desertsong

I'm sober. Thank God. But my husband isn't. I'm filing for divorce after discovering that he is cheating and has been making plans to put my autistic child in a state home while I was in rehab.

I don't know this man anymore. He does not resemble in the least the man that I married. He is an active alcoholic who has a diseased brain ... I get that. But I can no longer subject myself and my children to this dysfunction.

Divorce is coming. He tells me he has people "spying" on me and giving him "daily reports" on my behavior. I'm scared but I also know that this is my time to shine. I will no longer be a victim to his bullying. He would like me to be drunk and incompetent on the couch so it will make him feel better about his own drinking. Not gonna happen. I have a new outlook, a new strength, and I am DONE with being bullied by him and his alcoholism.

I am rallying my troops. I will be facing the biggest challenge of my life over the next few weeks/months. I need you guys. Help me stay sober. There is too much at stake.

Dee74

You'll always find support here DS

I'm sorry for all the upheaval in your life but it seems to me this is the healthy choice for you and your family.

You can do this - and there'll be people here at your side when you need them

D

amy55

I need to say, I was in an abusive relationship for years, and oh well, what did I do with that, I self-medicated. When I did, I had all these terrific plans for what a wonderful life I could have once I left, but the drinking made me stay longer, it paralyzed me.

I kept telling myself that I would put down the drink, and start doing things to better myself, then I guess I sort of celebrated having made a final decision. Celebrating it was drinking some more, and guess what, it took me a really, really long time to do what I had to.

I got your back !!!!!!!!!!! Keep moving forward. You can only go backwards with a drink.

Lenina

((((desert song)))). He sounds very sick. Just keep doing the next right thing. SR is always here for you. Get legal counsel to help you feel more at ease and document the soon to be exh actions.

Love from Lenina

Hevyn

DS - I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I love your determination to stay sober and face this with a clear head. You can rise above all the drama he's creating and come out of it better than ever. He will be shocked to find out you remain sober and strong through it all.

Glad you posted about this - I hope it helps you to feel less anxious. I know everyone is going to jump in with words of wisdom, support, and hope.

Mark75

Shine on Desert Song!! You will make it through OK!!

MycoolFitz

All I can give you is my love. Shine on

IWillWin

Good for you!! Taking action and taking your life back is the right thing to do...

I know I speak for many others when I say we will be here to support you as you go through this difficult time

pipparina

I am so sorry you are going through this. But we've got your back. You stay close to us and we will help you through it.

Ragamuffin

You GOT this .

This IS your time to shine! Like Pip said we got your back.

CaiHong

Hi Desertsong,

Although you have a lot going on now, you sound very strong and I am sure you will get through this.

Love to you and your family
CaiHong

Pondlady

DS,
I just want to leap through the internet and give you a huge bear hug!!!!! I'm so proud of you How disgusting her looked into placing your child in a state home while you were in rehab. I'm sure he does want you drunk and on the sofa snoozing away....so he feels better about his poor choices.

Divorce is tough.....take baby steps and don't get overwhelmed. You deserve a good life for you and your children.

Zee

Hi DS... like everyone said here... we have got your back
I don't know about your legal system over where you are, but one thing I DO know... having a clear head will give you the biggest head start. One suggestion... write everything down, start a file, document everything. Big hugs xxx

Anna

DS, this is really sad to hear. I'm so glad you are sober and determined to do the right thing for yourself and your family.

Rosiepetal

We are well and truly here for you my friend.

OklaBH

I'm so proud of you. You're a tremendous person and mom! God bless you and your children. Keep posting. We care more than you know!

FreeFall

DS That's appalling that he would try to make major decisions about your child without you, when you were away trying to get better. Unacceptable under any circumstances. Sometimes divorce is the only answer and in your case it sounds like this might apply.

You sound like you're on a very clear path to be healthy to take care of you and your family. Stay the course, it's so important!! We're here!!

faceitandfixit

Here for you as well, DS. Every step of the way. Stay strong!

Elisabeth888

I am sorry you are going through this. But because you are sober, you are going to be able to handle things and cope so much better.

Delilah1

Desert Song,

You are an amazingly strong woman to make this decision for you and your children. I will be here on SR to support you and send virtual hugs. I hope you found some counselor s in rehab that you can still reach out to as well.

Are you able to take the kids and stay with a friend or family member? Having a clear and sober mind will definitely help we you move forward with the divorce. I am sorry that you are dealing with all of this.