Change4life

Everyone said to go to AA so I did. been going for weeks, but it doesnt take away my desire for the drink in fact I have been drinking more. i leave there thinking omg another wasted hour. so now what???

suki44883

Do you have a sponsor? Are you working the steps? The program of AA is in the steps, not the meetings.

tomsteve

i amn glad to see you went to meetings. but it is important to know that going to meetings doesnt treat alcoholism.
if you wnt what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps.
do you want what we have?
are you willing to go to any lengths?

StrictScrutiny

I feel the same way. Going to meetings in early sobriety is very triggering, especially when there are a ton of similarities between the speaker and I. But, going to meetings is how I get out of my head for an hour. Listening to others makes me realize I'm not alone, I'm not crazy, and most importantly, that there are people out there who care about my recovery.

I still want to drink, don't get me wrong, but meetings, fellowship, my sponsor, and the steps help me find the tools to navigate my life without falling apart.

Positivefuture

Being sober is not easy it takes work everyday. Don't give up keep trying you are worth it and deserve a sober life.

duane1

If you don't make a commitment to stop drinking, AA isn't going to help much. I had my wife asking me to quit for 10 years and didn't really care. I didn't stop till I started having serious health problems. So you can quit now or do it the hard way.

DisplacedGRITS

you can go to all the meetings you want but you have to actually put the drink down. meetings aren't going to do diddly until you start doing the hard work. i went to rehab twice and relapsed both times (one of them while i was doing IOP, a mere week being out of rehab) because i wanted my hand held and wasn't willing to do the work myself.

so you're drinking. why? what do you have to do to quit? what is it going to take? what gets you to drinking and what can you to to break that cycle?

AA won't take away your desire to drink. AA is a program to help people gain sobriety and continue it. it's not a magic pill. do you work on your sobriety outside of AA? do you take time to identify your triggers and come up with ways to deal with them? when you relapse and drink, do you try to figure out what caused that to happen and come up with a plan on how to prevent that from happening again? if you are doing all that and still relapsing over and over have you considered rehab? again, it's not a magic bullet but it's a great place to educate yourself about your disease and how to deal with it. i hope you're able to come up with a plan that works for you.

Dee74

Hi Beth

you know how this stuff works...nothing and noone else could get me sober...I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink and my effort needed to reflect that.

If whatever you're doing at AA isn't working, you need to step it up...maybe you need another approach, maybe you need a rehab programme...maybe you need to commit to sponsorship and 12 steps.

Only you can answer those questions B.

Change it up a gear - what have you got to lose?

D

Natom

You have to want it. And you have to work it. To get it. I used to sit in NA meetings just thinking wow, I still feel like crap. All these people are banging on about serenity and higher powers. When I leave I am going to feel the same if not worse than when I came in. I went to meeting for about 18 months like this. Just turning up, didn't get a sponsor for 6 months. Then I got one and didn't bother working any steps. I relapsed, then relapsed again, and then again.

Then it clicked that I actually had to put some effort into my recovery. So I put some effort into it. I started connecting more in meetings. I told my sponsor I was going for it hardcore and I started working the steps, reading the literature, doing a bit of service and helping other addicts in a professional capacity occasionally. As a result I feel that I am in a much better head space. Works if you work it and all that.

hypochondriac

I know some people make it look like their desire to drink just fell away... I don't get that myself because I had to work damn hard to get rid of mine. I felt like I had to force myself to stop drinking and then spend all my time learning coping mechanisms and skills to deal with both life, and how not to start drinking again. I know that sitting in meetings while I was still drinking wouldn't have helped. I probably would of thought that I was wasting valuable drinking time! I found that my entire outlook changed when I stopped drinking. Maybe like how the AVRT stuff says 'don't bother trying to read this if you've been drinking', maybe the same applies to AA. Stop drinking and go when you're having strong cravings and don't know what to do with yourself sober, maybe then it'll help xxx

jakec

AA isn't for everyone.
There's other methods of recovery out there like AVRT.. I suggest doing some research.

Change4life

I know I need to do steps but I dont believe in all the higher power stuff which makes finding a sponsor hard cause I am a pain in arse that never listens. and maybe I should go to rehab, but in the end I end up drinking again. Alcohol is so embedded in my life style its ridiculous talking to people entertainment is what I do and without drink I cant do it. I become so introverted and I hate it, I never get drunk in public so people see me as just the really friendly personable caring person. im the hugger the one everyone can come to if they need a friend but if I dont have a few in me I am paranoid and really quiet. I feel like if I was sober I would actually be dissappointing everyone. I dont want to get sick thats for sure but I probably will. I dont eat and that makes gf really worry. shes the only one that worries...well my mom to but she worries about everything. maybe I need medication or somethinf but I refuse to take drugs. I dont know I guess I dont really want to quit but I dont like that I cant remember things and alcohol makes my sleeping pattern messed up I wake up in middle of night and do stuff with no recollection. I become abusive to gf cause I dont remember what I did and I blame her for everything. That is the main problem I dont want to mistreat her. it makes it hard to live with myself.

Dee74

I used to think that too - I actually played better sober...I was more in tune with my audience and the band.

Sure I got nervous but the nerves always go away with that first note

Don't fall for the rock star lie B - it's simply a licence for self destruction

D

Change4life

I tried playing sober and couldnt do it. Lost income and pissed off the band. They set up all the equipment and then couldnt do the gig without me. I left, just walked off stage. I felt so bad I ended up going home and drinking I should have stayed drank and finished job

Dee74

I'm sorry to hear that. Seems like you're convinced you'll never perform again sober.
I disagree, but there's only one way for you to find out which one of us is right.

In the end I had to decide whether I wanted to be a dead rock star or a live potential hasbeen.

It was a leap of faith. I didn't know who sober me would be, but who does? (and I mean really sober not just between drinks resting sober...I don't want to sound like a jerk but there is a difference)

As it turned out, I went back to music professionally - I found some sober guys who really cooked, and we moved away from clubs and bars...

but then I moved on from that too. Life is full of chapters.

Music still important to me but it's something I enjoy again and I do for fun - it's not a partner in something that's killing me.

D

RobC420

Well I think I found your problem. Come back when you're ready and willing. Good luck to you.

DisplacedGRITS

since when is disappointing people more important than your sobriety? how would you be disappointing people? i simply don't understand your reasoning here.

i also don't get this. you'll drink but you refuse to take drugs that could help you. why? why are you not giving yourself every chance to get sober? why aren't you willing to use the tools that are out there to help yourself? what's the reasoning behind all this? i think you're really stuck in a specific mind frame and you need to unstick yourself ASAP. stop throwing yourself under the bus and make some hard decisions that will affect a real change in your life. don't worry about disappointing other people to do something that will greatly benefit your sobriety. put your sobriety first. you have to do this for you because no one else is going to do it for you. as far as the drugs go, my personal experience has been very good now that i've been properly diagnosed. it took a little work to figure out what i needed but now that i'm on the right dose of this and that, it's been amazing. the drugs don't mask who i am like alcohol did. they help me be who i know i truly am. they help me tune out a lot of the clutter and negativity that is normally in my mind and clouds my inner self. perhaps you should at least investigate the matter.
i hope you're able to come up with a plan or get with a program that helps you. just be willing to shake things up a bit. doing the same thing over and over isn't going to help.

hypochondriac

I'm a pain in the arse who never listens too C4L. But stuff has to make sense to me for it to work. If you don't want to listen to anything and just drink, then that's your AV. But if other stuff makes sense why not try that rather than try to force yourself to fit AA. Have you looked into AVRT or SMART? x

instant

We can go to swimming lessons and not get in the water.

Nothing changes unless we are ready.

Change4life

I will try something other than AA thanks for advice hypo and all. My boat is sinking. I fell again TG no stiches this time. i got fired sat. drinking on the job! I feel really alone