backbeat

Thank you for all your replies and support. I love this forum. A very big part of my recovery is due to my job performance. I'm also just in a lot of pain over what I've done to myself in general - my health is ok but I really don't feel 100%, I was already told I had a fatty liver and kept drinking anyway. I have stomach problems, GERD, all that fun stuff. I've gained 100 lbs., most of it from drinking. I can't have 1 or 2, I drink until I black out. I say stupid things and have no filter and start fights. I could drink for 12 hours easily. In 1 night after work, on a work night, I would drink close to a pint of whiskey and 2-3 six packs. I sleep most of the next day and sometimes am still drunk when I wake up. I am sick for days after I drink.

And yet, whether or not I would quit even with all that is up for debate but if I lose my job I am finished. I'll lose my house and everything else. I'd literally be on the street.