Weasel1966

I will not drink.

Simple.

It's been a plan of words too long. I think the words. I speak the words. I write the words.

Occasionally I would act on these words.

It's like anything else really. In school I would sit and listen. Try to understand the concepts the teacher was telling. Read a book about it. Tested to see what I retained of the information I was subjected to.

It's only during the exercises did I get it. It's then I would fumble around to see if I could execute on the concepts.

I was not a good student. Rather poor actually. I failed many tests.

This is my life. I have long been walking around with a plan of words. I had no idea I did this. Only the last few weeks have revealed the flawed logic that I was applying to my addictions.

It takes a plan of actions.

When I was faced with temptations the words were hard to hide behind. They did nothing to protect me or help me.

But had I called someone. Got on SR. Gone to the movies, the store, anywhere to keep busy...I would not have used.

That for me is the difference. When I hear others declare "I am ready" I believe them. I want to be believed.

I am ready.

Ready with a plan of actions. The words I will leave on the paper.

K

pipparina

Nice post K-

You do sound ready. And you are calling someone when the urge hits. That is so important. A real change in action. I'm glad you are getting through this tough period.

frances2011

Well said, well done, K.

I relate to your post, see my sig. It was Sugarbear here (I think?) who said this in a post to someone else. It hit me like a ton of bricks in the good way and cemented my resolve.

I do not drink booze.

I breathe, eat, pray, sleep, exercise, work, laugh, share, support.......

Sapling

Great post Ken.

But the program of action, though entirely sensible, was pretty drastic. It meant I would have to throw several lifelong conceptions out of the window. That was not easy. But the moment I made up my mind to go through with the process, I had the curious feeling that my alcoholic condition was relieved, as in fact it proved to be.

bb pg 42

NatalieN

Great OP and replies. Thanks weasel.

Natalie

FreeFall

It's an ongoing battle and you have to use all the weapons you have. Words can turn it around, but I agree, actions are also key. Maybe words to still the AV but actions to remove yourself from the situation or temptation. Walk away, pick up the phone, type a post, bake cookies, help someone-anything to distract.

Ken, you are going to be successful at this. Try not to look at it as a test but rather a choice

MIRecovery

The alcoholic views the world through the eyes of their intentions. While the world views the alcoholic through the eyes of their actions.

Welcome to the sober world.

Weasel1966

You might think that I knew this. I heard it said here many many times. I said it many times.

But it's when you know it .... Really know it... It's different.

I cannot explain it.

But I know it.