lastresort

I have been to rehab,jail, and the psych ward twice to each. Im beginning to think im not going to be able to do this. I have actually been doing pretty good the last few months. I was going to AA from Mon-Fri and i thought everything was going well. I come to find out this past week that their was a lot of gossip being said about me. I know that their intentions were good, because im very quiet about my past life, and they just want to know about me so they can help. but ive lived a whole lifetime of paranoia and now that i dont have anything to be paranoid about i cant get away from the feeling. To find out, that the people i thought were my real friends, have been talking about how spiritually damaged my family is behind my back just really hurts. I know my family is REALLY messed up and im the only one trying to get help. but i would like to be the one to explain to the fellowship my problems. not have them whisper behind my back about how hard its going to be for me to get better because of my family and the horrible history i have.

Dee74

Hi lastresort - and welcome to SR

One of the other moderators here has a tagline 'it's none of my business what other people think of me'.

I really like that.

I spent years being so caught up in what other people thought or might be saying or even what they were thinking about me....I think that effort is far better directed into working on ourselves.

It's not nice that other people gossip about your family...but it's not good for you to get twisted out of shape by it either.

if it's important to you that they know, and you think it would help why not invite people out for coffee and give them the real story?

D

Itchy

See my tagline!

You aren't the only one that sometimes wears your feelings on your sleeve. However don't let them become a reason to relapse. We are here for you too.

pipparina

You need to worry about staying sober, and doing whatever it will take for that to happen. If people gossip, do your best to ignore them. I think it is pretty awful that is happening to you in the fellowship. But there must be some people at the meetings you go to that you can get good support from, no?
There are people on this site who had circumstances that seemed it would make it near impossible for them to get sober. But they did, and you can too.

Purplecatlover

Welcome to SR.
You will find a lot of wisdom & encouragement here.

2granddaughters

Do you have a sponsor? What does your sponsor say about the situation?

Sounds like someone gossiping about the gossip.

Don't let a little gossip keep you from the very thing that will save your life. AA.

Get a sponsor. Get a Home Group. Ignore the gossip (unless it is true).

All the best.

Bob R

Anna

I'm sorry that your 'friends' are gossipping about you. You need to know that this reflects badly on them and their issues. You can take the high road and simply focus on your recovery.

Hevyn

I agree, lastresort. Don't let anyone or anything interfere with you getting well. You can do this - please don't become defeated.

I hope the more you read and post here, the more hope you'll feel. You aren't alone, you have all of us to understand and help. You can do this, no matter what's gone on in the past.

Chrisy

I am very sorry this happen to you.

Welcome to S/R.. The people are really great here and are very supportive. No one will gossip about you here, but will try and help you in your recovery.

This is a really great forum..

We are cheering for you.

wpainterw

Folks will gossip, particularly in smaller communities. I found that gossip could be an obstacle to my recovery and had to deal with that. It was hard to ignore but I found that, in the long run, getting well helped my self esteem and make me less vulnerable to what others thought. Indeed more and more others came to admire my recovery. Often they didn't know the true facts, or were relying on stuff that others had made up. Some of it was hurtful and even now I remember it. But I'm pretty well now, haven't had a drink for a long long time and I can handle this, despite the nightmares which I occasionally have. Funny thing isn't it how the world of sleep is a whole different world and you don't have much control over what you dream.
Anyway all I can say is that if you hang in there and don't drink you will probably find that the gossip is not as troublesome to you as it now is. So hang in there. It gets better

W.

Taking5

I'd find a different AA group to go to.

Delilah1

First, sorry you have been having such a difficult time. You obviously want help and are taking steps to make positive choices. I have found SR to be such s great website, you will find support without judgement.
I would look into a different meeting too. There are lots of options. Hopefully you can find someone to help you through the tough times. Also, stick close to SR.

tomsteve

welcome!1
the one thing i catch is you mention you have a history paranoia. is there a chance that they really arent doing this?
a part of the BB comes to mind:

We turned back to the list, for it held the key to the future. We were prepared to look at it from an entirely different angle. We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us. In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill. How could we escape? We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? We could not wish them away any more than alcohol.

This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick.Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."

nogard

Hi and well done on your clean time. I agree with 'it's none of my business what other people think of me'

Also a friend told me a few years back that if people are gossiping about me I doing others a service as it means their not gossiping about them.

It hurts but gets easier to see that teh external stuff is not important. Staying Sober and getting well is.

Kevin