Reborn10142012

Hey everybody. I actually joined this forum under a different name about a year or so ago with the same intentions. At the time I was engaged and living in a house we bought together. I'm 25 years old soon to be 26 next month. Maybe it's the other side of 20 that is making me see the light. I'm not sure. In any event I was supposed to get married October 6th 2012 of this year. Well from December 2011 to February 2012 I was able to stay sober from alcohol without A.A. or really the help of anyone. My fiance was drinker, say 2-3 nights a week. In any event I had little to no support from her for my problem. Granted I can't say I was dependent on alcohol like some alcoholics but most certainly a destructive binge drinker. We avoided going out together to bars or clubs of any kind because the end result would likely be me in some sort of altercation. (I have been in several. In fact arrested for punching a cop in the face after being thrown out of a club.) Never the less I think she felt like I was less fun by not drinking which in a way was true. Never the less I relapsed at the end of February and the flood gates were open. We ended up splitting up and selling the house. For the record there were several factors in the break up. We just weren't meant for each other it wasn't necessarily alcohol based but it certainly didn't help the cause lets just say that. Following the break up I was truly devastated. I moved back home with my parents and started frequenting bars with my "friends." After a full summer full of this which included me being thrown out of establishments over five times and passing out even before arriving at the bar. In addition to going into fits of rage and driving my car while completely over the limit I came to my senses and realize I AM NOT A NORMAL DRINKER.

No matter how hard I try to convince myself and give myself chance after chance I put myself into dangerous risky situations. Like the rest of you I have a laundry list of embarrassing tales to tell of my drinking. Even though I never got to the point of dependency I was starting to crack a bottle open in the morning on Sunday and missed work once or twice recently on Monday because I didn't exactly want to see the weekend conclude... In other words I could see where this was going and I want to liberate my soul from the devil that is alcohol. I'm finished, through, DONE with this crap. I told my parents about my problem since I'm living at home now and alerted my "friends." It's funny you really find out who your real friends are when the alcohol goes bye bye. "Friends" and "Drug buddies" are different. Alcohol is a drug and when the only thing keeping a relationship alive and well is a common bond of alcohol... Then that's all you have are drug buddies. I'd rather have one or two REAL friends then a bunch of drug buddies.

Sorry for the rant but I figured I'd get it all out there! In addition to all this a few details about myself... I work a crappy job at an automotive shop but I'm in college in the Paralegal program. I did the Paralegal program because it's 2 years long and I wanted to get into a field quickly with pressure coming from my then fiance. Now that I'm a free man from her and alcohol and the love I gained from learning about the law I've decided I'm transferring to a 4 years school and majoring in Political Science and setting my aim on law school following that! I'm more determined then ever to meet my goals and live up to the potential I know I have!

Dee74

welcome back to SR reborn

D

ru12

Welcome! What do you plan to do now to stay quit? Lots of people like AA, SMART Recovery, Rational Recovery, Life Ring . . . there really are many options. Some find that just putting down the bottle and getting on with life works for them too. Congratulations on your decision to stop. It really looks like alcohol was no friend to you.

Reborn10142012

Definitely not a friend to me, you got that right. I have been reading the A.A. book which I'm about 70 pages into. I've driven to 2 meetings so far but lacked the courage to go in. I'm going in next time though. I didn't really like what I saw on the outside... Looked like a lot of "kids" that were sent there by the judge... If you know what I mean. I'm going to try a meeting in a more affluent area where I think there will be more sincerity in the meeting.