BLUESMAN52

Hi all!!!

I haven't been on much cause we had a real bad wind storm and lost power for about 3 hours or so.

I see a lot of us are around the same years married!!!!

December 8th makes 24 years for me.
(((Denise))) Congrats on 27!!!!

If I missed anyone else, congrats to you too!!!
Ciao!

Chy

Hi Joe.. May will make 24 for me too!! Small world!

I can see Denise all dressed in a beautiful red dress, beautiful shoes, hair and make-up to a T. Laughing, dancing, and having a good time.

Or after 27 years you two curled up on the couch in granny flannels and bunny slippers? *LOL*

BLUESMAN52

(((Chy)))
I guess we all have a lot to be thankful for, eh?

All this time I have been drinking and the wife stuck by me

Good night all!

Bonni

(((Chy))) and (((Joe)))
My husband and I have been married 25 years, August, so I guess we are all pretty much in the same category. ha ha. Disco days and early 80's. Someday lets all meet up in Las Vegas, or Atlantic City and celebrate our anniversary's. (LOL) That would be fun. ((Big Hugs)) to both of you, Bonni

Laci

I'm with you Bonni! Vegas Vacation sounds great!!!! You are all welcome to stay at my house...now that would be one heck of a party, LOL!

I have 14 years Dec. 28th and for me that is a miracle. Can't figure out why he stuck around this long putting up with me. Glad he did.

Helen darling, how exciting you are going to be in NYC in 3 weeks. You must be walking on air thinking about that trip. Don't forget the romantic ride in a horse drawn carriage around Central Park. It is a must! The restaurants are so good and the stores are incredible for shopping (especially shoes). Visit the Russian Tea Room (very famous) for tea in the afternoon! Quite elegant. Gianna can fill you in on more. You are going at a wonderful time as the city is decorated beautifully for Christmas. I am happy for you! Take photos so we can see the whole trip.

Sounds like everyone is doing great and for this I am thankful.

Night to all and sweet dreams!

Love,
Laci
(Dreaming of NYC at Christmas!)

calibonita

Helen NYC for the holiday season, cool!!! You lucky girl, i live 5 hours from NYC and never seem to have the time or money to visit
for the holidays, NYC is great, but you also have to be careful. Watch your wallet and ID's, never leave thats sort of thing specially your passport in the hotel room, either put if in the hotel safe of carry it on your person, like any large city you visit be aware of whats happening around you and dont let anyone try to sell you anything, specially 'calling cards' or 'bus trips' make shure everything is legitimate, have fun, be safe and let the good times roll. I remember once visiting paris and this lovely looking elderly woman asked if i wanted her to take my photograph, i agreed to it and seconds later she ran of with my camera, not triing to frighten you, just want you to be careful and have a great time.. hey maybe once you are in NYC you can find one of those internet cafe's and get on line and tell us how you are doing. love CALI

Helz

Thanks for all the suggestions ladies! I am very lucky to know you guys because you have been there and know the places to go!

Laci, I will definitely do as you suggested, and yes I am getting excited. Three weeks to go! I have heard of the Russian Tea Rooms but have no idea what or where they are. I know Central Park is a must, but it is better during the day, is that right? I have heard that it is not safe at night.

Cali, thanks for the warning I will take heed. New York sure is going to be a huge city, isn't it? Hahahaha, I will be prancing around like the girls in Sex in the City, buying shoes, lunching etc. Hahahahaha, that is set in Manhatten, isn't it? I can't believe that old lady stole your camera, could she run fast? How are you feeling now Cali, are you feeling a little bit better?

Hey Denise, just thought of something (no, I'm not trying to make you feel old!). I'm 27 years old, that means you got married the year I was born!!!! ((((((hugs Denise)))))))

Love to all (((((A-Z))))))

Love Helen
xoxoxoxoxoxox

Bonni

(((Helen))) ((hugs))
You youngster you!! Same here, you were born about the same year my husband and I started dating!(LOL)
We've been married almost 25 years.
Yes lucky you going to NYC, I'v always wanted to go there, my husband says we may be able to take a trip there next year.
Have lots of fun, and take some pictures, maybe you can show some to us.
Have a great day, I'll talk to you later. Lots of ((hugs)) Love Bonni

Helz

Thanks Bonni

I will definitely take loads of pictures and will definitely share with you when I get back.

Love Helen
xoxoxoxo

wingsfree

Hope you are all well.

Yep Helen I figured that out some time ago. I'm taking that as a good omen, your age, my years of marriage.(((((Hugs Helen))))) So proud of you staying sober dear girl.....smilin at you. And nope I don't feel old, although this past few days has aged me beyond years, Chy has talked about a mother's pain.

Kath...the secret to being married so long, well um, er, ah, perseverance, plus keep making faces at one another, flash him now and then. I give mine the finger lots too, he likes that, sorta a love tap, hahaha, hey whatever works, just put that down to a Canadian thing. LOL

Thanks everyone for your well wishes, I'm amazed myself we've been together so long, looks like it may be another 27 years.
Congrats to all of you who are staying in your marriages too, it's certainly a chore at times.

Chy nope no red dress, a pair of jeans, t shirt, WINTER clothes driving around looking for my kid, and finding her where I prayed she wouldn't be, now that will be a memory years from now.

To bad we didn't live in a perfect world.

It's 2 am here, typing this crying. I need all of you to please pray for my girl, I thought she was going to be ok, but it seems not. The choice she has made here is ripping me and her father apart, she just can't see what she is doing to her life, and I've tried everything with her. So I'm at a huge loss as to what to do anymore, real hard sitting back watching someone you love more then anything in the world, RUIN their life. I have a huge fear for her right now, not sure what will happen.

((((Chy))))) a mother's pain? They can break our hearts can't they? It puts out a big light inside of us.

It makes me wonder if this is happening cause of my sins.

((((Janet)))) I hope your son has made it home safe and sound.

Good to see all of you doing so well with your sobriety, wow the numbers are sure adding up here, keep on going....smilin at you all.

(((((Laci)))))62 days, you go girl.

Anyway take good care everyone. Nothing like starting a day off real early here, I have a hard day ahead of me working, that probably is a good thing, I suppose.

Done majorly venting here. I just need some extra prayers real bad please, hope she opens her eyes real soon here, such a waste, things like this happen to other people, so I thought, so it's been one hell of an eye opener let me tell you. Goes to show a person how much they know.

Love and hugs (((((A - Z)))))....stay well and sober.........Denise

Helz

((((((((Denise)))))))))

I am so sorry you are going through such a rough time with your daughter. I will say prayers for both of you tonight. You are such a wonderful person and certainly do not deserve this torment. I hate to see you so upset but I am so glad that you felt you could come here to share and to talk about it. We are all always here for you and love you very much Denise. I hope your girl opens her eyes and sees what is going on around her. Young people sometimes need to learn the lessons themselves the hard way, but she will come back stronger and tougher I'm sure. None of this is your fault and certainly did not happen because of anything you have done.

Despite your troubles, I am glad that you are staying sober.

I will keep you very close in my thoughts and prayers Denise. Please keep in touch and let me know how you are going.

Love and big hugs,
Helen
xoxoxoxoxoxo

spirit

firstly helen has started bragging about how long till she goes to the usa haha and then i discover joe has been married 24 years, and i had such high hopes we could run away together haha.

wonder where mags is, she is probably hiding because she knows that france is going to beat england in the rugby haha (if that doesnt get her out fighting not sure what will haha)

being married a long time, mm my folks just celebrated 45 years, no wonder they look tired and sad haha (joke)

i think the 70's and 80's had a lot to answer for , causing marriages to last so long haha. i married in 87, but divorced in 94 - 7 year itch i guess.

now this would be a funny idea if we could post our wedding photo's wonder how we could do that, or describe our dresses. i imagine all the blokes in pale blue or tan suits with wide (satin) lapels, velvet bow ties and long hair haha. maybe that was just the aussie styles haha. my frock was fluffy fru fru, actually still my favourite dress to play in espeically fancy dress parties, and it was cream cause i was so much heavier in thosed days, in white i looked like a christmas tree hahahaha

my girlfriend who has been married about 20 years once said her marriage is as faded as her wedding photo hahha, i thought that was funny. so those of you have made it congrats, tis a tough job.

even though i have been divorced etc, recently a young friend asked me what advise i could give on her impending marriage. i told her to always treat him as she would a friend even if he has been horrible!

hey i have soemthing really cool to tell you, well i thought it was. today my 10 yr old came home from school with a certificate called "my friendship slogan...." which they had to complete.

he said
"friendship is like water:- important but sometimes wasted" hahah i thought that was so cool - that's my boy. i asked him why he said that he replied that i was the first thing that came into his head haha

talking of kids, denise what is happening with your daughter, i knew she had moved out of home, but i seemed to have missed something. i thought she had recently been 'scared' into some reality or responsibilty - maybe not. if you catch her give her a 'wack' for me, and a hug, they hurt harder remember.

anyway girls and guys i need to go play, look at the garden etc
hugs to you all and keep moving forward.

love ya's

kath

mountaingirl

Hey all

Wow, so much to catch up on, where to begin.

This is day 90 for me, thought I'd sneak that info over to you guys since you're making it happen with me. Thanks a million!

Denise, I too was unsure of what was going on with your daughter so I've used my imagination. There sure are a lot of bad things our younguns have access to. I just had the next installment of sex-chats with my 13 year old this week. Had to take her shopping to butter her up for a Mom speech. It was agony for us both, but I'm trying desperately to keep the communications between us open and honest. I asked her what I could do to make talks like that easier, and she said "You could not be so uptight" - easier said than done! Having daughters (and you moms of boys must have a similar story) is like holding dynamite.

Laci - Excuse me, did you say you are lucky your husband puts up with you? HE is the lucky one, I can tell. Own it, its' true.

Kath - I was married in 87 too - and yes the pictures look like they've survived a flood. Still keeping him around, waiting for a second wind. We agree that we are now entirely different people than the ones we married. We both have put up with a lot!

Chy - keep trying to drop in on a meeting here but I'm exhausted by 8pm and putting babes to bed! But I'll keep trying. I think it would be good for me to augment my recovery with something fresh at this point.

(((A-Z))) hugging you all

spirit

hey gianna, re your first post, i dont know how it was done but stephanie found mine for me and reposted it once to show me how far i had come, so stephanie i think this could be a new search for you haha

mountain, i had to laugh at your daughters response to what would make the sex talk easier hahaha. not having girls it is interesting how my opinions have changed. when i was younger and even before i had my boys i said i would teach them to respect women, be polite, etc etc especially in the area of sex, which i have done. however as they have got older this strange thing has come over me where my mind says " dont get yourself caught up with a baby you dont want " haha isnt that awful.

i guess i have told him to always ask permission, be aware that sometimes feelings physical and emotional take over, treat her with respect and wear a condom for god's sake. never believe a girl if she says she is on the pill etc, she might be, but hey she might not, or she might not have been on it long enough etc etc. that he needs to take responsibility for preventing himself creating a child. i also said if he brings a girl home, and i have to find her in the kitchen or his bedroom in the morning, he is to be polite, introduce her to us, over her coffee, breakfast etc. hopefully he will be 35 before he does that though hahaha.

i dont think he has done the deed yet, i once asked if he would tell me, he said no way, i said i dont think you would need to i could tell, (yeah as if) that frightened him a bit haha.

i have friends who have daughters adn the conversations are different, most parents fear what we did as young girls or what our mother feared for us. "dont be seen as cheap, dont sleep with everyguy you know, dont get a reputation, boys really only like or respect girls who dont do it and dont get pregnant haha

my friends also have the debate about being on the pill versus condoms. i think if i had a daughter i would do both, but preferably if she was with a boy she had known for a while etc. however if i had my choice i would say always use a condom, carry them with you. in our day the worst thing that could happen was getting pregnant, today the worst thing is that you can pick up 'bugs' that will cause you to be sterile or kill you.

and even though this sounds daft, i did give my son a book once to read, and then said if there are bits you dont understand ask me. then one night we sat down by ourselves and read through the whole book, that way i could explain stuff and determine his understanding
i think the hardest bits to explain is the emotional side of having sex and the difference between sex and making love. sometimes we never learn that haha even as big people.

and tell her that if he doesnt ring again afterwards he isnt worth it anyway, and tell her to get his name haha, that might show some level of committment on his behalf haha (joking)

gee glad i aint you haha

spirit

mountain congrats on 90 days, that is 3 months, wow, you are brilliant!!!!


hugs
kath

ps dont let the sex mum talk drive you back to the drink you might tell her the wrong stuff hahaha

mountaingirl

OH Kath, that was really helpful! I so totally didn't picture how those conversations would go with a son! Geeze, he's lucky to have such an easy going Mom (tell him I said so). I asked my daughter, since she's going to have her first boyfriend any minute, if she understood that kissing can take you quickly to places you never figured on. She looked at me like I had a dirty mind. Please. I also asked her if she planned as of now to save herself for her husband, and she said yes. I told her that it is her choice, and her's alone, and that if she changes her mind I hoped she'd tell me. I'm saving the condom/pill conversation for the next time I can summon enough guts to go there!
I agree about the old stereotypes of boys who sleep around as cool, vs. girls as sluts. Things have changed a bit I think because of movies and music, where sex is supposed to be a normal ordinary part of dating. In a weird way those media are out there parenting my kids in a powerful way. I want to continue to have a voice though. I'm trying! (turning red over here)
So, back to sobriety!
Somebody change the subject before I turn purple.

spirit

i have heard in the usa that there is quite a strong movement toward virginity, and that in some places teh kids join clubs and pledge to be virgins till they are married. not sure i totally agree with that idea, but i understand the sentiment.

i think also that adults think of sex as being something that is done by men to women, boys to girls etc, which sets up those stereotypes or fears. by default a girl having sex seems to become a 'victim' if that makes sense.

oh and what our mother's said, i remember to this day my mum telling me once i had bedroom eyes!!! good god, i just thought they were green. but she is a screwy catholic haha

well it is cold here and i am going to snuggy into bed, so will catch you on our sober journey tomorrow

hugs
kath

Chy

Hi darlings!!

Hope everyone is well!

Denise... PLEASE don't blame yourself for her actions.. I do believe you told me that a while back when going through the thing with my girl. Keep praying for her don't make demands, let her know you love her and let her make her mistakes to build a stronger foundation for her life. I know it's painful but you have the courage to be there for her while watching her fall. It will work out and don't ever blame yourself!

Hope to see you all at Bonni's chat.

Laci

Oh my, interesting conversation going on here! Hmmm...when I was in Florida with mum last week she kept reminding me of how I used to drive my Father crazy when I was 15/16 as I was so boy crazy and a total flirt! Not much has changed...LOL.

Mountaingirl, you are incredible and I am sending you hugs! 90 DAYS!!!! I remember when you signed onto SR and Kath made me laugh so hard because she said "mountaingirl?...we don't got one of those around here!" I laughed so hard at that. I am so very happy you are here and your posts are always so thoughtful and so important in my recovery and the recovery of the others here. I thank you for helping me to stay sober! By the way, the Pecan pie came out incredibly delicious. My husband (who is not a huge sweet eater) had a rather large piece and he loved it. Thanks for the recipe and I am sure my Thanksgiving guests will love that pie!!

Gianna, I was with my parents in 1971 in NYC and we were at the old Russian Tea Room. How sad that it is no longer the lovely room it once was! Back then it was so elegant and you dressed to go there. I was so young and so impressed...just loved the ambiance. Things change but some things should not change. In Las Vegas there is little in the way of historical sites as whenever a developer wants to build something new they blow up the great old buildings (Sands, Dunes, etc) and all history is erased within 60 seconds. That is why I love Europe so much as history is so cherished and loved throughout Europe. Can you imagine them blowing up Trafalgar Square for a new development! LOL.

I saw the terrible winds experienced yesterday in the East and am amazed they went ahead and put the tree up! Scary to see it blowing so much but glad that it was planted without incident. How wonderful that you can gaze at that lovely tree each day and savour the lovliness of it.

Denise, you are in my prayers. I am so sorry that you are going thru this hard and difficult time. Please know that we all are with you in thought and prayer. I cannot imagine what living hell you must be enduring and can only hope that your daughter will realize about her choices and make life decisions good for her. Either that or she has to run the gamat of pain that awaits her in her choice. She owns her decision (Dr. Philisim) and all you can do is to stand back and watch and try to have faith that she will survive whatever it is that she is choosing for now. You love your kids so much and it must be terribly painful to see them take those side paths on occasion rather than staying on course. All those little paths lead back to the main straight though, however long and painful they may be. We get lost in the woods on the way but most of us find our way back.

Kath, your son is a bright young lad isn't he! The analagy of water and friendship really was quite brilliant! I'm going to remember that one as it is quite true. I remember the 70's/80's very fondly as most of the 80's I was sober and can actually remember taking the Disco dancing lessons, the great old songs by the Bee Gee's on the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack, drinking the newest drink "Perrier Water w/lemon" and wearing the coolest clothes with big, big hair!! Funny memories but good ones.

Helen, yes, be careful in NYC especially at night. Cali is correct in her message to you regarding different people that may try to sell you bus/subway passes, etc. Obviously if someone requests to take your photo say no!! LOL....I know it is not funny but I can just picture a nice elderly lady offering to take Cali's photo and then running off. I have a friend this happened to and it is terrible to have happen. Takes the wind out of your sails. So have a wonderful time but protect yourself. From what Gianna said the Russian Tea Room is not longer the elegant room it once was. There are no doubt places you will find more appealing for you youngsters!! More "Sex & The City" style! I love the clothes and shoes on that show also.

Off to another art fair today. Not too thrilled but oh well, maybe see some good things there for Christmas gifts. What it all comes down to, for me, is at the end of the day now I look back and find that my accomplishments in daily routines may not always have been met but my greatest accomplishment of sobriety has been met yet another day, through the grace of God and I can reflect on the good of that knowing that living well and sober today makes tomorrow a happy day already! It takes time to let go of our old way of thinking but through this program it is doable. I have found that my main goal in life is sobriety, one day at a time and I constantly have to be willing to go to any lengths to stay sober. That may mean career changes, changes in friendships, changes in my daily routines, even avoiding the liquor department at the grocery store. Whatever it takes, I have to do the footwork. My HP will do the rest and that is true faith which is something none of newbies were much into. My faith was my bottle of Merlot. I had complete faith in that it would get me thru anything. It was in essence my higher power but in the long run the alcohol which I believed to be my best friend, was my worst friend. Everyday it gets better, the cravings are less and far between and we get stronger in our individual programs. What may work for me may not for another person and vice versa but the critical point is that we stay sober today. We are all doing that and for this I am grateful!

Love,
Laci
(Eating Pecan pie at 9:15AM!!)

1_day@_a_time

just checking in to say hello, hope everyone is doing well, working a good program, and staying sober.

I just started a new thread to wish Carla congrats for her 30 days, hope each of you will check in to say congrats and wish her well. This big family has helped me a lot, and I know it has helped Carla a great deal also. Thanks to everyone of you!

Take Care of YOU! Tom