KrissWest

I went through 6 days of withdrawal on a medical detox and felt horrible for days 2-3 and then felt a bit better until the night of day 5 when the restless leg syndrome and cold sweats kicked in. I did not sleep all night. It was the most horrible feeling I have ever experienced and the reason I haven't kicked this habit before... mostly.

So, on day 7, I was starting a new job... so the night of Day 6, at 3:30am when the RLS was relentless, I took some of the small bit of my DOC that I saved in case of an emergency. I took some of my DOC just to relieve the RLS so I could be well rested... I had to be. Since this, I haven't gone into full time use as before, but I have taken it at night... Tonight will be the 3rd night. Tomorrow I'm getting a heating pad to try that and I have to tell to the MD on Monday... Here is the issue.

20 mins after I take it, I feel WONDERFUL... cradled by God wonderful and SO happy! It is even better than when I was taking it every day... to the point where if someone told me I would take 15 yrs of my life off with continued use and I had no one to consider but me, I would take it hands down ... and I didn't feel like this when I was taking it every day... Then, I wanted to end it! I do have others to consider who I love more than my DOC and so Im ending it!

I think part of the issue is that drinking was destroying many relationships I was having and getting me in trouble with work... so when I ended that, I craved, but accepted.

This drug does not get me into too much trouble and I'm only stopping bc I want to have a baby... and my husband... What do I do? How can I convince myself that this is a problem...the way I did with drinking? Please help!

bjames

I'll tell you that motherhood is absolutely amazing. You don't want to miss out on it, or miss a second of it when you have a baby. That baby will be a beautiful little person, who will deserve a mom who gives him/her 100%. Believe me, the happiness and fulfillment you get from that will be worth missing out on what you're feeling from your DOC. Also, remember addiction is progressive. You may be only using at night now, but do you really think it will stay that way?

artsoul

It sounds like you already know you're treading on dangerous ground, and I imagine most of us would agree. You don't want to trade one addiction for another.

See what you're doctor says. I had some leg restlessness and insomnia too and it can drive you crazy, but it should be temporary. Sometimes taking meds can prolong the process, too.

KrissWest

Well... with alcohol, it was progressive... with my current DOC however, I took it all day, every day for 2 years and now am able to do it just at night with much difficulty... but I am doing it for now. I wait all day for night to come.

\Yes though, my child will deserve that.

Lenina

Kriss,

Youre waiting all day to take it. Please see your doctor. It doesn't sound like your finished yet. Addiction is so insidious. Talk to your doctor about what you might be able to safely take for the RLS. I'm sure there's something.

Please work on getting healthy before before conception. Search around here on SR and see what women have been through with pregnancy and drugs.

Love from Lenina

Dee74

Hi Kriss - some great advice here.

2 things crossed my mind reading your post...that feeling you call 'cradled by God' never lasts - I suspect you know that or you wouldn't be here.

Addiction is never static, it progresses....and I'm sure you've seen enough glimpses of the consequences to not want to go there.

Secondly, & forgive the bluntness - but I've never heard anyone say 'gee I'm glad my mom was an addict'.

RLS is a pain in the butt - I've had RLS all my life - but it's not worth going backwards or throwing your future away over.

please, if you're really weighed down by it, see your Dr.

D