Mizzuno

Good Morning Ken
Plan B didnt happen so lets try plan B again. Please don't beat yourself up to much on this one. You had some time under you....Maybe this next go round will be more time than the previous. This is not a race to be won, this is not "You letting people down", this is not anybody else's journey but yours. You have proven to yourself already that you can remain sober. I know that you can do this.
Living with another individual who uses is difficult. It sounds like the 2 of you need to sit down and talk about what is "healthy" in the house and what is "detrimental". I am not putting your behaviors onto him. It is not his fault. I am saying that recovery needs all on board. Having your partner in your corner on this journey, IMO, is very important. If my partner didn't support my decision we would be having some serious conversations.....My health and life is valuable.
Did you reach out to anyone when the thoughts of walking to the bar came to mind? What might you be able to do differently next time this comes up?

RobbyRobot

Yeah, I was hoping you would say that!
Awesome!

Weasel1966

I had a good cry. Let it go. Moving on.

My sponsor called me back. I called him to reach out.

I am going to my meeting tonight. I am going to tell people what I did. I will own it. I will move on.

He said all the right things to me. You all have said all the right things.

He said it is not about me. It's about we.

If nothing else my resolve has kicked it up a notch.

Mark75

Right on!!

It made me crazy early on when my wife had her nightly one tall white wine spritzer... So much, so many layers... It was confusing. The whole pallet of resentment, urges, self pity, fear for the relationship, on and on... I think it was the most disconcerting part of early sobriety.

Now I hardly notice when she or anyone else has a drink.

NewHouse2012

Weasel, it is just really good to see your original post unfolding from being in a sad spot of despair and regret, to one that is slowly being one of hope, healing and redemption. It felt bad to read your first post this morning, but looking at the progression of this thread since then, shows me that you do have fight in you! You are just learning as we all are. JUst have to get back up and continue on as much as it hurts, as much as it painfully hurts. We are with you buddy.

coming_clean

In early recovery it's hard when you're partner is using alcohol or drugs or sigs.
Just focus on yourself.
If you're love is strong enough you can make it.

Weasel1966

It is very strong. A dedication to each other that goes beyond words. But it also has to be a contract between us. We both need to do the right thing. He does not drink when I don't. But if I weaken he goes with it. I told him this is unacceptable. It's a deal breaker so he better get his ass in gear.

I will not give him my energy. If you know what I mean.

K

MIRecovery

Cunning, baffling, and Powerful.

King alcohol handed me my ass more times than I count. My sponsor would tell me, "If your ass falls off come to a meeting and we will put it back on."

The important things is that you are back in the saddle pissed off and ready to do battle. It is possible, not easy but it can be done a day at a time. Sounds like you are doing what you need to in order to stay sober today. Congrats!!!!

coming_clean

A near-sober partner is a must for me.
My gf drinks alcohol once a month or so, one or two beverages.
She does not smoke, or do drugs.
I failed badly with every other (using) girl.

to be hones tough; i'm the problem, not one of my ex partners.