Delilah1

I am sitting in a doctor's office for the first time because I have "stopped" drinking on my own too many times and it hasn't worked. I remained sober during pregnancy and while nursing, however, other than that the longest I have gone is sixteen days without a drink. Two months is huge, not worth throwing it away for one night that will end with a horrible hangover tomorrow. Hope you stick around on here tonight. I will probably be on throughout the day/night since this is day one again for me. However, this time I am here for an intake meeting, and plan on going to my first AA meeting after. Good luck.

dSober

Google "that smell lyics" Ula.

Thanks for the pointer MIRecovery. Always loved that song... now I need it!

Sat front row center with my brother for Skynard once in a small theater on 14th St. in Manhatten. Lucked out, bought tickets from a scalper outdies and ended up front row center. It was after the crash, so it wasn't the whole band but still loved it. Played all the good stuff "Free Bird", "Saturday Night Special:, etc..

dSober

Oops, "outdies" should be "outside" in last post. Freudian slip maybe :-)

drybuss

I hope your ok ula. Letting go is hard to do!

dSober

I've come the conclusion, right or wrong, Delilah, that a hangover IS mild withdrawl. The longer you drink, the less mild that "hangover" becomes.

Withdrawl has put me in the hosptial due to withdrawl seizures a few times. It has killed many of us. Others have killed themelves in a depressed state. Man of us have thought about it suicide much more seriously than "normal", including me.

This sh*t is no joke. It can take you, and everyone around you, to places you never thought you'd be; including the morgue.

Obladi

Hope it turns out as you want it to, Ula.

Caledonia1

I couldn't have put it better
And it just gets worse with every relapse. HALT and have a good long think about what you are about to do.

2 months sober is fantastic,don't spoil that.

dSober

Thanks for the "signature" also MIRecovery. Very glad you've found peace. Still looking myself but I know it's out there if I look hard enough.

ula

Alright. I'm scared as hell. I am about to have my last drink. Now what?

dSober

Thanks for your signature too Drybuss; hard to argue with Jesus.

Very inspirational, even for an agnostic like me.

MIRecovery

Friend in the program was sober for 6 months, super smart, super accomplished, highly educated, started drinking again, group of AA's went to his house and there was feces (his) and empty bottles everywhere. Begged him to go and get help, contacted his family, two days later he blew his brains out. My friend is gone never to return. Unfortunately some die so others can live. It is a lesson I will never ever forget

artsoul

Good question..... when we get caught up the idea of having that drink, it's all we can think about. It's the anticipation of drinking that gives us a buzz as much as the alcohol.

That's where you have to nip it in the bud. You have to get past the anticipation to play the rest of the scenario out. You want to be sober so focus on that - winning all the little battles is what makes us stronger.

justhadenough

last drink ?are you just going to have one then? I doubt it.why go through this again. if you drink tonight it wont be your last drink -it will be the first of many many hellish drinks,hellish days and nights before in few weeks months you try and quit again.why put yourself through it?

Itchy

Everyone is different ula. Me I did a 7 day in hospital detox, and had my Primary care family Doc dialed into the actual drinking amounts and treatments, then I joined AA and here, went to counseling both group with other alkies, and one on one, as well as using my family and friends for support. I read books and made my new persona smoke and alcohol free.

Why? Because I was having to drink in the morning to stop the shakes and be able to hold the coffee cup. It was easy really two shots in the first cup, hold it with two hands and hope it stays down. Then drink all day and night just to keep from going into the Detox mode and pain. 30 plus units of alcohol a day and sick all day with death staring me in the face if I continued, well I finally woke up.

Next step is to decide what you are going to add to your recovery program based on your needs and by you. Find the next AA meeting in your area and go! Then go to more than 5 or 6 until you are tapped into their help offered and at the least are tapped into resources in your local area.

dSober

I forget now where I saw it Ula but someone had a Mary Pickford quote: "...the failing is not in the falling down... We don't fail until we stop trying."

What next? Simple, pick yourself up and don't stop trying.

What you'll find though, is that the better you succeed, the less misery you'll cause yourself and others.

MIRecovery

The right answer is I already had my last drink two months ago so now what. There are many answers to that question very few answers if you are still drinking

ula

Justhadenough, I've been drinking all day. I'm not going to sit here and lie and sugarcoat the situation. I had 2 months sober today and I drank. Thanks to the wonderful people in this site offering me great advice I have decided to make this the very last time I'm drinking. I can't guarantee that I will never drunk again but I sure as heck can guarantee that I will do everything in my power never to drink again.

Needsassistance

Ula, while you have been drinking all day it's ok to stop now, be safe , get some sleep tonight, and start fresh tomorrow.

ula

I have stopped. I'm done.

Obladi

Next you plan what's next.
What's your plan, Ula?