married and have kids and a great career. So it is worth it. I'm pretty sure if I kept drinking the way I was, I would eventually get myself killed or thrown in jail.
It sucks that I have to pass on going out to drink with my friends now, but i would rather live a healthy life so I can one day get married and have kids and a great career. So it is worth it. I'm pretty sure if I kept drinking the way I was, I would eventually get myself killed or thrown in jail.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
Hi and welcome. When I was your age all my friends also drank heavily in bars socially with me and my then partner. One by one they all married had kids and quit that lifestyle. That just left me and a couple of singletons. I still drank but found new work buddies to fill the social gap.
One thing I have learnt is not to put your life/progress on hold to be around others as they may not have the same plan.
What is the alternative? End up drinking in a bar alone? Make friends with the local drinkers? Been there, got the t shirt. The life you have now isn't the life you'll always have, even if you don't change. Be the one to make that change. Slowly. One day at a time
S x
One thing I have learnt is not to put your life/progress on hold to be around others as they may not have the same plan.
What is the alternative? End up drinking in a bar alone? Make friends with the local drinkers? Been there, got the t shirt. The life you have now isn't the life you'll always have, even if you don't change. Be the one to make that change. Slowly. One day at a time
S x
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Hi allysiepiecie 
I hope you'll stick around - read a little, post as much as you like - I think you'll find it useful.
I struggled between my social life and the damage I knew I was doing too.
You don't want to be 40 still battling this will I won't I stuff.
Getting sober means changes sure - but none of us would stay sober if it meant losing out on the deal.
I have a life now I love - it's nothing like the life I used to have, or the life I ever thought it would be back then...but it's absolutely and authentically mine and I do genuinely love it
Getting sober's not the end - it's a beginning IMO
D
I hope you'll stick around - read a little, post as much as you like - I think you'll find it useful.
I struggled between my social life and the damage I knew I was doing too.
You don't want to be 40 still battling this will I won't I stuff.
Getting sober means changes sure - but none of us would stay sober if it meant losing out on the deal.
I have a life now I love - it's nothing like the life I used to have, or the life I ever thought it would be back then...but it's absolutely and authentically mine and I do genuinely love it
Getting sober's not the end - it's a beginning IMO
D
Not Alone
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: South East UK
Posts: 1,513
Hey Ally,
I just turned 23 last week and I remember being in the same situation as you regarding the whole social side of things. I had to change my friends, and my playgrounds. If you truly want to get sober and you put the effort in you will find out who your real friends are. They will be the ones that stick around and invite you out to do other things that don't involve drinking. I was very much the same when I walked into the rooms of NA at 21. Everyone was a lot older than I was. I have a lot of older friends, but they are all out here reliving the youth that they lost to drugs. I found that if you go to a few meetings you normally find people roughly your age. If you don't want to go back to AA there is recovery methods like SMART or AVRT that you can look into. I wish you luck on your journey.
Natom.
I just turned 23 last week and I remember being in the same situation as you regarding the whole social side of things. I had to change my friends, and my playgrounds. If you truly want to get sober and you put the effort in you will find out who your real friends are. They will be the ones that stick around and invite you out to do other things that don't involve drinking. I was very much the same when I walked into the rooms of NA at 21. Everyone was a lot older than I was. I have a lot of older friends, but they are all out here reliving the youth that they lost to drugs. I found that if you go to a few meetings you normally find people roughly your age. If you don't want to go back to AA there is recovery methods like SMART or AVRT that you can look into. I wish you luck on your journey.
Natom.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Hello.
I'm 25 but gave up drinking when I was 24. I was really worried about the same things you are - that I'd have no social life, no friends, and sit at home all the time by myself, bored. The reality couldn't be more different. I may not go out to bars and 'go crazy' all the time like some of my friends, but what I do have is a social life that revolves around actually doing things. I've had more fun since I've been sober than I ever did drunk.
You can be free from alcohol. Believe in yourself. You'll only be missing out if you believe you're missing out. Look at it from a different angle... think of all the things you'll gain, the improvements you'll see in your mental and physical health. There's no time like the present and you're young... you have your whole life ahead of you. Make today the first day of the rest of your life - don't wait years and regret not doing something about it sooner. You CAN do this.
Wishing you all the best x
I'm 25 but gave up drinking when I was 24. I was really worried about the same things you are - that I'd have no social life, no friends, and sit at home all the time by myself, bored. The reality couldn't be more different. I may not go out to bars and 'go crazy' all the time like some of my friends, but what I do have is a social life that revolves around actually doing things. I've had more fun since I've been sober than I ever did drunk.
You can be free from alcohol. Believe in yourself. You'll only be missing out if you believe you're missing out. Look at it from a different angle... think of all the things you'll gain, the improvements you'll see in your mental and physical health. There's no time like the present and you're young... you have your whole life ahead of you. Make today the first day of the rest of your life - don't wait years and regret not doing something about it sooner. You CAN do this.
Wishing you all the best x
I hope you decide to quit drinking cause sober life really rocks.Been there, done that!
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: London
Posts: 539
Hi ally,
i have just turned 30 and have been trying to quit since i was about 24 i can honestly tell you 1 thing that what ever you think your missing out on now ie going to bars etc will be nothing compared to what you will really lose the worst thing of all yourself.!
I do truly understand your struggle but even at 40 you will always have an excuse why you cant quit, see that is the nature of the this illness it will tell you a million reasons why you cant stop but the real truth is if you want to live you have to stop! and if you truly dont care about dying why are you wasting your time posting on this site! take care!
i have just turned 30 and have been trying to quit since i was about 24 i can honestly tell you 1 thing that what ever you think your missing out on now ie going to bars etc will be nothing compared to what you will really lose the worst thing of all yourself.!
I do truly understand your struggle but even at 40 you will always have an excuse why you cant quit, see that is the nature of the this illness it will tell you a million reasons why you cant stop but the real truth is if you want to live you have to stop! and if you truly dont care about dying why are you wasting your time posting on this site! take care!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1
Originally Posted by allysiepiecie 
I'm 23 years old and probably have a drinking problem. I drink when I'm happy, sad, angry, bored - you name an emotion, and I'll find an excuse to drink. I've been in trouble with the law more than once for drinking, but I still can't seem to stop. Everyone I know tells me I need to quit, but that means completely giving up my social life. Literally everyone I know my age drinks. All my friends want to do is go to bars. I'm afraid if I stop, I'll lose my social life and be single and alone forever. I can't just go out and "make new friends," where I live, EVERYONE drinks. There's nothing else to do in this town. I know if I keep doing what I'm doing, I'll probably die, but at this point, that prospect doesn't really seem to bother me. I've done AA before but it didn't really help - everyone there was way older than me, and I missed hanging out with my drinking friends.
I really need help, but not sure if I can really quit or not..
I really need help, but not sure if I can really quit or not..
Not sure if you'll ever come back and read this, but we met a couple years back. I Google'd your screenname to see what you've been up to and this came up in the results. If by chance you do see my post, I have a couple things to say.
Firstly, you're a very genuine person. You just make mistakes sometimes. I was saddened when I learned of your DUI, because well, you're better than that. You really do have a good head on your shoulders. Even when you think you're a failure, you're not. I saw a lot of potential in you. If you sincerely want to quit, then I know you can do it. Don't let AA deter you or make you feel like a lost cause, because AA isn't for everyone. In fact, AA's long-term success rates are miniscule.
You need to understand the root underlying causes why you're drinking. Are you stressed? Anxious? Why are you feeling this way? Why are you using alcohol as a band-aid? You need to solve these questions yourself, and then find alternative means to satisfy your psychological need, that aren't alcohol.
I had a problem with addiction last year. I won't say what I was putting in my body, but I will say I was doing it every day for months. There is absolutely no self-learning experience more powerful than battling addiction. After all, you need to confront yourself and dig deeper within than you ever have before.
I'm fairly certain you won't even read my post. But if by chance you do, there's a Youtube video I want you to watch. This video is what helped me kill my addiction, and I've been clean for over a year without any temptation to go back. The link is youtube dot come slash watch?v=BpHiFqXCYKc (dumb forum is making me type it out :\)
And Allyse, don't worry about being single forever. You're a down to earth girl with a great sense of humor, and you're very easy to connect with. You shouldn't need a relationship to feel fulfilled, but, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself either. You're a catch. Trust me.
Best of Luck
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
I am totally impressed by all who answered this post. Gives me a warm feeling. I wish I had that kind of thinking 30 years ago.
ally, I hope you heed this advice from your peers. Pretty powerful if you ask me.
Welcome to the forum. Stay in touch.
ally, I hope you heed this advice from your peers. Pretty powerful if you ask me.
Welcome to the forum. Stay in touch.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 151
I'm 38 I'm in contstruction , I travel to a difrent state monthly , today I saw a gang of guys huddling around in te parking lot of the hotel drinking beers , talking laughing and having a gool time , I can't join them for fear I will trigger my lust for booze , the drinkinking version of me can charm the hell out of woman. I'm sure the non drinking version can to , its just much harder to find anyone to charm, that said I prefer to stay clean then social and drunk , good luck to you
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