Trying once again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5
Trying once again
Hi All. I am trying once again to quit drinking. I have joined other such sites but never felt I got the right support. I have been reading the stuff on here and hope it is for me. I am 51 and been drinking since around 15 although it is only in the last 17 years that I would say I had a real problem whereby I cannot go one night without a bottle of wine. Reason? extremely stressful life and that is my crutch. I also have spent a lifetime of "having to", "should do this and that" - and I guess I have a little protest inside that says why should I give up the one thing that is mine (drinking) - ridiculous as my health is definitely now beginning to suffer, I wake up most mornings feeling tired, sinusy, I have a dull ache in my right side, liver area, I feel weak and shaky a lot of the time and have noticed a tremor in my hands, very slight but it is there. I eat healthily. I used to exercise a lot but don't get time and frankly now do not have the energy. I cannot imagine a life with no drinking at all, it just feels so boring as what I would love to achieve would be alcohol free days all week and just drinking on a Friday and Saturday and special occasions - when I can have fun. I have started a supplements regime and really want to feel better and kick this horrid habit. I think I am what they call a functioning alcoholic. Any thoughts/advice greatly appreciated.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
I can only speak for myself, but I also tought I was a functioning Alcoholic. I was a surviving Alcoholic. I now have 28 days of sober time. Let me teel you that it is just awsome! Easy, not really, liberating, indeed!
My health was taking a big it, I'm 38. Since I stopped I sleep all the time...
You body will actually show you how tired it really is when you give it a real chance.
Best of luck and Welcome to SR. Great people here!
My health was taking a big it, I'm 38. Since I stopped I sleep all the time...
You body will actually show you how tired it really is when you give it a real chance.
Best of luck and Welcome to SR. Great people here!
Not Alone
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: South East UK
Posts: 1,513
Hello Mustquit,
Welcome to the forums. There's a lot of advice, information, support and experience on these forums. You've made a start at wanting to tackle your problem by signing up on here. Have a look round and read any threads that look like they may be of interest to you. This is the alcoholism forum:
Alcoholism - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Natom.
Welcome to the forums. There's a lot of advice, information, support and experience on these forums. You've made a start at wanting to tackle your problem by signing up on here. Have a look round and read any threads that look like they may be of interest to you. This is the alcoholism forum:
Alcoholism - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Natom.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Hello and welcome to SR 
you've come to the right place and we're glad you're here.
Why should I give up the one thing that is mine? - Ahh! I know that thought well. Alcohol was my friend - one that was there for me when I wanted to escape reality, one that was there for me as a shoulder to cry on, one that allowed to me to express myself... all those feelings/thoughts I kept inside when I was sober. I believed that those times when I got drunk were the times when I was truly allowing myself a treat... like I was giving myself a break after working hard, etc.
When I realised that alcohol was NOT a friend, getting sober was a hell of a lot easier. My thoughts towards alcohol totally changed and I realised it was alcohol and my relationship with alcohol that was causing me all the problems I thought I had to escape from. I do not miss anything about alcohol now and whilst I was still drinking, all those thoughts I had about the benefits of alcohol in my life... it was all just addiction talking.
You have to get the idea that you can have alcohol free days and drinking days out of your mind. It just doesn't work. I don't know you, of course, and maybe you are different, but for the vast majority of people who come to SR and those I know in real life, the only way forward for someone who has issues with alcohol is to completely abstain. I was never an every day drinker - I drank at the most three times a month when I quit, though I had drank more frequently in the past. Limiting myself to not drinking all the time did not help me - I just drank until I passed out and 'made up for it' on those nights.
Have you considered using any methods to help you? There are many, not just AA - though of course that is a very popular route to go down. AVRT and SMART are two of the many other options available to you and you can find lots of information about popular recovery methods on this board.
Wishing you all the best and please stick around - there is much to be learned and lots of support for you here.
you've come to the right place and we're glad you're here. Why should I give up the one thing that is mine? - Ahh! I know that thought well. Alcohol was my friend - one that was there for me when I wanted to escape reality, one that was there for me as a shoulder to cry on, one that allowed to me to express myself... all those feelings/thoughts I kept inside when I was sober. I believed that those times when I got drunk were the times when I was truly allowing myself a treat... like I was giving myself a break after working hard, etc.
When I realised that alcohol was NOT a friend, getting sober was a hell of a lot easier. My thoughts towards alcohol totally changed and I realised it was alcohol and my relationship with alcohol that was causing me all the problems I thought I had to escape from. I do not miss anything about alcohol now and whilst I was still drinking, all those thoughts I had about the benefits of alcohol in my life... it was all just addiction talking.
You have to get the idea that you can have alcohol free days and drinking days out of your mind. It just doesn't work. I don't know you, of course, and maybe you are different, but for the vast majority of people who come to SR and those I know in real life, the only way forward for someone who has issues with alcohol is to completely abstain. I was never an every day drinker - I drank at the most three times a month when I quit, though I had drank more frequently in the past. Limiting myself to not drinking all the time did not help me - I just drank until I passed out and 'made up for it' on those nights.
Have you considered using any methods to help you? There are many, not just AA - though of course that is a very popular route to go down. AVRT and SMART are two of the many other options available to you and you can find lots of information about popular recovery methods on this board.
Wishing you all the best and please stick around - there is much to be learned and lots of support for you here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5
I want to say a big thank you for replying to me so quickly - I know all you say is so true, I am going to really, really try harder than I ever have before. I want to know what it feels like to be free of alcohol because I cannot even remember. I was surprised that I actually felt very emotional reading your posts, like I have new friends to help me through this. I can't do AA - too many of my clients will be there! I have read numerous books around the subject and am a huge believer in EFT - but I have to be in a place where I actually want to do it - and today I have reached that place. This is Day 1 in my recovery, I normally fail on Day 3 - I will keep reading on here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 521
MustQuit -- I am not sure what kind of clients you have... but, why would they be offended or worry about you being at AA? In all honesty you would both be there for the same reason right? So, if anything they might be encouraged. Honestly for me I tried a rehab place that was AVART, I tried several other ways to get sober and AA was the only thing that worked for me. I am not pushing AA on you... just questioning why you would be against it because people you might know would be there. If they are there then they have the same problem. I just don't want you to close your mind to it.
Welcome to SR it has been an awesome tool to help me get sober and stay sober!
I just don't want you to close your mind to it.Welcome to SR it has been an awesome tool to help me get sober and stay sober!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5
My business is law and we deal with a lot of people with addictions and mental health problems. My face at work is a competent, professional, business woman. I have 60 staff who have no idea about my problem as I turn up day in day out and do the job, and work really hard at it. It would be totally humiliating for it to get out in our local and small community and I would not be able to command the respect I need to run the firm. I will keep on with this site and will research the AVRT and SMART programmes suggested.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
I totally understand Mustquit. If you work in law then you must have a really logical side to you and how you approach things. AVRT might actually be your thing. Works for me.
I work in IT so I'm logical, and I need to know I am in control over my addiction. I AM
I work in IT so I'm logical, and I need to know I am in control over my addiction. I AM
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