confusing
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Westerly, RI
Posts: 1
confusing
My bf is an alcoholic, who wants to and should be sober for medical reasons besides overall health
He has been hospitalized 3 times this year already for acute pancreatitis with many advising him to stop drinking, attend AA-he wont and counseling
As with many, he is a compulsive liar about his alcohol use. When he gets any $, he goes out to buy a pint of brandy, pint of vodka and 6pack beer for the night
He was drinking every day for years (20), the above protocal, but 'trying to stop', does this rerun/cyclic pattern every week.!!! Even though he has no $ for rent, etc.
The boundary is that he is not to be around my daughter and I IF he has been drinking, he has his own place and I have mine. We are in our 40's.
I do let him know Im aware he had alcohol, he denies, but I ask him to stay at his home or to leave before my daughter gets home from school
His alcoholism not only has affected his health, it affects our relationship, his family, his job, finances and has legal issues with road rage, etc.
When does the cycle end or IF it ends, or do I give up because everyone else in his immediate family/life have given up on him and his sobriety.?
He has been hospitalized 3 times this year already for acute pancreatitis with many advising him to stop drinking, attend AA-he wont and counseling
As with many, he is a compulsive liar about his alcohol use. When he gets any $, he goes out to buy a pint of brandy, pint of vodka and 6pack beer for the night
He was drinking every day for years (20), the above protocal, but 'trying to stop', does this rerun/cyclic pattern every week.!!! Even though he has no $ for rent, etc.
The boundary is that he is not to be around my daughter and I IF he has been drinking, he has his own place and I have mine. We are in our 40's.
I do let him know Im aware he had alcohol, he denies, but I ask him to stay at his home or to leave before my daughter gets home from school
His alcoholism not only has affected his health, it affects our relationship, his family, his job, finances and has legal issues with road rage, etc.
When does the cycle end or IF it ends, or do I give up because everyone else in his immediate family/life have given up on him and his sobriety.?
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
It ends when he decides he's had enough of the addiction. Nothing you or his family can do except to not enable him (giving him money which he'll use for booze, paying his bills or rent, etc.) If he's been trying to stop repeatedly that's a good sign I think.
He may be afraid of going to AA or counseling and not be able to admit that to you. Does he have a computer? If so, maybe you can write him a very loving letter saying that you don't want to give up on him, and are worried about his health, and give him this website. He would definitely find options for recovery, others that share his illness, support, and know that you are sincerely trying to help him.
He may be afraid of going to AA or counseling and not be able to admit that to you. Does he have a computer? If so, maybe you can write him a very loving letter saying that you don't want to give up on him, and are worried about his health, and give him this website. He would definitely find options for recovery, others that share his illness, support, and know that you are sincerely trying to help him.
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