Anna

I honestly think it's best if you focus on your children in this situation and allow your husband to deal with his addiction. Your children need you to protect them.

There are pain clinics in most cities where he find alternatives. Physiotherapy is a good option, yoga can help, chiropractors can often help with pain, too.

MIRecovery

None of this is your problem. He is dangerous, he is selling drugs, he almost killed one of your childred. Talk to the people at his Rehab and get recommendations from a professional and check out Alanon or the narcotics equivalent. I really do not think it makes a differance. Addiction is addiction

knarfia

You're right. I've been duped into thinking I need to support him, I'm starting to see that's just not how it works. He's the only one who can deal with his addiction, and here I am worrying about him and going on and on about him while my kids are being babysat by the tv. Think it's time to get off of here and get on with life. But thanks so much, everything said here was just exactly what I needed to hear. All the best to you all.

justhadenough

We are always here if you need to talk

silly

Very true. Let's not lose sight of the fact that he's selling drugs.

If the whole family thinks you're being so mean, they should let him live with them and deal drugs from their front steps. If you're so terrible, they should be welcoming him with open arms. (but they aren't, are they?)

Do you believe you and your boys should live your lives in pain because he is dealing drugs and abusing drugs?

silly

We all want so much for you and your children.

we speak only from an addict view point... but it IS probably a good one for you....

escapist

I am new here. I am an alcoholic. The last time I got sober was the result of a DUI arrest. Jail is a great motivator. Anyway, I stayed clean for five years. You say he's selling? He may get caught and then he can re-hab in jail. I don't know of anyone can charm , cops, a prosecuter, and a judge. The universe has a way of making us straighten up one way or another. Above ground or beneath it. Hang on to your babies. You sound like you have a lot of love

Lost3000

This is a really good question. And I'm lucky in that I haven't had to deal with it yet. But it will come eventually. And -- it's not your problem. You can't control him, you know? He needs to figure this stuff out. I just hope you focus on your kids, because who's looking out for them? They can't do it themselves.

knarfia

The lies are just never ending! I gave him an ultimatum- residential rehab or divorce. He tried to talk me into the outpatient program that the VA offers, I said no way. He was supposedly there for a few days when I got a call from a counselor who wanted to know if it's true that I wanted him to do outpatient! So apparently he was just calling me every day pretending he was in residential. So I tacked on a new requirement: complete residential treatment and tell his family the truth about his "Bronze Star"- the Army award that he lied about receiving, even going so far as to forge the documents, and throwing me into it without warning. The agreement was that I needed to be there when he told them, otherwise it didn't count. He did it without me. So now I've told him I'm not talking to him until he's actually out of rehab. But isn't that just so ridiculous? He keeps messing up, I keep punishing, he keeps getting out of punishments, so I just come up with new ones? I'm really starting to feel like this isn't worth saving.