Reward myself with booze...why?
 

I take a day off from drinking. I feel great and have had a productive day...and what do I want to do but reward myself with a drink....wtf .....

you don't want to do that your AV does.

it's a force of habit, addiction, whatever you call it.

it's not logical, it's not making any sense... that's why we are here to help each other though the process.
otherwise it would be easy AND simple.

It is the nature of alcoholism. You need to get in the mindset of taking a life time off of drinking a day at a time

Ya i hear you and agree...im think im just irritated and needed to vent

Try and think of different ways of rewarding yourself! I am struggling with this as well! You are in the right place, lots of support here!

It makes perfect sense in a way, for many years that's how I rewarded myself for anything. It's a hard habit to break. Early in sobriety I actually had to write a list to remind myself of other ways!

Read the book

Get to a meeting

Call your sponsor

God damn it it's freakin easy bro
You could have done those things instead of "reward" yourself with a drink

I'm personally compensating with food, I try healthy as much as possible. But sometimes dill pickle chips do the trick ;-)
I stopped drinking also, I prefer behing a fat sober man then a skinny drunk! LOL

Well, I did that a lot.
And gosh, how flippin' insane!!!!
If you were to drive across the country and not get a ticket, your reward would be......
TURN AROUND AND SPEED ALL THE WAY HOME WITH COP CARS LINED UP BEHIND YOU ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please go buy yourself a nice gift tomorrow. Take a friend to a fancy lunch instead!
NO DRINK!!

it's the alcoholic brain at work. the alcoholic voice speaking loudly. when i'm going though an especially tense or difficult experience i still have that part of me that wants to get smashed to "make my problems go away" even though the rational part of me knows this is a lie. right now, the alcoholic voice in you is so much stronger than your rational voice. it's like the muscle that's been working out and getting strong for so long and is really powerful. the rational voice is a muscle that's been ignored for a long time and it really weak. you've gotta keep working out that rational voice so it's as strong as your alcoholic voice and when you keep working it out and ignoring your alcoholic voice, your rational voice eventually becomes the stronger one. it takes time and practice but it will come. just keep working out.

Amen to that! Two weeks ago I was barely forcing down *maybe* half a meal a day. Now I am usually eating um, way over what I should be, but I figure I need it, at least a lil bit.

I really did forget how much I actually LOVE food and eating. Used to think of it more of a chore than anything, really...lol life is good.

Manja, manja! :a122:

Disgracedgrits, I love your post, makes alot if sense, simple I like that. Sounds like AvRt ;-)