I'm back. I messed up last night.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
The burning question for me is what was in your mind when you had those first drinks? Where was the memory of the last time and the consequences that ought to have deterred you from repeating a bad experience? With me, those thoughts never came. Was it like that with you?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Westerville oh
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by Mammyof3boys 
I'm not sure. I guess that's also why I'm posting. Other days I am so happy and proud I don't drink anymore. And other days I miss it, I honestly do.
I have talked myself out of it. I'm just so afraid of tomorrow.
I have talked myself out of it. I'm just so afraid of tomorrow.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 186
I can't tell you how much better I look and feel this morning. What a change. But I need that memory of throwing up (after placing my year old on the floor in his room with his bottle.) That terrible banging headache. All because I thought I could handle it. I can't!!!
I am an alcoholic.
I am an alcoholic.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 186
Originally Posted by Gottalife
The burning question for me is what was in your mind when you had those first drinks? Where was the memory of the last time and the consequences that ought to have deterred you from repeating a bad experience? With me, those thoughts never came. Was it like that with you?
And it's funny, I think a lot of us drink to enjoy life. And we wind up hungover or guilt ridden (or some even hospitalized). And where was the enjoyment? I don't even remember parts of the evening, I woke up wondering did I text someone anything stupid. Or did I call someone and not remember, if I did call someone and did they know I was drunk?
That panic and anxiety is not fun.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 186
Originally Posted by Delilah1
I am the mother of three too, and it is a big job. I have failed them and me many times. I am on day 11 right now and I have been on SR daily. I also have gone to my doctor and I am meeting with a counselor weekly.
You can't focus on yesterday, just move forward and forgive yourself. I really liked the principles on Women in Sobriety. I am using them to journal and to move forward.
Keep posting and reading, it has helped me.
You can't focus on yesterday, just move forward and forgive yourself. I really liked the principles on Women in Sobriety. I am using them to journal and to move forward.
Keep posting and reading, it has helped me.
Thanks for your support!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
