New Here, my first post.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5
New Here, my first post.
Hi everyone,
I'm new to these forums, but I've been reading pretty regularly over the past several months. I've just recently decided to take action against my ever present alcohol addiction. It's been only a couple of days, but I feel very different this time as compared to the past.
I've attempted to quit drinking many, many times over the past number of years. I'm a 33 year old guy, with what I perceive as a lot of things going for me. I'm fortunate enough to have a great family and close friends, and I am not sure why this problem has plagued me since high school, other than to say that it is certainly in my genes - there is an impressive list of alcoholics on either side of my family, and if genetics has anything to do with it, then I'd certainly be a prime candidate.
I've tried to go to AA meetings over the past few months, but I never seem to stick with them. I feel extremely uncomfortable at these meetings, so all I do is stare at the floor hoping noone talks to me. I don't feel like they help at all; I am not a religious person and, in fact, I admit the religions connotations of the organization has deterred me from attending. I've made countless alcohol induced mistakes in the past... far too many to get into, but certainly serious enough to discuss. I've driven my car drunk countless times, which is terrible, especially given the fact that when I was much younger, I detested those who did so. I've had relationships come and go, have wasted incredible amounts of money, have foregone any semblance of taking care of my appearance (I have always been an athlete throughout my entire life), have lied, cheated, and stolen, and why? When I first started drinking, I was in the eleventh grade. I have always been a quiet guy, one who kind of blended in with the background. Alcohol gave me a sort of confidence, as I am sure it does for many when they first try it. Because of this newfound (and very false) confidence, I was able to talk to girls, and became more and more (seemingly) popular. In my early 20's, it became so that I would go out to various pubs and nightclubs with a frightening regularity; probably 4 or 5 times per week, which did not seem amiss because my friends would be there by my side, drinking every bit as much as I did.
With most people I know, these drinking habits certainly tamed when they reached their late 20's and early 30's. With me, however, these habits did anything but. I would replace, most times, going out to pubs with drinking at home, often (usually) alone. When I was younger, I could drink without real consequence; that is to say that when I drank, and I woke up the next morning, the feelings of anxiety, depression, and regret did not follow. These days, however, they're there in full force. Not only that, but the "good times" had by drinking don't seem so good; I guess it's much the same as someone addicted to heroin, in that they might take a hit of their drug not to feel high, but to feel normal. Well, when you realize this, then what's the point? I realize I needed to quit.
So, apologies for rambling on here. I'm not sure if this is all making sense or whatever, but know that reading the posts on these sites are of so much help to me, and I'm sure many others as well. I really prefer this type of recovery than in-person meetings. One thing I will say though - and perhaps the main reason this time feels so much different for me than any other time - was because I read a book called "The Effective Way To Stop Drinking" by Beechy Colcogh. The author is a recovery alcoholic and someone I can certainly relate to, and it is very well written. I feel someone clicked in my head and I have so much hope for the future. One day at a time with no days off!
Thanks for reading!
I'm new to these forums, but I've been reading pretty regularly over the past several months. I've just recently decided to take action against my ever present alcohol addiction. It's been only a couple of days, but I feel very different this time as compared to the past.
I've attempted to quit drinking many, many times over the past number of years. I'm a 33 year old guy, with what I perceive as a lot of things going for me. I'm fortunate enough to have a great family and close friends, and I am not sure why this problem has plagued me since high school, other than to say that it is certainly in my genes - there is an impressive list of alcoholics on either side of my family, and if genetics has anything to do with it, then I'd certainly be a prime candidate.
I've tried to go to AA meetings over the past few months, but I never seem to stick with them. I feel extremely uncomfortable at these meetings, so all I do is stare at the floor hoping noone talks to me. I don't feel like they help at all; I am not a religious person and, in fact, I admit the religions connotations of the organization has deterred me from attending. I've made countless alcohol induced mistakes in the past... far too many to get into, but certainly serious enough to discuss. I've driven my car drunk countless times, which is terrible, especially given the fact that when I was much younger, I detested those who did so. I've had relationships come and go, have wasted incredible amounts of money, have foregone any semblance of taking care of my appearance (I have always been an athlete throughout my entire life), have lied, cheated, and stolen, and why? When I first started drinking, I was in the eleventh grade. I have always been a quiet guy, one who kind of blended in with the background. Alcohol gave me a sort of confidence, as I am sure it does for many when they first try it. Because of this newfound (and very false) confidence, I was able to talk to girls, and became more and more (seemingly) popular. In my early 20's, it became so that I would go out to various pubs and nightclubs with a frightening regularity; probably 4 or 5 times per week, which did not seem amiss because my friends would be there by my side, drinking every bit as much as I did.
With most people I know, these drinking habits certainly tamed when they reached their late 20's and early 30's. With me, however, these habits did anything but. I would replace, most times, going out to pubs with drinking at home, often (usually) alone. When I was younger, I could drink without real consequence; that is to say that when I drank, and I woke up the next morning, the feelings of anxiety, depression, and regret did not follow. These days, however, they're there in full force. Not only that, but the "good times" had by drinking don't seem so good; I guess it's much the same as someone addicted to heroin, in that they might take a hit of their drug not to feel high, but to feel normal. Well, when you realize this, then what's the point? I realize I needed to quit.
So, apologies for rambling on here. I'm not sure if this is all making sense or whatever, but know that reading the posts on these sites are of so much help to me, and I'm sure many others as well. I really prefer this type of recovery than in-person meetings. One thing I will say though - and perhaps the main reason this time feels so much different for me than any other time - was because I read a book called "The Effective Way To Stop Drinking" by Beechy Colcogh. The author is a recovery alcoholic and someone I can certainly relate to, and it is very well written. I feel someone clicked in my head and I have so much hope for the future. One day at a time with no days off!
Thanks for reading!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,031
Welcome to SR! I am on Day 20 and have found lots of support here. I tried two different AA meetings, and met very nice people, but it didn't seem the right fit for me. I bought the book Rational Recovery, as well as the SMART handbook, I am also seeing a therapist every other week. Women for Sobriety has been a great resource for me, although probably not quite the group for you. 
Keep posting and reading!
Keep posting and reading!
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
Welcome AthleticGuy! I can relate to watching friends lose/tame the drinking lifestyle at an appropriate time and not being able to do the same. I really do feel genetics play a part in the whole thing but since there's no magic drug to fix us we have to do it ourselves. You'll find lots of plans for recovery here, and can learn all kinds of tips to make quitting easier. I'm going to check out the book you recommended-thanks!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 23
I'm pretty much where you are. I know I need to do something, but don't know what. I also have the same issues with AA. It's just not for me. For the last couple days, I've just been checking in here. I'll look for the book you mentioned.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Welcome to SR AthleticGuy
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players, including but not limited to AA:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I also heartily recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach like SMART, LifeRing Rational Recovery etc.
good to have you with us
D
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players, including but not limited to AA:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I also heartily recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach like SMART, LifeRing Rational Recovery etc.
good to have you with us
D
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
Welcome to SR! Keep reading and keep posting because it's a place of great support. Everyone is so understanding because everyone gets it. So many are recovering because of various methods and various combinations of methods. Figure out what works for you and do it, again and again and again.
Professional Drunk
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 465
Your post could have been written to describe me! I am 36 and have followed the same drinking pattern as you through the years. I eventually went to rehab at 34 and realized it was time to change. I was miserable, depressed and broke when I decided i wanted a happy and rewarding life. I'm still putting my life in order now, but I am on the right path. Reach out to someone close to you for help.
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