MAlan

Hi. I've been lurkin through the posts here and have found some really awesome advise and stories! I had no idea what PAW was until I came here... and that changed EVERYTHING! I drank for about 7 years, the last 2 pretty hard! I tried to quit a few times but could not get over the "hump". Also, friends would always "pressure" me to drink (as if that wasn't our main social activity), or something to any degree of misfortune would occur, and I would cave pretty quick. This caused me to never really come out of the fog I had been living in for more than a few days at a time. I have really had some clarity reading on this forum...I learned that the same pattern I found myself in is the same as a lot of you guys and it's awesome to hear that there's a way to win the battle!

I'm 30, I had just graduated paramedic school (after being an EMT for 5 years) when I got a DUI. This made the year my toughest and drinking got HARD! A half pint of Sailor Jerry in the first 2 hours of a night then beer after. A party night consisted of drink after drink of anything until complete failure with little recollection afterward. My GF came over mon. night n we drank, thus ending a short attempt to "slow down" (the moderation game we all seem to play for a while). I dealt with the hangover as usual. The next day I decided I can't do this anymore. I've thought that before, but this time I decided it was true.
So... That first day was pretty standard. Shakes, body aches. CRAZY emotions, anxiety and worst of all an an-shakeable sense of impending doom... as if my life was never going to get better again. Had a misunderstanding with the ladyfriend and I made it into a god-forsaken phone war! Very irritable...
The next day felt better and I started chowin' down in the evening. I believe I consumed about 3000 calories yesterday.
Today I feel a lot better but... as with everytime I have put drinking on hold, the PAW symptoms are still around and this is the first time I have been aware of it! My brain is friggin useless. I can't remember what I walked in a room for. I have to really concentrate to get anything done. I'm listless. Not depressed, cause I'm hopeful and even excited for sobriety. Can't wait to start feelin' normal again!

DisplacedGRITS

hi MAlan and welcome to SR! i know all about walking into a room, looking around and just going "wait....wha?" still do it from time to time, lol! that brain fog lingers for a while but it'll get better. i hope your physical symptoms pass soon. don't pass on seeing a doctor if you feel you need to. mine was of great help! breaking through that cycle of sobering up just enough to get to drinking again is really difficult. i came here a lot to help myself break through. SR and AA really got me through in the beginning. that feeling of impending doom was so awful. for me, it was even worse than the anxiety. i'd be fine for a while then i'd be hit with this awful feeling that everything was just WRONG and that something horrible had happened or was going to happen...and for no reason whatsoever! the worst thing is i couldn't reason it out. i'm the type of person who likes to find the reason in stuff. i could always find a reason for my anxiety but the doom feeling just sprung out of nowhere. it passes though and it gets better and better the longer you're sober. i'm glad you found this place. i hope you find it as helpful for your sobriety as so many of us have for ours. keep coming back!

Thepatman

Welcome on board! 3 day is something to be proud of and a step in the right direction. Careful with feeling better, brought many of us back in the pit of hell.

Remember the lowest point you hit if you get the feeling you can control your drinking.

All the best!

MAlan

Thanks guys! Thepatman, you are right on as far as thinking I can control it! That's always the notion that gets me back into this garbage. And it always happens right when you start feeling better... I'd rather just feel better from now on...

NatalieN

Welcome Malan and congratulations on the wonderful decision to quit drinking. The next few days arent going to be a walk in the park but if you stay close to these boards we'll help you get through them.

Natalie

Thepatman

There is help out there to maintain your effort. AA works great for some, you can also lookup AVRT on google. Prepare to think differently about sobriety. ;-)

least

Welcome to the site!

Dee74

Hi Malan

welcome - If my experience is any guide I think what you're experiencing is just withdrawal

the P in PAWs stands for 'post' and it usually doesn't kick in for 30 days or more...but it can be a return of the same symptoms, so whatever you've read is definitely going to be useful

You can and will get through this

D

Toss

Welcome to the board!

Today is day 7 for me and most of what you described I experienced this last week. I also decided I did not want to feel or "be" the drinking person I had become (again). This week was fairly easy emotionally, but from my other periods of sobriety (2 years, then 14 months), the hard part is in front of us.

Good luck and keep reading and posting, it really does help.

Toss

artsoul

Hi MAlan and congratulations on making a great decision! I learned a lot by coming here, too, and it's such a relief to realize it's not just you - there's a lot of people out there who know what you're going through.

Glad you're here - there's definitely life after alcohol!