Starting Again
Starting Again
First off, some of you gave me some great advice the other night about coping with depression. Thank you all so much for your kindness.
I went drinking for two nights. The first one, I just wanted to get away from myself for a few hours. Last night because I had some booze left over and god forbid I just throw it out!
Anyway, am back on the wagon. I've been looking at why this attempt didn't last. I got to 29 days and it's the longest I've ever gone. I think I got complacent about it. I was sorta trying AA but not really putting any effort into it. Always putting off a meeting until tomorrow etc. Tomorrow - this magical land where I have the time and energy to do everything. I kept thinking I'd maybe check out other recover options. Something that might be easier for me. I suppose because I wasn't really having any cravings, I thought I could do things my way.
So I'm committing to the 90 meetings in 90 days. I do have my issues with AA but I'll be interested to see if they're still around after 90 days. I suspect that the real issue I have is FEAR!!
Anyway, thanks again to all of you. xx
I went drinking for two nights. The first one, I just wanted to get away from myself for a few hours. Last night because I had some booze left over and god forbid I just throw it out!
Anyway, am back on the wagon. I've been looking at why this attempt didn't last. I got to 29 days and it's the longest I've ever gone. I think I got complacent about it. I was sorta trying AA but not really putting any effort into it. Always putting off a meeting until tomorrow etc. Tomorrow - this magical land where I have the time and energy to do everything. I kept thinking I'd maybe check out other recover options. Something that might be easier for me. I suppose because I wasn't really having any cravings, I thought I could do things my way.
So I'm committing to the 90 meetings in 90 days. I do have my issues with AA but I'll be interested to see if they're still around after 90 days. I suspect that the real issue I have is FEAR!!
Anyway, thanks again to all of you. xx
I had a lot of fear going to AA, but I made the commitment to 90 in 90 and stuck with it. It has helped me tremendously. I hope it does the same for you! Good luck and have fun in sobriety!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
It's sounds like you identified what the problem is....And you have a good solution to solve it. We were talking in a meeting yesterday how people new to AA get on that pink cloud....Everything is wonderful....I got this...One or two won't hurt me....You are by no means alone in that kind of thinking...It's pretty common. I had to commit to doing 90 meetings in 90 days...To getting a sponsor....To setting time aside everyday for stepwork....Getting phone numbers and using them.....I worked at it for three months. That is the foundation that my 15+ months of sobriety is built on.....Do you know why I did that elihoping?.....Because alcohol was going to kill me if I didn't....I didn't even know that working those steps would change the way I think....And the way I live. What a bonus....Good luck.....I think you can do it....I know it works.
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