Admitting defeat
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Down under
Posts: 84
Admitting defeat
For a long time I had a major resentment towards AA due to its emphasis on powerlessness and unmanageability. Having found personal empowerment again after being trapped in an abusive relationship, I did not want to be `powerless'; I wanted to recognize my strengths and give myself permission to be a human being who, although not perfect, was doing the best in life that she could.
However, alcohol has me well and truly licked. I'm tired of the fight and will do anything, ANYTHING to escape from its clutches.
I therefore have a confession to make: My name is Community Dawn and I'm powerless over alcohol.
Back on day one.
However, alcohol has me well and truly licked. I'm tired of the fight and will do anything, ANYTHING to escape from its clutches.
I therefore have a confession to make: My name is Community Dawn and I'm powerless over alcohol.
Back on day one.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
I'm not an AA guy but I have no problem in admitting I'm powerless over alcohol - I proved it often enough over 20 years.
Funny thing is, once I admitted that, I got a lot of other power back....power to be a good man, power to help others, power to have a purposeful life, power to follow my dreams.
I'm still powerless over alcohol but I've discovered I'm a very powerful person - we all are...I've just lost that 100 pound ball and chain I was dragging around with me in life
maybe try to think of this not as a defeat but an empowerment?
D
Funny thing is, once I admitted that, I got a lot of other power back....power to be a good man, power to help others, power to have a purposeful life, power to follow my dreams.
I'm still powerless over alcohol but I've discovered I'm a very powerful person - we all are...I've just lost that 100 pound ball and chain I was dragging around with me in life
maybe try to think of this not as a defeat but an empowerment?
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by CommunityDawn 
However, alcohol has me well and truly licked. I'm tired of the fight and will do anything, ANYTHING to escape from its clutches.
I therefore have a confession to make: My name is Community Dawn and I'm powerless over alcohol.
I therefore have a confession to make: My name is Community Dawn and I'm powerless over alcohol.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
I often think of my powerlessness over alcohol like me being the driver of a runaway train i see it going dissapearing round the bend as i'm stood on the platform .
It only takes one drink to eject me from the locomotive onto the platform and then i'm never sure if it will roll to a halt safely or charge off and become a wreck .
As for life being unmanageable, well if we have another 1929 wall st crash , no matter how hard we try or how nice we are we might still find ourselves unemployed through no fault of our own , or no matter how carefully we walk down the street or drive it dosn't account for the other nutters on the road .
For me, those thoughts helped me understand the terms .
Bestwishes, M
It only takes one drink to eject me from the locomotive onto the platform and then i'm never sure if it will roll to a halt safely or charge off and become a wreck .
As for life being unmanageable, well if we have another 1929 wall st crash , no matter how hard we try or how nice we are we might still find ourselves unemployed through no fault of our own , or no matter how carefully we walk down the street or drive it dosn't account for the other nutters on the road .
For me, those thoughts helped me understand the terms .
Bestwishes, M
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Yeah step one is two parts....The unmanageability they talk about on page 52 in the big book....
We had to ask ourselves why we shouldn't apply to our human problems this same readiness to change our point of view. We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people....
When I met my sponsor....I just went up to him after a meeting and asked him to take me through the steps as laid out in the book.....We went and had coffee and talked....I was still shaking and baking.....He said to me....You have no power and you need a new manager....He was right.
We had to ask ourselves why we shouldn't apply to our human problems this same readiness to change our point of view. We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people....
When I met my sponsor....I just went up to him after a meeting and asked him to take me through the steps as laid out in the book.....We went and had coffee and talked....I was still shaking and baking.....He said to me....You have no power and you need a new manager....He was right.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,361
A diabetic has to admit his/her powerlesnes over sugar right?
Why is addiction any different?
Poeple dont give crap about not taking sugar....or milk
So. Giving crap over not taking alcohol or booze is just......lame
Why is addiction any different?
Poeple dont give crap about not taking sugar....or milk
So. Giving crap over not taking alcohol or booze is just......lame
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Originally Posted by CommunityDawn
.
I therefore have a confession to make: My name is Community Dawn and I'm powerless over alcohol.
Back on day one.
I therefore have a confession to make: My name is Community Dawn and I'm powerless over alcohol.
Back on day one.
Do not lose hope!
P.S. My name is MidnightBlue. I am powerless over alcohol. Trying to make it through
my Day 4.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
There was poster who had something along the lines 'the only winning move is not to play' or something to that effect, on his handle- it's a great concept
Add alcohol to our biology does not lead to a good result, that will never change no matter how much "willpower" we have.
Add alcohol to our biology does not lead to a good result, that will never change no matter how much "willpower" we have.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
when i stopped trying to exert my will over alcohol, when i turned to alcohol and admitted my defeat to it and decided that i would instead simply not engage it anymore, i freed myself from the shackles that it had set over my life. what i came to realize is that giving up is not giving in. admitting my powerlessness gave me the opportunity to stop fighting that fight and concentrate my endeavors on something else. to be strong in the fight to no longer engage. a fight i could finally win.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orillia, Ont., Canada
Posts: 165
I fully agree with Coming Clean--with any other health issue seeking treatment would be considered to be the raational thing to do, not a sign of weakness. If you had cancer, i doubt that you would see chemo or radiation therapy as a negative thing. Best of luck to you, and try to remember that having a slip, so long as it remains just a slip is like making any mistake---it makes you a human, not a bad human---take care, Rick
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Vancouver BC Canada
Posts: 384
Hey Community
I think a lot of people have posted already on major chunks of step 1 and yup its two parts, powerless over alcohol and how life is unmanageable if I continue to drink.
In the Big Book you can read how people who can manage and be empowered over all sorts of affairs and situations in their life quite well could not do so with alcohol.This had to strike home to me a few times before it sunk in. The evidence showed for itself that my will power and self will and rational mind knew I was in peril yet I drank. My mind couldn't handle it and my body couldn't leave it alone. I was so sure I could take this cunning and baffling thing on and win...but I kept losing and the loses got worse over each decade and year. Every white knuckled run at sobriety left me defeated , ashamed , confused , depressed and utterly crushed. Its was like I was doing the same experiment time after time with the same results yet expecting a different outcome....insanity.
My denial and stubbornness had me continue losing a long time till I ran out of will and fight and the only answer was to admit defeat. I had no more power on my drinking once I started than I did on the weather. The only option I saw was to concede defeat as I wasn't sure I'd make it through another round. A good commander knows sometimes admitting defeat and retreat is the best option to win the overall war. I couldn't see that or much else in my tunnel vision.
My life and my thinking was totally unmanageable as insanity crept in ...fear , paranoia , anxiety , anger , resentment ...all sorts of imagined stuff. Everything was black or white and I drove myself nuts on all sorts of things.
AA and the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions has much more than just the powerlessness and unmanageable aspect of step 1. In fact every step after is about regaining much more , perhaps even more than we ever had during the drinking days. Step 1 is just that , one step of 12. I believe I had it on my first step into AA and stepped out once just to prove I had it right the first time and lost a few years. This time I am sold on step 1 completely and feel no humiliation from it at all , just the humility that I am like a lot of other folks. I had enough humiliation in fighting it.
Go to a few AA meetings , the cost is cheap , known as free , you don't have to do anything , and just get an idea about what AA is and what perhaps it isn't. You can always leave if you don't like it. I sure thought one thing about AA before I got there and its a lot different than I thought it would be after getting back.
I think a lot of people have posted already on major chunks of step 1 and yup its two parts, powerless over alcohol and how life is unmanageable if I continue to drink.
In the Big Book you can read how people who can manage and be empowered over all sorts of affairs and situations in their life quite well could not do so with alcohol.This had to strike home to me a few times before it sunk in. The evidence showed for itself that my will power and self will and rational mind knew I was in peril yet I drank. My mind couldn't handle it and my body couldn't leave it alone. I was so sure I could take this cunning and baffling thing on and win...but I kept losing and the loses got worse over each decade and year. Every white knuckled run at sobriety left me defeated , ashamed , confused , depressed and utterly crushed. Its was like I was doing the same experiment time after time with the same results yet expecting a different outcome....insanity.
My denial and stubbornness had me continue losing a long time till I ran out of will and fight and the only answer was to admit defeat. I had no more power on my drinking once I started than I did on the weather. The only option I saw was to concede defeat as I wasn't sure I'd make it through another round. A good commander knows sometimes admitting defeat and retreat is the best option to win the overall war. I couldn't see that or much else in my tunnel vision.
My life and my thinking was totally unmanageable as insanity crept in ...fear , paranoia , anxiety , anger , resentment ...all sorts of imagined stuff. Everything was black or white and I drove myself nuts on all sorts of things.
AA and the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions has much more than just the powerlessness and unmanageable aspect of step 1. In fact every step after is about regaining much more , perhaps even more than we ever had during the drinking days. Step 1 is just that , one step of 12. I believe I had it on my first step into AA and stepped out once just to prove I had it right the first time and lost a few years. This time I am sold on step 1 completely and feel no humiliation from it at all , just the humility that I am like a lot of other folks. I had enough humiliation in fighting it.
Go to a few AA meetings , the cost is cheap , known as free , you don't have to do anything , and just get an idea about what AA is and what perhaps it isn't. You can always leave if you don't like it. I sure thought one thing about AA before I got there and its a lot different than I thought it would be after getting back.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Welcome Community Dawn!
Taking that first step is hard! I have been to two AA meetings this past week, one meeting tonight through my insurance, and one meeting with my counselor. I think having to verbalize "I am an alcoholic." Was difficult, but forced me to come to terms with what I knew in my heart and head was the truth, yet wasn't willing to accept. I am only on day 7, and I am taking it one day at a time.
I have found this site to be a lifeline in the evenings when I normally would have wine.
Taking that first step is hard! I have been to two AA meetings this past week, one meeting tonight through my insurance, and one meeting with my counselor. I think having to verbalize "I am an alcoholic." Was difficult, but forced me to come to terms with what I knew in my heart and head was the truth, yet wasn't willing to accept. I am only on day 7, and I am taking it one day at a time.
I have found this site to be a lifeline in the evenings when I normally would have wine.
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