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quitforme79 10-18-2012 01:26 PM

question about cravings
I am having cravings almost daily but usually after work which is when I would start drinking. Today, I've had a bunch of them. I went to aa past 2 nights (going again tonight) & have asked a bunch of people when this feeling goes away. I got the same answer: It's different for everyone. My sponser said maybe I'm not truly ready or haven't accepted that i can't ever drink again. And I can't think of "for the rest of my life" , just in today. Is it normal to still be obsessing about alcohol after a month sober? Does anyone have a time frame?

Dee74 10-18-2012 01:59 PM

I don't know about anyone else but it was normal for me to have cravings at one month Quit :)

Have you tried Urge Surfing? That helped me :)


MrsKing 10-18-2012 02:00 PM

Yeah... I think it does vary from person to person.

I struggled with wanting alcohol until I was about 3 months sober. I know that you go to AA so don't take this as though I'm trying to convert you type of comment, because I'm not, but it stopped gradually once I started using AVRT.

Keep going... get through them. Try not to stress about them too much and don't argue with them. Recognise them for what they are and let them go. Each time you get through them it will get easier.

least 10-18-2012 02:05 PM


maybe I'm not truly ready or haven't accepted that i can't ever drink again

I don't feel that cravings are related to being 'ready' or 'accepting', they are just feelings we get from our addiction trying to feed itself. I still had cravings at three months but they went away when I started practicing gratitude on a daily basis.:) Now at nearly three years I rarely get cravings to drink and on the odd occasion that I do, the feelings are easily dismissed.

Give yourself time. Practice gratitude. Treat yourself well. Stay sober and things should start to smooth out.:hug:

serious 10-18-2012 02:06 PM

"i'd rather be sober thinking about getting drunk, than being drunk thinking about getting sober"
love this quote, really puts things in perspective for me.

urges are not that big a deal (annoying, yes). they will get less strong as time goes on, until you'll be able to brush them off as a passing thought.

best thing to do is to find a new activity/hobby to fill your time, when you'd normally drink.
how about going to the gym after work?

quitforme79 10-18-2012 02:54 PM

Thanks guys...all really helpful advice. 90 days has been in my head for some reason too. I started exercising so that's good. I also started reading a book about gratitude w daily exercises. Guess i gotta just keep on keeping on & trust in the process :)

instant 10-18-2012 03:00 PM

In my experience this is normal and has nothing to do with a desire for abstinence. The alcohol addiction is a biological state and it takes a while for all that to settle down. The Big Book talks about the "obsession" being lifted. I had very driven thinking for some time, always thinking about alcohol and the whole recovery issue. It really settled at around 90 days.

I have not had a craving for a long time- they go away in time.

Listen to the opinions of many- and sort amongst them. Only you know of your motivations.

quitforme79 10-18-2012 07:26 PM

So true instant (about the opinions). I know what you mean about the big book. Someone in AA last night said that it happened to her---the hand of God touched her and she hasn't craved since. Well I'll be jolly but I can't depend on that happening. There's a lot more work I need to do than just praying although I have been daily.

Thanks for the link Dee! It really is helpful. I have been reading a lot about mindfulness and it's something I really want to start doing. In all aspects of life I think it can be helpful.

Mrs King---I don't think you're trying to convert me hehe I am open to anything that may help so thank you :) I did read AVRT awhile ago and I will check it out again. Even if I get one thing from it, it can be useful.

pipparina 10-18-2012 07:32 PM

The desire to drink wasn't lifted for me until maybe a year? It has nothing to do with being ready to stop. Don't listen to that bs. Someone said that to me early on "maybe your not ready yet and you should go back and drink some more". I found that a pretty hateful thing to say to a person.

But it was lifted. Just hang in there. Keep doing what your doing and just don't drink.

To make you laugh, when I hit 5 years, I thought I was going to be let into the secret where we get to drink to celebrate. How crazy is that? So I think some of that insanity stays with us

Sapling 10-18-2012 07:39 PM

Somewhere working on my ninth step...Just like the book promised would happen. That was somewhere around 80 or 90 days for me. The obsession was just gone...Like they said would happen.

quitforme79 10-18-2012 07:47 PM

Thanks sapling :)

quitforme79 10-18-2012 07:51 PM

Hahaha pipparina, that's classic! Yeh someone at a meeting tonight also said to me that maybe I am not ready because I have to tell myself I will never drink again in order to get thru it. All I can say right now is for today. I am having a huge issue w projecting but I don't WANT to go back out. If I did, I wouldn't be going to meetings, coming on here and asking so many questions, you know? I know they say "take what you need and leave the rest." So that's what I shall do. I am determined to hang in there and look forward to 90 days. I marked it in my planner today 1) because I am anal like that and 2) it makes me smile when I think of it and it's something I really look forward to.

FreeFall 10-18-2012 09:31 PM

I found urge surfing completely helpful too. Also, a little of the AVRT stuff. The idea that you can ride out the cravings, and think the consequences all the way through to stop the impulses have been very effective for me. I don't do AA, but the idea you have to say it's forever in the beginning of recovery wouldn't work for me either. I'm just past the 90 days and starting to wrap my mind around the concept of never again, but I couldn't have done that at all early on. Cravings have definitely subsided over time, but they will flare up for me every time there's a "special occasion". I've gotten used to it and am getting better at ignoring them. You're doing great, just keep going forward :)

DisplacedGRITS 10-18-2012 09:45 PM

i was still craving a lot around my 30 days but the shift was happening. when i made it past 30 days and i didn't throw myself the "party" i had started planning was kind of a big deal. when personal accountability went from being two words strung together to something i really understood and became important to me. that's when my urges started to leave me. my urges lessened as my pride in my accomplishments started to grow. i found that my urges were really a general self destructive nature i had because i didn't like who i had become. as i trended towards becoming someone i liked and respected, i wanted to hurt myself less. that was, and continues to be, my experience.

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