ran into a so called friend
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 654
ran into a so called friend
I have been doing good with cravings and working a program
of recovery that works for me. This evening, all my hard work
was put to the test. I was at a store and ran into someone that
I used to be "best friends with" ( I put it like that because a
best friend wouldn't feed a friends addiction). As soon as I
saw her I knew she was still using. She said I looked really
good and could tell that I was in recovery. We talked for
20 minutes then as we're walking to our cars she pulls out
my DOC heroin and goes "how about one more time just for
old tmes" I must have looked shocked to her because then she
says "don't worry I have clean needles just hop in". Before I knew
what was happening I had taken two steps towards her car. It
is like my body just went into action, luckily my mind snapped into
action also and I took 5 beep breaths and then just turned and walked
away. She ran after me saying "hey wait I didn't mean to offend you
its just really good stuff and we never got a last time together!" .
I was so disgusted that I literally just laughed and told her she will
never understand. I told her to never call me and that if she sees me
out again she might as well pretend she didn't.
That "one last time thing" has finally got old. I used that as an
excuse to use for years, and I finally said no! I couldn't wait
to get home and close my door. I almost wanted to cry at the
thought that I was literally two steps away from throwing
everything I worked so hard at, everything I am so proud of
away. Saying no in a situation is a really big accomplishment
for me! She obviously knows all my triggers and knew exactly
what to say to make me question being sober and she feeds
that part of my brain that is able to rationalize anything.
I thank god that she caught me at a moment where I was
secure in my recovery. I thank god that my brain snapped
into action and that I kept my self respect tonight.
This is kind of a rant, but its not like I can call up my mom
and be like "I almost used but I didn't!" lol.
Hope everyone is having a good night! This is a good reminder
that people that use are only thinking about justifying their
own actions. If I had used this girl would have been so happy.
No active addict wants to see someone that was just as bad
as them walking away from drugs.
Maylie
of recovery that works for me. This evening, all my hard work
was put to the test. I was at a store and ran into someone that
I used to be "best friends with" ( I put it like that because a
best friend wouldn't feed a friends addiction). As soon as I
saw her I knew she was still using. She said I looked really
good and could tell that I was in recovery. We talked for
20 minutes then as we're walking to our cars she pulls out
my DOC heroin and goes "how about one more time just for
old tmes" I must have looked shocked to her because then she
says "don't worry I have clean needles just hop in". Before I knew
what was happening I had taken two steps towards her car. It
is like my body just went into action, luckily my mind snapped into
action also and I took 5 beep breaths and then just turned and walked
away. She ran after me saying "hey wait I didn't mean to offend you
its just really good stuff and we never got a last time together!" .
I was so disgusted that I literally just laughed and told her she will
never understand. I told her to never call me and that if she sees me
out again she might as well pretend she didn't.
That "one last time thing" has finally got old. I used that as an
excuse to use for years, and I finally said no! I couldn't wait
to get home and close my door. I almost wanted to cry at the
thought that I was literally two steps away from throwing
everything I worked so hard at, everything I am so proud of
away. Saying no in a situation is a really big accomplishment
for me! She obviously knows all my triggers and knew exactly
what to say to make me question being sober and she feeds
that part of my brain that is able to rationalize anything.
I thank god that she caught me at a moment where I was
secure in my recovery. I thank god that my brain snapped
into action and that I kept my self respect tonight.
This is kind of a rant, but its not like I can call up my mom
and be like "I almost used but I didn't!" lol.
Hope everyone is having a good night! This is a good reminder
that people that use are only thinking about justifying their
own actions. If I had used this girl would have been so happy.
No active addict wants to see someone that was just as bad
as them walking away from drugs.
Maylie
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 24
Wow, good for you! I think this is my favorite post today! 
I am nervous to be around my friends and family for the first time when I turn down a drink. I think they will probably fall over. Thanks for the inspiring story!
p.s. - I do hope your "friend" gets some help sometime too.
I am nervous to be around my friends and family for the first time when I turn down a drink. I think they will probably fall over. Thanks for the inspiring story!p.s. - I do hope your "friend" gets some help sometime too.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 654
Aw thanks SoTiredofThis!
I'm sure your family and friends will be surprised when you turn down
a drink but I'm even more sure that they will notice all the positive
changes in you and your life from not drinking and they'll be really
proud of you Sometimes the hardest part of telling people
you aren't going to drink/use anymore is convincing them that you
have a problem. Once we get our loved ones to accept we have a
problem, then if they truely love us they will understand, support us,
and be proud of us
I hope she gets help too, not only for herself, but also for her young
child. I just thank god that she still lives with her parents so her
child is taken care finacially, mentally, and phsyically by the child's
grandparents.
Maylie
I'm sure your family and friends will be surprised when you turn down
a drink but I'm even more sure that they will notice all the positive
changes in you and your life from not drinking and they'll be really
proud of you
Sometimes the hardest part of telling peopleyou aren't going to drink/use anymore is convincing them that you
have a problem. Once we get our loved ones to accept we have a
problem, then if they truely love us they will understand, support us,
and be proud of us
I hope she gets help too, not only for herself, but also for her young
child. I just thank god that she still lives with her parents so her
child is taken care finacially, mentally, and phsyically by the child's
grandparents.
Maylie
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 654
Hevyn this was a bigger test than my law school midterms I'm
going through this week! lol. I never realized that saying no
could empower me and make me stronger, but it def. has.
Temptation will be hard for a long time, maybe even forever,
but after today I know that I am capable of saying no. The
relief I felt when I got home was crazy!
going through this week! lol. I never realized that saying no
could empower me and make me stronger, but it def. has.
Temptation will be hard for a long time, maybe even forever,
but after today I know that I am capable of saying no. The
relief I felt when I got home was crazy!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Uk
Posts: 764
Just reading through your thread n came across this - i hope you don't mind.
You did the right thing n thAt must have been so difficult.
I can't really say anything about the 'friend' because I'm ashamed to say i did something similar to this. I befriended someone who was trying to get off codeine n then i msged them telling them exactly where to get it. I didn't set out to do this i did want to help her not even sure why i did it but she cut all ties with me.
I hope your friend gets clean 1 day but you were right to cut contact as you've got a bright future ahead of you. Anyway thanks for the comment on my thread earlier.
Hope you are well.
Evey x
You did the right thing n thAt must have been so difficult.
I can't really say anything about the 'friend' because I'm ashamed to say i did something similar to this. I befriended someone who was trying to get off codeine n then i msged them telling them exactly where to get it. I didn't set out to do this i did want to help her not even sure why i did it but she cut all ties with me.
I hope your friend gets clean 1 day but you were right to cut contact as you've got a bright future ahead of you. Anyway thanks for the comment on my thread earlier.
Hope you are well.
Evey x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Hi Maylie,
That is s huge step. My husband still drinks a few beers each night which bugs me a little, but doesn't tempt me. I haven't been in the situation where I have had to turn down wine yet, but I know my first test will be Thanksgiving. I may end up eating at the kids take because they will be the only ones not drinking!!
That is s huge step. My husband still drinks a few beers each night which bugs me a little, but doesn't tempt me. I haven't been in the situation where I have had to turn down wine yet, but I know my first test will be Thanksgiving. I may end up eating at the kids take because they will be the only ones not drinking!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,618
Good for you!!! Wow, what a test! That must have been tempting. It is very inspiring to hear this. Maybe just try to remember that your "friend" isnt herself right now and is still in the horrible throws of addiction. Im not suggesting you should be her friend, Im just trying to say she is obviously not well and not using her brain properly.
Excellent job! I couldnt quite do that yet if I ran into a drinking buddy who did the same thing.
Excellent job! I couldnt quite do that yet if I ran into a drinking buddy who did the same thing.
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