Big time craving
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
Big time craving
I have so much resentment towards my parents. I have known this for awhile but today my addict brother (who is still out there) has been trying to reach out to them and they just tell him he is worthless and a waste of life. Both my parents are addicts too. See the pattern? (rhetorical of course). I am not only upset that my brother is threatening to kill himself again but at the fact that my parents have neglected all 3 of their children and can't handle anything in life. So this resentment came up hard core in me today and I felt auto pilot come on as I was driving home from work. It wanted so badly to go to the liquor store. Or the bar. I would've sat in my car and drank for all I cared. Where would that have gotten me? So I begrudgingly came home, called my sponser and she talked me into a meeting. I honestly was going to take 2 benadryl and cry my self to sleep in a white knuckled pity pot state. I still want to drink but instead I am heading to a meeting. Guess I have quite a bit of issues to work on huh? There are good days and bad days, today is the latter. Hoping I will get some relief at the meeting tonight. Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1
That's the thing, remember there are good days and bad days, you are smart getting through this one and going to a meeting, as the saying goes "this too shall pass" but I know how you feel sometimes it seems it wont pass. Keep your chin up,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
Thanks everyone and it's sister natom lol In the past I would've listened to that chick inside of me on autopilot. I really am proud of myself for pushing thru it, thinking thru the drink and making it to a meeting. I do feel better after having gone. I am still sad and angry but the feelings aren't as sharp. I think that just by staying sober thru this situation made me an eensy bit stronger. (I hope) Thanks for all your support.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Thanks everyone and it's sister natom lol In the past I would've listened to that chick inside of me on autopilot. I really am proud of myself for pushing thru it, thinking thru the drink and making it to a meeting. I do feel better after having gone. I am still sad and angry but the feelings aren't as sharp. I think that just by staying sober thru this situation made me an eensy bit stronger. (I hope) Thanks for all your support.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
Thanks sapling...and not really. We read the first few chapters of the big book together last week but step work begins this Sunday...I know what step 1 is and think I have already gotten past it LOL
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)