So lonely
So lonely
I have been single for 7 years!!! I have dated but nothing long term in 7 damn years. I have horrible self esteem. I want someone to be here with me, to help me out. I have 2 kids and I am overworked and just tired of my life. I like my girlfriends but I would so much rather hang out with men. I think that I have become a little desperate and men can see it from a mile away. Why did it come to this? Why are no men interested in me? Yes I have problems but doesn't everyone?
A strange post for this site, but just guessing that alcohol abuse and my issues go hand in hand.
A strange post for this site, but just guessing that alcohol abuse and my issues go hand in hand.
I think it's really important to rebuild our self esteem before we try to tackle any kind of relationship. Otherwise, we're still looking "out there" to solve our problems or fill a void, just like we did with alcohol.
It's good when you can get in touch with what you're feeling/thinking. After I got sober, I realized that a lot of my need to escape was because I was always telling myself negative things that were self-defeating. One you learn to be a friend to yourself, I think the rest will fall into place.
It's good when you can get in touch with what you're feeling/thinking. After I got sober, I realized that a lot of my need to escape was because I was always telling myself negative things that were self-defeating. One you learn to be a friend to yourself, I think the rest will fall into place.
It's once you get rid of that self-sabotage thing too. I used to moan about stuff I could easily change. I just couldn't be bothered to easily change it. I was locked on my pity pot. Now I actually change stuff.
Artsoul is absolutely right.
I also had the negative self-talk going all the time and would have done just about anything to shut it out. Like yourself and love yourself and the rest will fall into place.
I also had the negative self-talk going all the time and would have done just about anything to shut it out. Like yourself and love yourself and the rest will fall into place.
I think it's really important to rebuild our self esteem before we try to tackle any kind of relationship. Otherwise, we're still looking "out there" to solve our problems or fill a void, just like we did with alcohol.
It's good when you can get in touch with what you're feeling/thinking. After I got sober, I realized that a lot of my need to escape was because I was always telling myself negative things that were self-defeating. One you learn to be a friend to yourself, I think the rest will fall into place.
It's good when you can get in touch with what you're feeling/thinking. After I got sober, I realized that a lot of my need to escape was because I was always telling myself negative things that were self-defeating. One you learn to be a friend to yourself, I think the rest will fall into place.
I think that you are all correct here. I have been trying to fill a void, get rid of that empty feeling. I used to think, or tell myself, that I drank because I was bored and lonely. I am starting to realize that I am bored and lonely because I drink. It is really tough to make changes when you are constantly criticizing yourself and telling yourself that you can't do it.
I have tried going to places where sober men are but no luck. I am not good at being just friends with men. Another thing I need to work on. I am going to try to just forget about it for now. I would probably just make a mess of any relationship right now anyways. Just keep going I guess.
I have tried going to places where sober men are but no luck. I am not good at being just friends with men. Another thing I need to work on. I am going to try to just forget about it for now. I would probably just make a mess of any relationship right now anyways. Just keep going I guess.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: SAN FRANCISCO
Posts: 1,176
I am lonely too- broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago due to alcohol issues and other issues. I am trying to hang with friends and just keep occupied. I am doing meditation,I took a painting class recently. You could also get involved with Meetup.
Yeah if you don't have good self esteem that's not a good thing. In my case I am having to rebuild mine since my jerk of an ex was really critical, controlling, and insulting to me.
Drinking does not help for sure, just makes you feel worse about yourself in the end.
Yeah if you don't have good self esteem that's not a good thing. In my case I am having to rebuild mine since my jerk of an ex was really critical, controlling, and insulting to me.
Drinking does not help for sure, just makes you feel worse about yourself in the end.
Sounds to me like you're probably right about cause and effect diha. CloseToRecovery is also right. Stopping drinking needs to be your top priority right now. Everything else WILL get WORSE, slowly, if you don't. Alcohol is a sneaky, vile creature that will eventually take EVERYTHING from you... if you let it.
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