escapist

I feel like crying. I can't hold a positive thought or feeling. I looked at myself this morning and my eyes started burning and watering up. I have a long way to go. I feel discouraged. My eyes aren't swollen anymore. I am not drinking. I don't have the creepy skin anymore. I felt like my skin was too tight in the beginning. My liver is so hard. My stomach feels like I swallowed a bag of cement. I am completely demoralized.

Wolfram

Hope you will feel better soon. SR is there for you.

Positivefuture

Feel better, it will get easier. Know you have the support of SR and we are all rooting for you!!!

Delilah1

Sorry you are in pain today, sending hugs and positive thoughts. You should feel proud that you are not drinking, see if you can focus there to find something positive. Also, keep close to SR I always feel better after reading and posting, there is a ton of support here.

IndaMiricale

Do your best to just relax and keep hydrated. Feed. and try to rest.

You can be free. Do you think about any programs ?

AA saved this hopeless alcoholic from my way of thinking and living..

Edabisco

Hang in there!

Dee74

sorry it's been a rough morning escapist.
How are you feeling now?

D

Caldus

escapist, how many days sober are you? Those first several days are so terrifying. Ugh. I'm so sorry. But do understand that if you make it through today, then tomorrow will be a little bit better. I wouldn't be sitting here telling you this if it wasn't true. I would be back out drinking again.

Itchy

Have you dialed in your Doc/s?

escapist

I started farting around in the kitchen. So ,I have something to do. Making a roast and baking bread. Whatever. I still have a headache. Drank some alka seltzer. I am getting used to this up and down thing. I don't know what to expect from one day to the other. I will have an upbeat , feeling ok kind of day and then the next 2 days are tense, gloomy, and physically impossible. Monday will be two weeks. My liver is really taxed. I havent gone to the Dr. because I dont think I can handle the stress of it. I can not drink anymore. I will die if I do and I am not speaking figurativly. I have had chronic diarhhea for 3 years. That stopped a week ago by the way. My euelids do not look like they are full of water. My eyes are still bloodshot though. I am carrying a lot of fluid in mu abdominal area. 4 years ago I was a size 2. Today I am a 16 .

RevivingOphelia

escapist,

I found putting a couple of cups of epsom salts in a hot bath (i also add essential oils such as lemongrass) is wonderful. These salts are said to draw toxins from the body and are a sedative for the nervous system.

Hope you feel better soon.

renaldo

Hi escapist,

I'm right there with you. I had chronic diahrea (can never remember how to spell it). Not for 3 years though. Felt like I swallowed a bag of cement. In fact, in the film Double Indemnity, Edward G. Robinson says that exact line: "I feel like I've swallowed a bag of cement. That little man in my chest won't leave me alone!" (I'm paraphrasing).

That "little man in my chest" has caused me some problems. I had a seizure and my chest muscles froze up so much that doing anything that used them was very painful. It's subsiding now, but the danger is that I can start to think I'm OK now, when all indications are that my body is taxed to the limit.

No way no how are you alone in the stuff you're going through.

Zee

I really recommend you go and see a doctor. Be honest with him/her. Ask for a liver function test. Don't put it off. I know this from personal experience. Do it monday. Being stressed about stuff goes out the window if you are feeling unwell! I have cirrhosis, one of my symptoms was ascites and edema (swelling in stomach and legs). I don't want to scare you but putting off seeing the doctor will do more harm than good!

sugarbear1

Big hugs and love sent to you! You aren't alone. Early recovery is like that. Maybe just cry and feel the pain. AA is available, you won't be alone there. Everyone in early recovery goes through this. Stay strong, you are healing!

Please do see your doctor. It will ease your stress.

Love & hugs,

tinkanman

escapist, i know how you feel. if i drink anymore, i will die. litterally. my liver won't take anymore. my motivation for recovery is to live. i want to see my children and grand children grow up. that being said, i would encourage you to see a physician, no matter how scared you are of going. this website is terrific support for those of us who can't drink for whatever reason. don't give up. you are not alone. we are here with you.

Fandy

You dont know if your liver is taxed until you get testing. You need to be checked by your doctor and have some simple bloodwork ups, so they have a starting point. I'm sorry you feel so bad, i hope tomorrow is better. 2 weeks is great! I HOPEyou turn the corner and start to feel better tomorrow.