Thepatman

Sometimes we have drinked for so long and hang with people that drink that we forgot what life can be without.

I think time is key as everyone here know. Time to have enough positive memories sober.

And that's all I have to say about that.
Forest Gump

Choppersled

Welcome Tina! Congrats on coming here and asking around, there are some great people here.

Sasha4

No in my mind it makes me think a couple of things that may help you

1. Thats your addicitve thoughts and inner voices - convincing you how miserable it is going to be not drinking. You may also experience thoughts such as 'I have done so well, a whole two weeks without a drink. There is no way I must have a drink problem, a few will not hurt'

2. You need to think 'just today I won't have a drink'. Just take it one day at a time. Thinking of the rest of your days without a drink is too far in the future.

3. It's progress not perfection. For me declaring I won't ever drink again in my life time is too much. I might fail. I might not, but I might. So to say just today I won't drink is do-able. In 10 years time i might be drinking again. I can't worry about that. All I can commit to is not drinkng today. That is my first thought everyday. I can do one day, I don't know if I can do 10 years.

4.Have a look at AVRT (I think that is what it is called) and I am sure others can advise you there. It might help you understand these strange, but very, very common thoughts.


XX

ricmcc

Just a few words to welcome and hpefully reassure you. I think that it is a perfectly normal human reaction to be nervous when starting anything new, however positive that thing might be, so don't feel upset at being scared just now: i really think it will pass. One thing that helped me is that I found the group of people here to be incredibly welcoming and supportive; you will too. I was fortunate enough to be the primary care giver to my now 11yr old daughter from ages one to present, although she does, rightly to a degree I suppose, consider herself to be herself to be her own primary care giver now--incredible how quickly they grow. I mention this only to say that every parent does understand what you mean by finding looking after kids being a little less than stimulating at times--i recall fantasies revolving around Barney being set upon by ravenous raptors, or the teletubies coming to a sad intergalatic end. Sesame Street I did kind of like, that is here nor there. You mention the relatively small amount that you drink, which is good to a point, by I have always felt that problem drinking is not defined so much by amount as by reason for drinking, and the consequences of drink--just my opinion, by no means to be taken as ant ulimate truth. As to your husband's drinking, wait and see whether it does become a problem--stressing out about things before they occur serves no purpose, and it seems that you already have more than your fair share a stressors--I cannot imagine how people get through repeated operations, so you have already demostrated great strength, which will be a great asset. As I have mentioned, this is a great group of people, so never feel shy about asking for help. Best of luck to you, hope to read many of your posts----Rick

tmarieg

I feel more awful as each day passes. I worry its not going to get easier, and its been 10 days. I am never hungry, and feel nauseated all the time. And anxious. And so so cranky. And crying over dumb stuff. Last night my son wouldnt eat the chicken I made (his favorite) and I threw a dishtowel and ran out of the room crying. I felt like such an a-hole, because he felt terrible. I feel like sh$#.

I was working out to take my mind off things but I dont have any energy to work out anymore with my lack of eating. Sorry I keep bit%$ing, I need to talk this out somewhere.

Sasha4

The early days are really hard.
It does get easier, but it takes time.

I can completely empathise with what you are saying and describing.
I had a lot of early nights in the first few weeks, or went out for a drive with loud music on, even pounded the pavements at night to get rid of anger and fustration.

Drinking won't make it go away - your son will still refuse his chicken. My daughter will still splash water all over me when she is in the bath. My grandma who is 96 years old will still rant and rave about the people parking outside her house for 2 hours non stop on the phone!

Maybe try make your life easier for this hard bit.
Lots of early nights, relaxing baths, take aways for meals if you can so no cooking? it's not forever.


It will get easier and as your days stack up, it becomes stranger to think that you sat and drank every evening away. For me noe at 251 days, not drinking is the norm and believe me when I say I never ever thought that would never happen.

You are doing so well and it is something really worth well.
Keep coming here and keep reading and posting.

My very best to you xxxx

tmarieg

Thanks all. Its been two weeks now and I am still doing well. Just trying to keep myself busy to not think about it. It is harder with the holidays coming up. Plus I tend to drink more in the winter, I think from my seasonal depression and being more stuck indoors from the weather.

I hope I can stay strong.

Tina

freshstart57

It sounds like you are doing just fine, Tina. Two weeks is great!

There is a reason from your posts that folks have been suggesting learning more about this alcoholic voice we struggle with when we first decide to quit. You are reporting all the favorite lines the AV uses. 'I'm bored without alcohol, I deserve a drink, it will be OK if I only have a glass of wine or two every once in a while, I'm not ready to quit drinking, I can't quit drinking now, I am afraid of not drinking,'. All this is the voice of your addiction speaking to you, using all your doubts and fears and wants just to keep you drinking, no matter what it does to you and your family.

Make your thinking brain separate from your drinking brain, and tell yourself that all those thoughts of drinking again someday, and doubt in your ability, all come from your Alcoholic Voice. Believe in your heart of hearts that you truly can quit drinking, because you can, you see. We all can, but we have to believe in ourselves first. You can quit drinking, Tina, life is so much better sober. Keep posting, OK?