Sasha4

I have 240 days today.
I'm sad though, have some hard stuff going on.
My anxiety feels through the roof.
I went to my GP regarding a throat infection but she would not discuss it and only said that my anxiety was noticable and needed treating.
I told her that I have given up. I know no other way to feel other than this. I don't see any point in further treatment options. Nothing works and maybe this is just how I deal, or rather don't deal with life.

But still got 240 days..........x

Itchy

Sasha, have you ever attended an AA meeting? Could you? Now?
Are you saying you have 240 days free of all substances? Save them along with yourself.
I am sorry it is so tough for you today.

Hollyanne

My new-age take on the sore throat.
You are holding back on saying something.
Having to hold back on some major stuff with people around you.

Or, it could be just a sore throat.

Way to go on 240 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sasha4

Itchy I have and I like going, but I can't now this minute but thanks xx

Itchy

Go the next minute then. YW! I only did AA for my first three months but find them to be a great crisis clearinghouse for us. For some it is a great way of life too, and many in between. Maybe it is what you need for a bit or not. But from your post it appears you don't have anything to lose by a hug and a caring group of real people.
Here's a virtual hug, best I can do from here.

Natom

This is the time when you need meetings the most. I hate it when my mind is telling me I don't wanna go. When I do drag myself along I feel a lot better for it.

Sasha4

No, no I do wish I could go, honestly.
If I had my way, I would go twice day everyday.
I have a baby sleeping in bed upstairs.
So just having a little sob downstairs. It's nothing I'm sure.

Itchy thanks for the hug and yes 240 days from all substances.xx
Hollyanne - I was sick a lot when I was ill, so anything I wanted to say came out!!!! But thanks...it means a lot. You always remember me and you are really kind. xx
Natom - Thanks mate xx

Hevyn

Hi Sasha. Proud of you for those 240 days, but sorry you're going through some difficult times. I think it helps to post about it - relieves the anxiety a little maybe. I hope you'll keep talking to us - we care about you.

CaiHong

Hi Sasha,
Congrats on the 240 days , great effort.
I have been feeling a lot of anxiety and fear of late and what is really helping me is listening to Eckhart Tolle CDs, currently listening to The Power of Now, it really resonates with me and is helping me to understand where the anxiety and fear come from and how to deal with it.
I am over 15 months sober with the support of both AA and SR. The road to recovery is ongoing and I now understand when negative feelings come up this is the time to look hard at my recovery and see what I need to do. I dont like these feelings but now I don't avoid them by drinking but go deeper I to them not try to analyze them but to observe them.
Hope this helps

Love
caiHong

Sasha4

Aww guys - you all are totally, totally brilliant.
Making my tears run a lot!

xxxx

Hollyanne

"BETTER OUT THAN IN !!!!!!!!"
That really is true even if I do want to punch the ould geezer that says it as I blubber, red-eyed and red-faced at a meeting every now and again.

A very big thing for me that I have noticed is that when I cry a lot. Big wet blobs of unstoppable tears, it is cathartic and ALWAYS leaves me better off.
I have cried more in the last 2 years than ever in my life. Not alll the time, God! I have laughed hard too! My sponsor, and other wise heads have said, it is often the hardest road in sobriety that leads to the best outcome.
I am finally seeing the light.

I have a wretched sense of humor that gets me in all sorts of trouble, but I crack myself up!

Big hugs Sasha.

DisplacedGRITS

being in recovery doesn't mean that we'll never feel negative emotions again. go ahead and have a good cry. just remember that you're cared for. sometimes, after i have a good cry i go off and find funny things to watch just to make myself laugh in spite of myself. old Chris Farley SNL stuff still gets me ("in a VAN down by the RIVER!"). i find after a good hard cry, the laughter seems to fill in that negative space the crying left. don't be afraid to let yourself smile. you deserve it.

Itchy

awww Sasha, you are welcome dear! Here is another cyber hug hoping you can get one like it too.

I am as glad you are there for your child as the kitty is her mom. Stick around. I am sooooo glad you posted. It really does help. SR sure helped me.

Sasha4

Oh Itchy that is so cute.
My baby girl is an awful sleeper - the only night she ever slept through was the first night she came home fom hospital.

She often comes in bed with me in the morning - love her.
Baby cuddles are the best!

xxxx

freshstart57

That is a huge blessing you get there, Sasha, with those baby cuddles. A mindful moment to count them is good medicine. On the other hand, if you take a spoon and a flashlight and go to a mirror and see white spots on your throat, you just might need some antibiotics. I'm just sayin'.

mm222

Sasha, I have kids, too-my youngest just turned 2 and I swear I'm just starting to feel a little like myself again. They are such an amazing blessing but it's SO flippen' HARD. Go easy on yourself and keep going to meetings...TIME will help! And don't let your dr off the hook. She should be all over trying to help you manage this-and if she's not you may need a new dr (just my $0.02 of course).
xx

mm222

And 240 days is AMAZING!! Be proud of that-you've earned it!

Black

240 day is brilliant, well done Sasha just fantastic achievement, hope you will feel better soon and think of that lovely baby upstairs.