Radio16

Last week after my wife spent a week in jail she finally admitted to me that she had a drinking and drug problem,and she was afraid she was going to die. I was so taken by what she told me and was really happy that she finally said that. She begged me to help her, so i told her i would do whatever i could for her. We have been married only since Apri 13 2012. I honestly never knew she had a problem before we married. I told her that i will never leave her and will always be there for her. She is a beautiful woman, and i love her immensely. Right now she is in rehab,and i pray for her each and every day, but i feel so sad inside that i was not able to spot it earlier. The day before she left she wrote me a letter telling me how much she loved me and that she has never met a man so emotionally strong as me,that has stood by her side through all of this. I just cant help but feel that she isnt going to come home when she gets out of rehab,her family wont let me speak to her and they wont tell me how she is doing. I think that they are not helping matters any by doing this to us. I love my wife so very much and would take a bullet for her if i had to. My wife is my world to me,and though she has only been gone for one week,the lonliness and sadness are beginning to set in on me, its not about me though its about my wife. I am trying so very hard to be strong but its trying to catch up to me. I have done a lot of crying and blaming myself for not doing something sooner, but i know as a recovering alcoholic myself, nothing can be done until she admitted she had a problem. I dont feel the need to drink and i know that i have to remain sober for her sake. Can someone advise me or help, I feel so lost without my love.

Mark75

I think you may want to step back and give her the space she needs to recover. Even if you had spotted it sooner, I don't know if you would have had the power to change the course of her addictions. Your in-laws, IDK, hard to say with what little information we have... And we only have your perspective.

If you are meant to be a couple, then it will happen. Hang in there! Let things develop and give her a chance to work through her own issues.

How long have you been in recovery?

MIRecovery

Great that you are staying sober for her she will need it. You will not be worth anything to anybody if you start using again.

I am confused as to how her family is not allowing a husband to speak with his wife in rehab? I can not see that is a decision that they can make.

Radio16

They wont tell me where she is and i have no way of finding out. They wont return my calls and her mother wont talk to me. What can I do? I am very distraught about this.

Radio16

I have been Sober since 2008

least

I don't understand how if she told you she wanted help, how did her family come to place her in rehab without your knowledge?

That's very confusing and must be frustrating to you. Can you search rehabs in your area in hopes of finding her? I find her family's actions to be selfish and cruel.

Fandy

i agree, that's pretty odd. As her husband, you are considered her next of kin. Perhaps the hospital admitting dept. can help you. Her family cannot legally hold her hostage, she's a grown adult with rights.

FreeFall

I would think her family would want someone on her side that loves her and has experienced quitting successfully. Makes no sense. Maybe they're the kind of people that never get over their daughter growing up and feel they're the only ones that can help her. It sounds destructive and unhelpful. Suggestion about contacting the admitting hospital was a good one...

missk27

Did you ever drink with her? Not meaning to sound mean, but maybe this is their reaction to everyone?

CherylT

I've found Al-anon very helpful in these situations.

Mark75

Did you ever give your in laws reason to feel that maybe they should keep you from her while she recovers?

Radio16

NEVER I TREAT HER LIKE A QUEEN. I HAVE PUT HER BEFORE ANY NEEDS I HAVE,WHEN I MARRIED HER IT WAS FOR BETTER OR WORSE ,SICKNESS AND HEALTH,TILL DEATH DO US PART.IVE never yelled at her gotten cross hit her nothing. We had a bottle of champagne on our wedding night and that was it. Question is can i involve the law if they are keeping her from me. Do i have any legal rights in Florida?

suki44883

You should speak with an attorney about this. That is the only way to know your rights and what you can do as far as achieving contact with your wife.

choublak

How old are you two?

MIRecovery

So why do you think the inlaws will not let you contact her?

Taking5

Call an attorney ASAP. I would file a missing person's report too, but you probably ought to talk to your attorney first.

Jitterbugg

As her husband, you have more legal rights regarding her welfare than her family does. Maybe you should try playing a little 'hardball' with the in-laws and inform them that you will take the matter up with authorities if they don't start to work with you.

Mark75

OK, one last question, and don't take this wrong, I assume nothing...

Could your wife have asked your in laws to not reveal where she is... I know you may not be able to answer that, but maybe that's a conversation you can have with them, if they will let you, that is.

justhadenough

I don't understand how she can't just call you.She is a grown woman. Please don't take this the wrong way but have you considered she may just want space for now.How were things when she went to rehab.Did shenot tell you where she was going.why did she get her in laws involved

Radio16

I am 48 and my baby is 32. I have spoken to a lawyer, he told me to contact the police but i dont ant to.make waves and upset my wife. Ill deal with it for now. Just need to know she is ok. Ive done nothing to make her family dislike me but her mom is a caniving, backstabbing bitch. She has been emotionally blackmailing my wife for years and i just found out a out it recently. I have to admit I really hate her mom for what she is doing to my sweetheart.