Low libido in recovering alcoholics
 

Hi everyone. I am a female alcoholic and my boyfriend is also in recovery, three years. While we are otherwise very compatible, we've been having problems with sex from the beginning. He tells me that when he was drinking, he wanted sex all the time, but since getting sober, his libido is very low and in fact, he often has erectile problems and relies on Viagra. He has stopped the personal work that he accomplished working the steps and is now doing no personal work. I believe that he has some psychological issues that he's unwilling to face and could benefit from some therapy, but although he agrees, he never actually makes it happen. Are there any other guys out there with this problem? How long should I wait this out? It's been almost three years.

I'm 49 years old and, drinking or not, I have a hard time getting an erection. It's just a fact of life that guys run out of testosterone. I find it more desirable than being guided by my loins and being led to distraction by constant thoughts of sex. I welcome this change since I'm single and have no one that I have to perform for.

It would be nice to have an erection on demand, but oh well. I could try any number of supplements on the market, but it's not really a big deal for me. I've had enough orgasms for one lifetime.

When you stop drinking, all kinds of things have to adjust in your body and mind. 3 years is a long time though. Could be psychological rather than physical with regards to your boyfriend, but who knows? Couples therapy couldn't hurt. Then again, it could be entirely physical. At least the viagra seems to be working when needed.

Hi Tucker

welcome :)

maybe as you say there are some psychological or even physical components at work here?

I'm a man. If it had been three years for me, I would have seen a Dr long ago.

D

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thanks
D

I was the opposite. When I was drinking, I had zero sex-drive or desire. Alcohol suppresses testosterone production, so if your drunk 24/7, the body is deficient. When I sobered up, my sex-drive came back to normal, but for a good 2 or 3 years I was useless to my gf.

Hey Tucker,

When I was in my drinking/using phase I had a very high libido. At the moment I have nada. Not at all that much interested but I have other stuff I need to be doing at the moment. You would think after a couple of years of recovery your partner would be in a space to be more sexually active. Perhaps you should try persuading him to go to couples therapy with you. It can only be beneficial.